


Beautifully Seventeen

by Aravis_Bryir



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Autistic Hannah Foster, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 69,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28046763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aravis_Bryir/pseuds/Aravis_Bryir
Summary: Lex wants to leave Hatchetfield, but it's looking like it might be less and less likely as life with her mother becomes harder.I suck at summaries.Basically there's an over-aching plot and each chapter is very loosely inspired by a Heathers song. Well really just the title of the song, sometimes by what the song is about.**I updated the last chapter and added a bunch of stuff, so make sure you re-read chapter 19 before reading chapter 20 when it comes out
Relationships: Hannah Foster & Ethan Green, Hannah Foster & Lex Foster, Hannah Foster & Webby, Lex Foster & Ethan Green, Lex Foster/Ethan Green
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	1. Beautiful

In a way Lex was slightly jealous of how Hannah saw the world. She always saw the good in everyone. She saw how bright and colourful the world was, whereas all Lex saw was ugly greys. Despite her social anxiety and shyness, Hannah always trusted people. Lex could barely trust her own shadow.

The sun beat down upon them as Lex walked hand in hand with her sister on their way to school. Even though she didn’t want to go, Hannah skipped along humming a merry tune to herself.

“Pretty.” She said, pointing.

Lex looked up from the pavement to see what It was Hannah was on about.

She was pointing at the reflection of sunlight hitting a puddle, the light casting golden waves on a brick wall that grew next to it. Hannah watched the light swirl, completely mesmerised.

“Hey, we gotta go, Banana.” Lex said, tugging on her hand gently.

She didn’t react, continuing to watch the light. She reaches out trying to touch it, smiling in delight when the light bounces over her hand. “Look, Lexi.” She says excitedly.

“Yeah, I’m looking, but we really gotta get a move on. We’re late enough as it is.” She pulls on Hannah’s hand, trying to get her to move away from the puddle.

“No, Lexi.” She yanks her hand from Lex’s grasp, moving it to join her other hand on the wall. She takes a step forward, stepping into the puddle without realising. She looks down and sees the water rippling, shining with light. She starts jumping in it, enjoying the water splashing around her. She laughs, looking down at the puddle. The water was sloshing around a lot more now, the light catching on it and shining into her eyes. It was bright. Too bright. She wasn’t having fun anymore. She starts to panic, the light continuing to flash up at her. She rubs at her eyes, beginning to cry.

Lex picks her up out of the puddle. “I told you we needed to go, didn’t I?” She says, sighing. “It’s okay, Banana, don’t cry.” She gives her a squeeze, continuing their walk to school.  
Hannah sniffles, hugging tightly onto Lex.

She walked as fast as she could to Hatchetfield’s elementary school, dropping a still upset Hannah off at her class before running the rest of the way to Hatchetfield High. She never liked having to be separated from Hannah when she was upset. No one else could cheer her up. No one else knew how to take care of her. Lex’s entire world revolved around Hannah. She was the only splash of colour in her bleak universe.

The bell had just rung as she entered the main building of the school. Students bumped into her unapologetically as they made their way to their various classes. 

Lex rushed to her locker, pulling it open and stuffing her bag inside. She grabs the books she needs for her first class and heads towards her classroom.

A student going the opposite direction to her full on collides into her. He spills the contents of his water bottle all over her. 

He grunted as way of apology before continuing on his way.

“Fuck you.” She muttered after him. She had already gotten a bit wet from carrying Hannah, and now her barely held together textbooks were soaked. She hated everyone at her school. They were all assholes. Though there was an exception.

She rushed the rest of the way to her class, taking her usual seat at the back of the room, slumping down. She splats her books on the desk, water steadily leaking out of them. She knew the books were likely completely ruined, but it wasn’t like she could afford new ones, so she’d just have to deal with it.

“Shit, what happened to you?” Ethan, the exception to the assholes of the school, sat down next to her.

“What do you think happened?” She said, rather annoyed at how her day was going to far. “Some dipshit spilled his drink all over me. And that was after Hannah went jumping in a puddle then freaked out and I had to carry her to school.” She folded her arms on top of her desk, resting her head on them. 

“Damn, sounds like your morning’s sucked.”

“Yeah, no shit.” She says, words muffled by her arms and the desk.

“Well, hey, lighten up a bit. I heard we’re gonna have a relief for English, and you know what that means; a whole hour of doing nothing.” He said, leaning back in his chair, crossing his feet up on the desk.

“You always do nothing in English.”

“Yeah, but this time I won’t get detention for it.” He says grinning.

“Feet off the table, Green.” Their teacher, Mr Madej said, entering the room. “And sit up, Foster, we’ve got a lot to cover today.”

Reluctantly, Lex sat up and flipped open her sodden science textbook to some random page. The page tore in the process. She groaned.

“Hey, share mine so that yours has a chance to dry.” Ethan said, opening up his own textbook.

“Since when did you bring books to class?”

“Since, five minutes ago, and you should be happy that today was the day I decided to be a better student.” He says grinning at her.

She shoves his shoulder, before shuffling her chair over so she has a better view of the textbook. She certainly wasn’t the most dedicated of students, often goofing off with Ethan, but there were times when she needed to focus and get her work done. She couldn’t afford to get bad grades. 

Ethan, on the other hand, didn’t particularly care about how well he did or didn’t do at school. He only ever did enough so that he would pass. He didn’t want to be forced into repeating a year and not being able to hang out with Lex all the time.

The time dragged by for the first few classes until it was time for lunch. Lex and Ethan always spent their lunch break in the same spot out on the school oval under a tree away from everyone. She sat with her back pressed against the rough bark, flicking through her thankfully dry maths textbook. They had a test later that day and there was no way she was going to fail. She hadn’t gotten to study the previous night like she had hoped.

Ethan sat next to her, picking at the grass, glancing over at her occasionally. He always admired her ability to just focus so intently on what she was doing. He couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Hey, Lex.” He said.

“What?” She replied, not sparing him a glance.

“You’re beautiful.” He said before he had time to rethink it.

She looks up sharply from the textbook. “Ha ha, very funny.” She says before going back to her studying, cheeks slightly flushed.

“I’m being serious.” He says, taking hold of her hand.

Her whole body goes stiff from the physical contact.

“Sorry.” He let’s go of her hand as quickly as he’d taken it. “I really think you’re beautiful though.”

“You’re delusional then.” She doesn’t look up from her book, moving it closer to her face so she doesn’t have to look at him.

He shifts closer to her. “I’m not.”

“I’m trying to study, Ethan.”

“I know. I just needed to tell you that.” He reluctantly moves back to where he was sitting before. “I’ll let you get back to your studying.” He said, slightly disappointed. He and Lex weren’t officially dating or anything, but it was no secret that he liked her. He was ninety percent certain that she liked him back too. He often daydreamed about being able to take her out on a date; holding her hand; kissing her. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, and he wanted her to know that.

“Stop staring at me.” She said, not looking up from the book and breaking his train of thought.

“Right, sorry.” He said rather sheepishly, looking at the ground instead.

Lex turned the page in her book. “Fuck.” She said, dropping the book and holding her head in her hands.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking over at her slightly concerned.

She gestures to the book at her feet.

He looks over at the page she had just opened to. It appeared as if it were meant to give instructions on how to do some sort of formula but had been completely covered in crayon scribbles. “Hannah did that?”

“Well, it wasn’t me, genius.” 

“I’ll go grab my book and you can use that.” He suggested, starting to get to his feet.

“There’s no point, lunch is gonna be over any second. The test is next period and I still don’t know how to do fucking matrices.”

“You’ll do fine on the test, you’re super smart.” He tried to reassure her.

“No, Ethan, I’m not. That’s why I need to study. And I couldn’t study last night because shit happened and now, I’m gonna fail the fucking test.” She gets up off of the ground and starts heading back towards the school as the bell rings.

“You’re not gonna fail.” He says, going after her.

“Yeah, I am, because I’m a ‘dumb piece of shit.’”

“Why did that sound like you were quoting someone?” He says, catching up and over taking her. He stood in front of her, blocking her from going inside the school building. He places his hands on her shoulders, even though he feels her tense up. “Whatever. Don’t think like you’re gonna fail, because you’re gonna pass. You’re the smartest person I know, Lex. You’ve got this.”

“Yeah, thanks.” She says, pushing past him and entering the building. She appreciated his faith in her, she really did. But it was all for nothing, she needed to study, and she hadn’t been able to get to the one crucial piece of information that meant the difference between passing and failing.

She loved Hannah, she really did, but she couldn’t help but feel anger towards her little sister. She knew it wasn’t her fault. Hannah couldn’t always tell the difference between right and wrong. She wouldn’t have known the difference between Lex’s maths textbook and her colouring book. 

She’d probably done it last night when things had gotten bad. It hadn’t gotten physical, thank goodness, but it had been loud and angry. Hannah always hated it when things went that way, so she would’ve done something comforting. If Lex had been able to be with her then maybe her maths book would have remained intact. But Hannah’s safety was more important than some textbook.

To her surprise, she didn’t feel like she’d done too badly in her test. Maybe she would pass with a decent enough score.

When she left the classroom, Ethan was waiting outside for her. 

“How’d it go?” He asked, falling into step beside her as they headed to shop class.

She shrugged. “Only time will tell.” She replied.

“Well, I think you did brilliantly.” He was walking so close to her that their hands occasionally brushed each other.

Every time they made contact she would tense up for a brief moment. She wished she didn’t to that. There were times that she wanted nothing more than for Ethan to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. But that couldn’t happen. Tensing up upon physical contact that wasn’t from Hannah had become second nature to her. She never knew when a friendly hand on her shoulder could become a slap in the face.

When they went into shop class they got straight to work. It was the only class Ethan actively participated in. Lex didn’t mind it either, it was an easy A, and as long as she at least looked like she was trying she’d pass the class with flying colours.

She loved watching Ethan work at whatever it was he was making. Every now and then he’d poke his tongue out in concentration. He’d get this look on his face that she couldn’t help but love. It was beautiful.

There was a part of her that wished they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but she knows it could never happen. She was too broken for that. No one could care about someone like her. Hannah cared about her, but that was different. Hannah cared for her because Lex kept her safe.

“Why’re you staring?” Ethan asked, breaking out of his wood-working concentration.

“Huh?” She says, breaking away from her thoughts. “Sorry, just zoned out.” 

“Okay.” He shrugs before going back to work.

* * *

“How was school, Banana?” Lex asked as she walked her sister home from school.

Hannah said nothing but held up something she’d made during the day. It was a piece of cardboard with random holes cut out of it. The holes were covered from behind with an assortment of coloured cellophane.

“That’s really pretty.” Lex says, admiring it.

“Window.” She says, walking along, holding tightly onto Lex’s hand. “Makes world pretty.” She grabs her artwork and holds it right up in front of Lex’s face.

“Yeah, I see.” She says, carefully moving the cardboard away from her face.

Hannah lets go of her hand to hold her work in both hands, keeping it up in front of her face so she could see through the cellophane. She giggled and skipped along, looking in all directions. 

“Pretty.” She kept saying whenever she focused her gaze on something.

Lex loved Hannah. Loved how she saw the beauty in everything and everyone. She wished she could give Hannah a better life than the one they were living. Lex hated their mum; hated their home. She wanted to take Hannah far away from Hatchetfield, to where the world was truly beautiful and not some ugly grey mess. But that was never going to happen. No one ever made it out of Hatchetfield, let alone two kids.

Right now, their lives sucked. Their mum sucked. The entire town sucked. But maybe, just maybe, they’d be able to make it out. Lex saved every cent she could to go towards their escape fund. It wasn’t a lot. Only a few dollars. But it was something and one day maybe she’d have enough. Until that day they’d have to stay in their shitty trailer home with their shitty mother.

As if having heard her thoughts Hannah came over to her, looking concerned. “Mama home?” She asked.

Lex shook her head. “She shouldn’t be home yet.”

Hannah nods slowly, before holding onto Lex’s hand once more.


	2. Candy Store

It had been a particularly rough night. Lex had acquired a fresh bruise across her cheek, which she had covered up with makeup. It was shitty cheap makeup that she used but it was all she could afford, and it did the trick. She hated that she’d gotten so good at covering bruises. She shouldn’t have to be but with a mother like hers, she didn’t have a choice.

It had nothing to do with appearances. She could care less about how she looked. It was more to avoid questions. Most of her fellow students ignored her, but she knew they’d gossip amongst themselves as to how she’d gotten a bruise on her face.

The makeup coverup never quite worked on Ethan. He almost never said anything, but he’d give her a concerned look and she knew that he knew what had gone down at the trailer she called home. 

She didn’t want him to know about what her home life was like. But then there were times where she just wanted to be held by him while she cried. Sometimes this desire grew so strong when she was having a bad day that she would actively avoid him. But by the end of the day, he’d find her, give her hand a soft squeeze and smile softly at her. It always made her feel infinitely better. She hated that he had so much power over her feelings like that.

She always had to convince herself that her feelings towards him were just infatuation, just a passing fancy. Yet everyday she seemed to fall for him a little more. There may even come a day when she didn’t tense up at his touch. A day where she’d trust him completely. 

She trusted him enough to leave him alone with Hannah. She did not trust him enough to tell him what her home life was really like.

“Hey.” She said, coming up to him at the end of their science class. She avoided eye contact and kept her head down. She could feel the concerned look he was giving her at seeing her wearing makeup. “Would you be able to watch Hannah for a few hours after school?”

“Yeah, sure.” He was always happy to watch Hannah. “I thought you didn’t have work today though?” Normally he’d babysit Hannah while Lex was off at work. She always forwarded him her work schedule, so he’d know when he’d be watching the kid.

“Yeah, well, this morning I got asked to cover for Amelia.” She said quickly, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. She didn’t have work that day, but she didn’t want to let him know that.

“What time do you finish? I could come pick you up.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

She could hear the genuine concern in his voice. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll catch you later.” She says, making a hasty exit from the room.

“Hey, Lex.” He called after her.

She ignored him and kept on walking. She couldn’t talk to him any longer, she was already fighting off tears. She took a few deep breaths and pulled her hood over her face before shoving her hands back inside her pockets.

She walked straight out of the school and headed for the park. It would practically be deserted this time of day. She’d be able to get away with being there until the last period of the day when she next had class with Ethan. It would give her some time and space to breathe and collect herself.

She ran the rest of the way. She found herself a hidden spot beneath a bridge in the middle of the park and sat down, curling her legs up to her chest. She allowed herself to let out a few stray tears. Tears, which turned into sobs.

She hated everything. She hated her mum. She hated Hatchetfield. She hated her very existence. The only good parts were Hannah. And Ethan.

She felt alone. So alone and so cold in this dark, grey, ugly life. She just floated by. Her only purpose was to protect Hannah. She’d been told so many times that she was useless. That her very existence was a mistake.

The kids at school called her trailer trash, a slut, be it too her face or behind her back. No one cared enough to call her by her name. She might as well not have one.

She buried her face in her hands and let out a muffled scream.

She continued to sit there under the bridge for the next hour, silently crying until she’d run out of tears.

When it was time for her to return to school, she checked herself out in the camera of her phone. She patted gingerly over her bruise, wincing as she made sure that the makeup covering it remained intact.

Slowly, she made her way back to the school, getting there just in time for shop class. She takes her usual place beside Ethan, saying nothing as she gets straight to work.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks softly after several silent minutes.

“I’m fine.” She says. She knows he doesn’t believe her, but she doesn’t care.

“You know, if somethings bothering you, you can always talk to me.” He says giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

She had thought she was done crying, but tears seemed to be pooling in her eyes once more. She takes a deep breathe. Swallows. “I know.” She says, a lot shakier than she had planned.

“I’m here for you. Whenever you need me.”

She doesn’t say anything, simply giving him a stiff nod. She turns fully away from him, trying to surreptitiously wipe the tears away.

* * *

Lex had a few hours to herself before Ethan would bring Hannah back here. She looked around the trailer. It was a mess. Messier than usual after the previous night.

A half empty can of beer sat abandoned on the cardboard box coffee table. She grabbed it and finished it off before throwing it into the bin. She started clearing up the rest of the place. She knew that seeing anything left over from last night would only upset Hannah. Though there was nothing she could do about the dent in the wall cause by her shoulder smashing into it.

She was thankful that her mother wasn’t home. It was likely that she wouldn’t be home until late that night, or maybe, with luck, not until tomorrow.

It took her almost the entire time to clear up the trailer back to its usual messy standards. She then quickly put on her Toy-Zone vest to keep up the ruse of her being at work before flopping down on the stained couch.

It wasn’t much longer after this that Ethan opened the door, entering the trailer with Hannah in tow.

“Lexi.” Hannah said running over to her and giving her a hug.

“Hey, Banana, did you have fun with Ethan?”

She nodded, showing her the lollipop he’d bought her.

Lex turns to Ethan giving him a look. While she secretly loved the fact that he enjoyed getting Hannah stuff, she hated anyone spending money on them. It always felt like charity. She didn’t need anyone’s charity. She was able to provide for them just fine on her own. She didn’t need help.

He just shrugs and holds his hands up in mock defence. “Hey, Banana, do you mind going into your room for a bit? I wanna talk to Lex.” He said sitting down on the couch next to him.

Lex felt herself fill with dread as Hannah nodded and wandered off into their shared bedroom. Someone wanting to talk never meant good things.

He waited for the bedroom door to close before turning to Lex. “So, Hannah said something to me today.”

“Yeah?” She had no idea where this could be going. Hannah never said much.

“She told me about how you sometimes let her look through the window of the candy store after a bad night.” He began. “It made me really worried, especially after how you were acting at school. I want to make sure that you two are okay.”

“Hannah just had a nightmare and neither of us got much sleep.” She said, hoping that he bought the excuse.

“You don’t have to lie to me Lex.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.

Immediately she brushes it off and shuffles further away from him. “I’m not lying.”

“Well, your body language and tone of voice begs to differ.” He said, regaining the space between them. “I know you Lex, and I know when you’re lying. I know something’s been going on with you and that it’s been going on for a while.” He reaches out to touch her again.

She slaps his hand away and stands up. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Lex, I’m trying to help. I want to help you.” He says, standing up and taking a step towards her.

“I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help.” She walks away from him, breathing heavily, tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

“Lex.” He follows her, taking hold of her shoulder and spinning her around to face him.

Though his touch wasn’t harsh in the slightest she instinctually raised her arms to protect her face and head.

“Lex?” He was confused by her action. 

“Leave.” She said, realising what she’d done. The tears escape and start rolling down her cheeks. She doesn’t lower her arms, afraid that he’d see them.

“I’m not leaving.” He could see that she clearly needed help. He wasn’t about to leave his best friend in her hour of need.

“Please Ethan.” She said, her voice shaky. “Just leave.”

He looks at her for a long time, studying her. He knew she was crying. And he hated it. It was his fault she was crying, but he couldn’t help but think that maybe something else had contributed to her tears. She was always so tense when he touched her, even slightly. She was always so jumpy. He came to the conclusion that someone had hurt her. Hurt her badly.

He found that he felt burning anger towards that person, even though he didn’t know who they were. Someone had hurt her to the point that she didn’t want him around. That she was scared to talk to him. They’d been friends for years. She knew she could talk to him about anything.

“Lex, I…” He trailed off not sure what to say.

“Ethan, just go. I can’t deal with this right now.”

He nodded. Even though he didn’t want to he turned to leave. When he reaches the door, he turns back. 

She’d relaxed her defensive position and he could see the tears on her cheeks. She wiped them away hurriedly, accidentally rubbing off some of the makeup that had been covering her bruise.

He sees it and his concern for her is renewed. But he had to leave. She wouldn’t take his help right now. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I can see you’re hurt. Have been hurt. And I’m sorry.” With a sigh, he opens the door and leaves.

As soon as he leaves, she wished she hadn’t told him too. But she couldn’t go after him, that would just be pathetic. So, instead she took a few deep breaths, dried her eyes, and started making dinner for herself and Hannah.

“Gone?” Hannah asks sticking her head out of their bedroom.

“Yeah, he had to go home.” She says.

“No bye-bye.” She says, moving to sit down at the dismal table.

“I’m sorry, Banana. He was just in a bit of a hurry. He lost track of time.” Lex said. She hoped that Hannah wouldn’t hold a grudge against him for this.

“Never too hurry for bye-bye.” She said sniffling.

Lex quickly swoops in and gives her sister a hug. “I’m sorry. Hey, maybe if you stick your head out the door you might see him and can give him a wave?”

Hannah jumped out of her arms and rushes to the door, opening it wide and looking for Ethan in all directions. She spots him leaning against the fence that made up the boundary of the trailer park. She races out the door and heads straight for him.

“Hannah! Come back!” Lex called running after her.

Hannah soon reaches him and gives him a big hug. “No bye-bye.” She says, telling him off.

“Sorry, Banana Split.” He says hugging her back, spotted Lex halt in her running halfway over to him. He smiles at her before looking back to Hannah. “We can do bye-bye now.”

She nods, taking a small step back.

He gives her their traditional double fist-bump before giving her a hug. “Bye-bye Banana.”

“Bye-bye Et’.” She said. She couldn’t quite pronounce the ‘th’ sound, so just sort of stopped when she got up to it. He didn’t mind though, he thought it was cute.

“Go run back to your sister, now.” He said, breaking away from their hug. “She’ll take good care of you for me.”

She giggled, poking his nose before giving him a quick wave and running back to Lex.

He desperately hoped that whoever had hurt Lex, hadn’t hurt Hannah as well. Hannah was the sweetest and kindest kid he knew, and he couldn’t stand the thought of someone hurting her. Of someone hurting either of them. He cared about the Foster girls more then he’d ever admit.


	3. Fight For Me

She’d been avoiding Ethan all week. She hated that she was avoiding him. He was her only friend. The only person to give her the time of day, but she couldn’t be near him right now. She knew he was suspicious of what was going on with her. Of what her life was really liked.

She missed him. So much. Too much. 

He was such a good friend to her, and she was treating him like shit. Even though she hadn’t spoken to him in ages, he still was babysitting Hannah for her whenever she had to work. She honestly didn’t know where’d she’d be without him. And here she was, avoiding him, making them both miserable.

What the fuck was wrong with her.

She was so mad at herself. She hated herself even more than normal. She just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. 

It didn’t help that the entire time she’d been avoiding Ethan, things at home had gotten progressively worse. She’d wake up, if she’d managed to fall asleep, feeling incredibly sore, bruised and battered. She’d have to force herself out of bed to get Hannah to school and just to escape the threat of her mum for a few hours.

She was working more than she should, using the extra money she was earning to placate her mum and to go towards her and Hannah’s hopeful escape. She knew leaving Hatchetfield was a foolish dream. Especially for someone like her. But she was starting to get desperate, she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to survive living with her mother.

Even though she hated avoiding Ethan, school was probably the place she liked the most, despite not liking it at all. It was better than being yelled to at work and was far better than getting beaten at home.

She walked along the hallway trying to get to her next class, though found it hard to navigate her way through a crowd that had gathered. She instantly knew that there was a fight going on. One happened every so often and she avoided them as much as she could, them reminding her too much of her home life. She couldn’t, however, avoid this one as this particular hallway was the only way to get to her class.

Lex took a deep breath and began making her way through the crowd to get to the other side of the hall. She tried to ignore all the people jostling her and shouting at whoever was engaged in the fighting.

Just as she was about to make it out of the crowd the vice principal barged his way through.

“Okay, break it up!” He said pushing past people and going over to the people fighting.

Out of curiosity she turns to see who had been fighting. She first saw Bradley who was on the school’s football team. The vice principal was blocking the other participant, but when he moved, she was shocked to see Ethan glaring angrily at Bradley.

Ethan always avoided getting into situations that could lead to fights. He wasn’t the sort of guy to go seeking them out. Despite his tough bad boy image, he was kind-hearted and disliked physical fighting. Or any form of fighting for that matter.

As the crowd dispersed, she went right over to him, grabbing his jacket and dragging him over to a secluded corner. 

“What the hell were you doing?” She asks accusatorily. She properly faces him and sees that he was sporting a black eye. 

“So, now you care about me?” He says, wincing as he sits up straight against a row of lockers.

“Of course, I care. You got hurt!” She says, kneeling beside him, trying to see if he had been hit badly anywhere else without actually touching him.

“Well, I guess now you know how I feel.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I care about you a lot, Lex. It kills me seeing you hurt. And what’s worse is that you try to hide it, and don’t want me to help you. You won’t let me give you a hug to try and comfort you.”

She looks away from him, feeling ashamed. 

“Why do you think I was fighting Bradley?” He said.

“I don’t know why. It’s not like you at all to fight someone.” She said, avoiding eye contact with him.

“I fought him because he was talking all sorts of shit about you. I couldn’t stand hearing someone saying those things about you. I wanted to shut him up before you heard what he said.” He clenched his fist, recalling the memory. “I told him to shut up, but he wouldn’t. So, I hit him.” He wasn’t going to tell her the details of that conversation.

“You didn’t need to do that.” She said quietly.

“Yes, I did. I don’t want you to be hurt. I care too much about you, Lex.” He unclenches his fist and reaches out to take her hand.

This time she lets him, staring at their hands. “You shouldn’t care about me.” She whispers, glancing up to meet his gaze.

“Well, I do.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m not worth it.”

“Well, that’s a fucked-up way of thinking.” He said rather bluntly.

“You saying I’m fucked-up?” She said, snatching her hand to her chest.

“No.” He says quickly, moving closer to her. “I’m saying that you are worth it. You are always worth it. I’m saying I’d do anything for you, because I care about you.” He reaches out for her hand but she doesn’t let him take it this time.

“Don’t, Ethan.”

“Don’t what?”

“Just don’t.” She says. “Don’t make me think that you actually care about me so that you can rip the rug out from underneath me later. Everyone else in my life, apart from Hannah, has screwed me over and I think I’d break if you did too.” She knows she hasn’t exactly been fair to Ethan this past week, but if he betrayed her, she didn’t think she’d be able to survive.

“Listen to me. Look at me.” He cups her cheek, tilting her head up so that they were looking directly into each other’s eyes. She doesn’t pull away. “What I’m saying is the truth. I’d do anything for you, Lex. I…” He pauses. Swallows. Then continues. “I really, really like you. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He shuffles a little closer to her and to his surprise she still doesn’t move away. With his free hand he tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

She looks at him intently, studying him. She knows Ethan and knows that he’s a terrible liar. But she knows that what he’s saying to her can’t possibly be true. Why would he say these things to her?

Slowly she reaches up and takes the hand that had been cupping her cheek. She removes it, though holds the hand in her lap. “Ethan. I can’t. I can’t be your girlfriend if that’s what you want.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“But you want us to have a relationship.” She let go of his hand and stood up. “I don’t know how we could continue our friendship if you want us to be dating and I can’t.”

“We’ve been friends for years. We can still be friends now.” He said, reaching out to her as she turns to walk away.

“I’ve got to go, Ethan.” She leaves, hurrying to the class that she’s now significantly late for. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a relationship with him. She did. She really did. But she couldn’t. It was too big a commitment. She was too emotionally unstable for that sort of thing. Plus, she had Hannah to think about. Hannah was her priority and always would be. She couldn’t afford something that would distract her away from her sister.

Lex found that she couldn’t focus on the class she’d just snuck into. Her mind was muddled with thoughts of Ethan. She was awash with emotions. She hated that she’d basically ended their friendship. She was the worst person in the world.

When the bell rung, she left the classroom as fast as she could. She decided to skip last period so that she wouldn’t have to see Ethan and went straight out the front gates of the school. She’d just meander around town until she needed to get to work.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Ethan was supposed to watch Hannah for her. He’d still done so when she was avoiding him, but would he still do that now?

She whips out her phone and opens it to their messages. He’d texted her a few times over that past week, but she’d ignored them all. She felt bad reading through them now.

> Is something wrong? Are you okay? 

> Lex? 

> Did I do something? 

> If I did, I’m sorry. 

> I’m sorry. Please just talk to me. 

> Please text me back. I’m really worried about you. 

She looks away from the string of unanswered texts. She takes a few deep breaths before looking back down at her phone typing out a message to him.

> I just need to know if you’re still gonna watch Hannah today. It’s fine if you don’t want to anymore, but I need to know. 

She reads through the text fifty times before finally hitting send. She’d only just turned off her phone and put it back in her pocket when she hears Ethan’s reply come through.

> Course I’m still gonna watch her. Unless you don’t want me to. 

She sighs in relief. She didn’t know what she would’ve done had he no longer wanted to babysit Hannah.

> I have nothing against you watching her. Even if I did, she likes you too much. 

It was true, Hannah absolutely adored Ethan. She was always more talkative after she’d spent time with him.

Lex put her phone away and headed inside the Hatchetfield mall. She hated her job. She was either doing dull, mindless stocking or dealing with snotty customers. She wished she could quit, but she couldn’t afford to. She needed the money too much. She’d tried to get hired in other places, but no one wanted to work with her. It appeared that the reputation her mother had procured followed her wherever she went. Everyone seemed to know where she came from the moment that she stepped through the doors. No one wanted to hire trailer trash.

It sucked being at school all day, then Toy-Zone all afternoon and evening only to go home and get a beating for not having cleaned the trailer, or making dinner, or paying enough rent. Today was no exception. Her mother was yelling at her the moment she opened the door. Luckily Hannah was still with Ethan.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Pamela yelled.

“Work.” Lex replied walking deeper into the trailer, hoping she could get into her room and escape a beating.

“You’re too much of a lazy slob to work.”

She ignored her and kept walking. She was about to turn the doorknob and enter the safest part of the trailer when she was shoved from behind, smacking face-first into the door.

“Look at me when I speak to you!” Her mother yelled, forcefully turning Lex around. “If you were working then where’s my money?”

“I don’t get paid until tomorrow.” She says, only to get slapped across the face.

“Aren’t you a lying little bitch?” 

“I’m sorry, I’ll get the money to you tomorrow.”

Pamela grabs her by the collar of her shirt and smashes the back of her head into the door. “You’ll give me the money now!”

“I don’t have it.” She said desperately. “I’ll have it tomorrow, I swear.” Her vision had gone slightly spotty from having hit her head so hard.

“Liar!” She through Lex to the side, her forehead to connect with the doorframe causing a gash to appear across her eyebrow.

“I don’t have your fucking money.” She said, stumbling away, clutching at her head.

“Don’t you talk back to me.” Pamela grabbed her by the arm and shoved her forwards.

Lex collided with the table, it knocking the air from her lungs. She clutches her middle, gasping for air. She tries to move further away from her mother but isn’t fast enough and is flung down onto the floor.

“You better have to money tomorrow or don’t bother showing your face here.” Her mother spat down at her, giving her a kick to the ribs for good measure before leaving the trailer.

Lex lay there on the ground. She was in too much pain to move just yet. Her head was throbbing, having taken the worst of the beating. She was just glad that Hannah was still with Ethan, who knows what would have happened had she been there.

She knew she was going to have to get up and clean herself up before they got back. With a groan, she reluctantly got to her feet. She wobbled a little, having grown dizzy. Maybe she’d hit her head harder than she thought.

She stumbles her way into the pathetic excuse for a bathroom and checks herself out in the mirror. Blood was trickling out of the gash above her eyebrow. She grabs a tissue, wets it, and proceeds to wipe the blood off of her face, though more pulls to replace it.

Blood also oozed its way out of her nose from when her face had been smashed into the door. She cleaned off the blood before gingerly touching her nose. It was definitely sore. She hoped that it wasn’t broken.

She was still feeling dizzy when she heard the door open and Hannah and Ethan entered the trailer. She made her way out to them, doing her best to act as if nothing had happened.

“Hey Banana.” She said, giving Hannah a hug. “Did you have fun with Ethan?”

She nods before scampering off into their bedroom.

Lex moves her attention over to Ethan. “Thanks for watching her.” She says, trying to ignore the blackspots that continued to plague her vision.

“It’s no trouble. You know I like getting to hang out with her.” He says, taking a tentative step towards her. 

“Yeah.” She nods and instantly regrets it.

“I like hanging out with you too.” He says.

“Can we not do this now.” She says bringing a hand up to her head. The throbbing was getting worse. She wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to stand.

“Lex, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She grips onto the couch in an attempt to remain upright.

“You’re head’s bleeding.” He points out, moving to be directly next to her.

“I said I’m…” Her voice faulters as blackness consumes her.

“Lex!”


	4. Freeze Your Brain

There was something cold being pressed to her face. It felt nice, cutting through the throbbing of her head. She wanted to just bury her face in a bucket of ice and be rid of the pain.

As she becomes more aware of her surroundings the sounds of crying came to her. She recognises it and immediately feels panicked. It was Hannah’s crying. What had happened to her? Was she okay? She needed to get to her and protect her.

She tries to sit up on what she realises is the couch in the trailer but is gently pushed back down. She struggles against the force holding her back from getting to her sister. 

“Lex, you gotta lie down.” Ethan said.

She realised it was him pushing her down. “Hannah.” She said, hoping he might let her go.

“Lexi!” Hannah cried. 

Suddenly Hannah is lying on top of her, the two hugged on to each other tightly. Lex kisses the side of Hannah’s head.

“You okay, Banana?” She asked.

She nods, continuing to cry as she buries her head into Lex’s shoulder.

Lex turns to Ethan, who is sitting next to her legs. “What happened?” She was half-scared of the answer, knowing that whatever had happened had caused Hannah to freak out.

“You blacked out.” He said, his face showing his clear concern for her.

“Why’s Hannah crying?”

“Oh, uh, when you blacked out, I yelled, and she came and saw you all collapsed and just started panicking. She wasn’t actually hurt or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.” He explains. If he was being honest, he had been panicking a bit as well. It had all happened so quickly. One second Lex was standing talking to him, the next he had to run and catch her before she hit the floor and hurt herself further. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Fine.” She said.

“Yeah, last time you said that you blacked out. So, how are you really feeling?” He wasn’t going to take any bullshit this time. He wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on with her.

“In pain.” She says quietly, still reluctant to admit how she felt. She knew Ethan only wanted to help. She had just never received help before.

He gets off the couch and kneels down besides where her head lay on the cushions. “Can you tell me where your pain is?” He asked gently.

“My head.” That was where most of her pain stemmed from. She had a bit of pain in her side where she was kicked, but very little in comparison with her head, which had taken the brunt of the beating.

“Anywhere specific? Or just all of it? I know you’ve got that cut above your eye, and your nose is all bruised.” He said.

“It’s throbbing everywhere.” She said. “But the cut, my nose and the back of my head are the worst.”

“The back of your head?” He hadn’t known she’d been hurt there. He hadn’t seen anything. He reaches towards her head though freezes before he touches her, glancing at her for permission.

After watching him for several long seconds she nods ever so slightly.

He carefully lifts her head up an inch with one hand, trying to see if there was anything there. When he didn’t see any blood or anything assimilating to an injury, he uses his other hand to carefully skate across her head. He fingers gliding through her hair, not quite sure what he was looking for. When he touches a certain spot, Lex inhales a sharp breath of pain.

“Sorry.” He says.

“It’s okay.” She replies. “You’re trying to help.” She kept telling herself that. He was helping. Everything was okay. He wasn’t going to hurt her on purpose. This was Ethan. She knew Ethan. He wouldn’t hurt anyone. But he had been in that fight with Bradley. He didn’t like fighting though, she knew this. He had said he was fighting to defend her. She didn’t need that though; she could take care of herself. She didn’t need help.

Ethan sat back, having finished his inspection. “I’m no doctor, but you probably shouldn’t go to school or work tomorrow.” He said. The fact that Lex’s injuries had caused her to briefly black out didn’t seem like an overly good sign to him, and he knew she shouldn’t strain herself or anything. He knew that sort of thing was bad for head injuries.

“I have to go.” She said, not even considering the option of staying in the trailer all day.

“You don’t have to; you’re allowed a day off to recover.”

“You don’t understand, Ethan. I have to go tomorrow.” If she didn’t go to school then she ran the risk of interacting with her mother more than she’d like, and if she didn’t go to work she wouldn’t get her paycheque and then there’d be hell to pay.

“Tell me what I don’t understand.” 

“I can’t.” She couldn’t tell him what her life was really like. If he knew then he’d probably just leave. They weren’t even in a relationship, but she felt that if she didn’t have him in her life she might just fall apart. She needed to keep it together for Hannah.

“Why not?” He asked.

Hannah had stopped crying and turned her head to face Lex. “Mama get you?” She asked softly her fingers tracing Lex’s face.

“Yeah, she got me.” She replies just as softly, hoping that Ethan didn’t hear. 

“Mama get me?” She asked, face full of fear.

“No. I’m not gonna let her get near you.” She says, kissing Hannah’s forehead. She would protect Hannah with her life. She wasn’t about to let anything happen to her sister.

“Lex.” Ethan said, rather seriously as he slowly realised what had happened. “Did your mum do this to you?”

She doesn’t say anything.

“Did she hurt you? Has she been the one hurting you this whole time?” His voice held an edge of anger to it. Anger towards Pamela for having done this to Lex. For a while he had been slowly coming to the realisation that he was most definitely in love with Lex and he absolutely hated just the idea of someone hurting her. It made him feel sick knowing that someone had been hurting her for who knew how long and that that someone was her own mother. “Tell me, Lex, did she do this to you?”

She silently looks at him for a long moment before giving a barely perceptible nod.

“Right.” He can feel the anger towards Lex’s mum course through him. He stands up from where he was crouched and starts marching towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” She asked. She had been scared of this sort of thing happening. That as soon as he knew about how she was treated that he’d want to leave. That he wouldn’t want to hang around her anymore because she was too weak.

“I’m gonna find your mum and give her a piece of my mind.”

That answer hadn’t been what Lex was expecting. “What?” 

He turns around to face her and she can see fury burning in the back of his eyes. “I’m gonna hunt down your mum and give her some payback for hurting you.” His hands were clenched in fists by his sides. He had never liked Lex’s mum but now that he knew she was abusive he absolutely hated her. 

“No, don’t.” She didn’t know what sort of trouble she’d be in if Ethan confronted her mum. She couldn’t imagine the beating she’d get. Pamela might even go after Hannah, which she couldn’t let happen. Lex needed to protect her sister at all costs.

He ignores her and continues his walk towards the trailer’s front door. He stopped as soon as he placed his hand on the knob. A hand had wrapped itself around his free one. He turns and sees that it’s Hannah, looking up at him with wide scared eyes.

She shakes her head. She knows as well as Lex that the repercussions of whatever he did to their mum would be bad.

“I can’t let your mum hurt you or your sister, Hannah.” He said. He hoped that nothing bad had happened to the little girl. She was so small and sweet he couldn’t imagine why anyone would hurt her. He couldn’t even imagine why Pamela would hurt Lex either. Lex was probably the best person he knew.

“Stay.” She said.

He could tell there was more meaning to what she was saying then what the single word represented. He knew she didn’t know enough words to tell him why he should stay rather than go, but she didn’t need those words. He understood her. She was trying to tell him that going would do more damage than staying would.

He sighed and looked into her pleading eyes. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

Hannah only looked slightly less scared as he spoke. She gave him a nod before going back and cuddling up with her sister.

Lex looked a lot more relieved that he wasn’t going to try hunt down her mum. 

He went back over to her and cautiously brushed a few stray hairs from her forehead. “Is there anything I can get you or do for you?” He asked.

“No, I’m good, thanks.” She ssid, wrapping her arms back around Hannah.

* * *

Her head was killing her as she slouched behind the counter at Toy-Zone. Part of her had wished she’d listened to Ethan and taken the day off, but she knew things would be worse for her if she didn’t go home with her paycheque. 

Ethan had been watching her like a hawk the entirety of the school day. By the end of the day, it was starting to get on her last nerves. She’d gone to school with a concussion before and she’d been fine. She didn’t need him following her around closely wherever she went just in case she blacked out again.

She knew she was fine though, so struggled through school with a terrible headache. The headache had only worsened as her shift dragged on. She was working closing so she’d be home late and would be last to leave the store. She was never a fan of the closing shift. She didn’t mind spending more time away from the trailer, but it was locking up the dark and eerie store that creeped her out. Shadows of a variety of toys sometimes made it look like there was someone else in there with her. And when she locked the front door, her back would be to the rest of the mall, where a lot of dodgy scumbags lurked after hours. A few of said scumbags had tried to feel her up on more than one occasion.

One by one her co-workers left out the back way, leaving her alone in the shop proper. With a sigh she begins the process of closing the shop. She flipped over the closed sign and begins sweeping the floor. She was always surprised by the amount of dirt that customers trekked in throughout the day.

Once she was done with the floors, she moved over to the register. She counted out the cash before locking it away in the safe which was kept in the backroom, before locking that door as she left. She looked around the deserted store before grabbing her backpack and paycheque. She went to the front door, switching off the lights as she exited. She looks around the eerily quiet mall. There were no signs of life, so she turned her back to it and quickly locked up Toy-Zone before walking out onto the street.   
It was drizzling outside, so she pulled up the hood of her jacket, shoved her hands deep into her pockets and began walking towards the trailer park. She’d have to make a quick detour past Ethan’s house to pick up Hannah.

What she had failed to notice was that there was a group of scumbags loitering just outside the mall, smoking their cigarettes. Due to the sound of rain hitting the pavement paired with her hood covering her ears, she hadn’t heard them start to follow her. She was so focused on getting Hannah as quickly as possible that she nearly had a heart attack when one of them grabbed her shoulder.

She turned around, heart pounding, to find three guys in their twenties leering at her.

“Where’re you going in such a hurry, sweetheart?” The one that had grabbed her said.

She pulled away from him turning around and starting to run. She didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with these guys. Her head was incredibly painful, and she just needed to get Hannah and get home before her mum got angry about having to wait even longer for the money.

“Don’t run from us, darlin’.” Another one called.

She could tell that they were following her. She’d need to shake them off before she reached Ethan’s house. She ran as fast as she could, ducking down side streets. There were three of them, however, and they were gaining on her.

It didn’t matter though, because her knowledge of the alleyways of Hatchetfield was limited and she ran into a dead-end road. She turns around as the scumbags slowed their pace, closing in on her. They were grinning, knowing that she had no way of escape.

She had to think fast. Her eyes darted around the alley, trying to spot a way of escape.

One of the scumbags, the one that had grabbed her before, reached out to touch her once again, his hand making a beeline for her chest.

Before he could make contact, she kicked him in the balls, pushing her way past them all and sprinting for the exit. As she rounded the corner, she looked over her shoulder and they all seemed to have become distracted by their friend. She hardly let herself breathe a sigh of relief, sprinting the rest of the way to Ethan’s house.

Before she knocked on his door, she allowed herself a few seconds to regain her breath. She didn’t want him to know that anything had happened. Nothing had actually happened, just some pricks harassing her, nothing that hadn’t happened before.

She checks her reflection in her phone camera before ringing the doorbell and made sure that she smiled widely when she saw Hannah. “Hey Banana.” She said, pulling her sister into a hug. “Did you have a good day?”

Hannah didn’t give any sort of response.

“Something happened at school to upset her.” Ethan answered for her. Hannah hadn’t told him what had happened, but he knew whatever it was had caused her to have a bad day. “But we had fun together, right Split?” He says, ruffling her hair.

She gives a stiff nod.

“Thanks again for watching her.” Lex said, picking up her sister and sitting her on her hip. Hannah snuggled right into her.

“It was no problem. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She nods. “Yeah, see you then.” She gives him a soft smile. “Okay, let’s go home, Banana.” She said, giving Ethan a quick wave before heading towards the trailer park.

“Mama get you?” She asked.

“She’s not gonna get either of us tonight. I got paid so she’s gonna be too distracted by the money to get us.” Lex said. She hated that she always had to give any money she earnt to her mum, but it also meant a night of reprieve from the onslaught of abuse. So long as her mum didn’t have to wait too long.

Pamela was waiting outside the trailer for them, smoking a cigarette. “What took you so long?”

“I had closing shift.” Lex said, hoping it was enough to avoid a beating. “I got paid.” She holds out the cheque to her, making sure to keep Hannah as far away as possible.

Pamela stubs out the cigarette before stepping into the drizzle and snatching the paper from Lex’s hand. She inspects it, seeing how much money had been made. She grunts before stepping inside of the trailer.

Lex takes that to mean that she’d made enough to satisfy her mother, at least for a little while. She’d hopefully get a full night of sleep that night.


	5. Big Fun

Lex was trying to make the most of the reprieve from beatings she was getting. Her mum seemed to be satisfied with the amount of money and the two of them had hardly seen each other since. This wasn’t unusual. Every time Lex got a paycheque her mum would take it and use a good chunk of the money to go bar hopping for as long as she could.

It was only a matter of time until the money ran out and the abuse resumed. Lex always secretly hoped that her mum just wouldn’t come home when she went off on one of her trips. It would certainly make things a lot easier for her and Hannah. There had been one time that her mum had been absent for an entire month, and she had gotten so excited that she was gone for good. That was until Pamela came home, drunker then ever and beat the shit out of an unsuspecting Lex.

It was always worse when Pamela went after Hannah. She didn’t normally, as Lex managed to keep her hidden, but sometimes Hannah would be out in the open and become the prime target. Lex never let anything overtly bad happen to her little sister, but sometimes Pamela was able to get a few hits in before Lex could stop her.

But right now, their mum wasn’t there, and she was going to take the opportunity to get a good night’s sleep. She was always too scared to sleep properly when her mum was around.

She tucked Hannah into bed before going out into the trailer’s main room and making herself comfortable on the moth-eaten couch. She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through her social medias. 

She enjoys the peace and quiet. Her mum out at some bar and her sister safely asleep in the next room. 

Her phone pings with a Facebook notification. She clicks on the icon and find that she’s been invited to an event that night. She sees that Ethan isn’t hosting so it was most likely someone just adding everyone in their year to pass off as cool. It was hosted by one of the guys on the basketball team. Someone not cool enough to pull off an exclusive party, but cool enough to be able to invite the football team and undoubtedly a number of cheerleaders.

It wasn’t the sort of party Lex would find herself attending. She didn’t do parties. Even if they were her scene, she always had Hannah to take care of. Always had to watch out for their mum.

It was only the fourth day of her mums bar hopping binge, and she was always gone for at least a week, so Lex felt fairly confident that she could leave Hannah in the trailer and she’d be safe. So long as Hannah stayed asleep, she’d be fine. Perhaps Lex could go to this party. 

There’d likely be some amount of free alcohol there and maybe she’d be able to steal a bottle of something to distract her mum when she came back. She nods to herself. Yeah, she could go to the party, grab some booze and then come straight back before Hannah noticed that she was gone. She wouldn’t hang around. Wouldn’t drink or smoke. Just there and back without anyone noticing her.

She gets up from the couch and goes into the tiny bedroom she shares with Hannah. Her sister was soundly asleep curled up in their bed. 

Lex gets changed into something more appropriate for a party and kisses the top of Hannah’s head before climbing out of the window. She could use the front door but she needed to make sure that the window was propped open so she could get back in should her mother unexpectedly come home. She had gone out like this a few times before, though not necessarily to a party, and leaving the window open told Hannah that she was okay and that she’d be home soon.

Lex glanced back, making sure that Hannah was still asleep before beginning the journey to the address of the party. The address was listed as Craig Hapsburg’s house though it had been Ian O’Connell who had created the event. Both of them were on the basketball team and had presumably come up with the idea of a party together. She knew that there were only a handful of braincells between them.

The house wasn’t overly far away, so it didn’t take her long to walk the distance, though by the time she arrived the party was in full swing. She could hear the music from down the street and would be surprised if they hadn’t already gotten noise complaints from the neighbours. Though it was Hatchetfield, so she doubted that the cops would actually do anything about it.

Just to be safe she checked the street to make sure no cops were there before entering the house. 

The music was even louder inside, so much so that she could barely make out her own thoughts above the ruckus. The place was absolutely crowded. Everyone talking loudly to be heard over the music, taking sips from plastic cups full of who knew what sort of alcoholic beverage.

She pushed her way further into the house, only getting a few glances here and there as she made her way into the main living area of the place. It wasn’t just the atmosphere of these parties that she didn’t particularly like, it was also the fact that the houses they were always hosted at where at minimum three times the size of the trailer she called home.

After searching around for a minute or two she found a table that was hosting several bottles of various alcoholic drinks. She spies one that was still mostly full, containing vodka. She snatches it up before starting to make her retreat.

“Watcha doing with that bottle, princess?” A male voice said in her ear.

She nearly jumped out of skin whipping around to face the boy who had spoken, it being Bradley from the football team.

“You’d wanna be careful who sees you with that. There are already rumours about you coming to school drunk, it wouldn’t be good for you to confirm them.” His words were slightly slurred, and his breath reeked of alcohol. He reaches out and tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

She pushes his hand away. “It’s not for me.” She turns around, starting to walk away, but he grabs her arm.

“Is it for that boyfriend of yours?” He asks, squeezing her arm rather tightly.

“Leave me alone.” She rips her arm away and moves a bit faster towards the exit, hoping that Bradley would lose her in the crowd.

“Where’re you going, princess?” He said, managing to keep up with her.

“None of your fucking business.” She was starting to regret coming.

“Aw, come on, princess, don’t talk like that.” His hand makes its way to her shoulder. “Lighten up a bit. Let me go get you a drink.”

She shrugs him off her shoulder. “Yeah, go get me a drink.”

He smiles at her. “Good girl, princess. Stay here and I’ll be right back.” He heads back int the direction of the drinks table.

As soon as his back was turns and she makes her escape. She moves as quickly as she could through the crowd, soon getting out into the cool night air. She doesn’t waste any time and runs straight back to the trailer.

She leans against the outer wall, catching her breath. She unscrews the cap of the vodka bottle she was still holding taking a swig and wincing as the liquid burned its way down her throat. Going to that party had definitely been a mistake, but it could’ve been worse.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, taking a few more deep breaths. When she stops panting, she turns to climb back inside the trailer.

“Don’t tell me you were at that party.”

She jumped at hearing Ethan’s voice. She hadn’t seen anyone enter the trailer park and had no idea why he would be there at such a late hour. “What does it matter if I was?” She asks, turning around to face him.

He shrugs. “I didn’t think it was the sort of thing you’d want to go to.”

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d go and score free booze to satisfy my mum.” She said holding up the vodka. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to check on you, make sure you were all right.” He took a few steps towards her.

“I can take care of myself, Ethan, you don’t have to ‘check on me’.” She turns away to climb into the window.

“I’m not so sure you can.”

She whips back around. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You let your mum walk all over you. You don’t defend yourself. You give her all your money and as a thank you she beats you up. And you let that happen. You don’t do anything to stop it.”

“Shut up!” She said, angry and hurt tears building in her eyes. “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know it’s not your fault that she abuses you, but you’ve gotta stand up to her Lex.” He said, reaching out to her, trying to make her feel better.

She slaps away his hand before it has a chance to touch her. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even talk to me right now.” She glared daggers at him.

“I want to help you.” He said, starting to sound slightly desperate as he slowly realised he had said the wrong thing.

“I don’t need your help.” She turns away once more and climbs in through the trailer’s window uninterrupted. 

“Please Lex.” He came right up to the window, looking in at her. “I want you to be safe. And I want to help.”

“I don’t need your help, and I don’t want it. How many times do I have to say that for it to get through your thick skull?” She whispered harshly, aware that Hannah was asleep only a few feet away. “Just fuck off already.”

“If you don’t need my help, why are you always asking me to babysit Hannah?” He countered. He wasn’t as careful as keeping the volume of his voice low.

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is, okay?” She was fed up with this conversation. She wanted him to leave her alone. She needed time to herself to think.

“Lexi?” Hannah had awoken and was sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

“Go back to sleep, Banana, it’s late.” Lex said turning away from Ethan and the window and tucking Hannah back down under her blanket.

She looked over at the window and pointed. “Et’.” She said and waved happily.

“Hey, Banana Split.” He waved back, putting on a smile for her.

She looks up at Lex confused. “Why?” She asks.

“Why what?”

“Why?” She says again, pointing at Ethan.

“I still don’t understand, Hannah. Can you use more words?” Lex asked. She normally understood her sister, but there were times where she couldn’t figure out the meaning.

“Out.”

“Why is he outside?” She asked in clarification, thinking she may have figured out what Hannah was trying to say.

She nods, proving that Lex was correct.

“Because he’s going home now.” She gives him a look telling him that he better be out of there soon or she’d be even angrier at him then she already was. “Go and say bye-bye.” She lifts Hannah out of bed and sets her on the floor.

She wonders over to the window. “Bye-bye, Et’.” She says, giving him a double fist bump.

“Bye-bye Banana. Go back to bed now, it’s way too late for you to be up.” He says.

She nods, yawns, and makes her way back over to bed where Lex tucks her back in.

Lex kisses the top of Hannah’s head before turning back to Ethan. “Goodbye, Ethan.”

“Yeah, bye Lex.” He said before disappearing from the window, making his way out of the trailer park.

She slumped down on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed. She sighs and buries her face in her hands. Had she just ended her friendship with Ethan for good? She knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her with what he’d said, but he had. He didn’t understand why she never defended herself against her mother. Why she never stood up to the woman. She was trying to keep Hannah safe and if she fought back against her mum then who knew what would happen to the little girl. 

Just speaking to Pamela could leave Lex black and blue. She didn’t want that happening to Hannah. Lex had learnt that it was better to just take the beatings. It was less pain for her and less pain for Hannah and that’s what mattered.


	6. Dead Girl Walking

“You fucking bitch!” Pamela yelled. “You think you can just give me your fucking leftovers?” She waved the bottle of vodka in front of Lex’s face.

She had left the bottle out for her mum to find, not knowing how pissed she’d get at the fact that a few sips had been taken from it. “I’m sorry, I just thought…”

Pamela cut her off. “Oh, you just thought, did you?” She said in a mocking tone. “Well next time you should get a few braincells before you start thinking. Here’s what I think of your thoughts.” At that, she swung the bottle, smashing it into the side of Lex’s head.

Glass and vodka flew everywhere. Lex hadn’t had time to raise her arms to protect herself, so her head felt the full force. Glass shards cut into her scalp, the alcohol causing it to sting intensely. She cried out in pain.

“Oh, does that hurt?” Panela said, once again mocking her. “Fucking cry baby. I’ll give you something to cry about.” She shoves the broken end of the bottle as hard as she can into Lex’s shoulder. She takes it out and repeats the action several more times.

She yells out in pain. Remnants of vodka drip into the wound, causing it to be all the more painful. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t fight back. She just closed her eyes and waited for it to be over.

Pamela continued stabbing her with the bottle end, taking a break to kick her every now and then. After a few minutes she stopped. “This isn’t bad enough for you.” She said.

Lex looked at her, both confused and concerned.

She grabs her harshly by the arm and drags her over to Lex and Hannah’s room, kicking the door open, revealing Hannah curled up on the bed, looking absolutely terrified.

Lex’s eyes widened in horror. No, not Hannah. She couldn’t let Pamela hurt Hannah.

Pamela shoves the broken bottle into Lex’s hand. “Hit her or I’ll kill her.” She pulls a swiss army knife out of her pocket and waves it in front of Lex’s face.

“What?” She said shakily.

“You heard me.” She shoves Lex forwards towards Hannah.

She wasn’t about to hurt Hannah, but she couldn’t let Pamela hurt her either. “No.”

“It wasn’t a question. Do it or I’ll kill her.”

A fire lit itself inside of Lex. She turned and faced her mother. “No.” She said, stronger this time. “I’m not your fucking puppet.”

“The fuck you say to me?” Pamela slashes at her with the knife.

Lex blocks the blow with her arm, leaving her with a nasty gash. She doesn’t let it stop her driving the broken bottle into Pamela’s chest. She then shoves her mum outside of the room and slammed the door shut. She braces herself against the door, preventing it from opening.

“You bitch!” Pamela yelled from the other side. “Just you wait ‘til I get my hands on you!”

“Hannah, drag the bed over here.” Lex instructs, standing her ground as her mum rams into the door.

Hannah remains frozen, tears of terror streaking down her cheeks.

“Please Hannah, I need you to do it now, it’s really important.” She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to hold their mother off.

Slowly, Hannah stood up and pulled the bed over to where Lex was standing.

She drags the bed the rest of the way across the door and sits down on it, scooping Hannah up onto her lap. Hannah clung onto her, shaking as tears continued to stream down her face.

Lex held on to her sister as tightly as she could, ignoring the pain in her shoulder, arm and head. “It’s okay, Banana, I’m not gonna let her hurt you.”

There was a pause in the barrage against the door, though Lex didn’t make any moves, knowing that her mum was still nearby. She wasn’t surprised when it started up again, but what did surprise her was that a long kitchen knife was making its way between the slats of the thin wooden door.

“I’m gonna kill the both of you!” Pamela yelled.

Lex didn’t know how long the door would hold. She had to get Hannah out of the trailer before it gave way. She jumps off the bed, grabbing her backpack and shoving as much of their things into it as she could. She grabbed her secret stash of emergency money as well as clothes and some of Hannah’s toys. She knew it wouldn’t be enough, but she didn’t have the luxury of time or a bigger bag. 

She wasn’t able to do the zipper up all the way, but it would have to do. She opened up the window and threw the bag out onto the patchy grass below as the cool night air flooded in. 

“We’ve gotta get out of here, Banana.” She said quietly to Hannah, not wanting their mum to hear. She takes Hannah’s hand and guides her over to the window. She climbs out first and beckons her sister closer. “You gotta climb out and I’ll catch you, okay?”

Hannah wrapped her arms around herself, looking even more scared than she had before.

“We have to go now. Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.” Lex held out her arms, ready to help her.

Hesitantly, Hannah approached the window. She looked at the ground below before focusing her gaze on Lex, who gave her an encouraging smile. She leant out of the window, grabbing onto Lex who pulled her out the rest of the way.

Still carrying Hannah, Lex swung her backpack over her shoulder and began running. She didn’t know where they were going to go but knew that had to get far away as fast as possible. 

After running for a few minutes, she realised that she had started down the well-trodden path to Ethan’s house. She didn’t know if he’d let her in after what had happened the other night. But it wasn’t like she had any other ideas of where to go, so she kept going.

She’d hardly seen Ethan since their fight. She found that she missed him even more than she had before. She had been so angry with him and with herself. Right now, she knew that she needed him. He was the only person she knew who had ever been willing to help her. She just hoped he was still willing. Even if he didn’t want to be around her, she prayed that he would at least take care of Hannah for her while she sorted something out for them.

Lex didn’t want to go back to the trailer. It wasn’t safe for Hannah there anymore, at least for a little while. Hopefully Pamela would calm down from her murderous rampage and they’d be able to go back and at least collect the rest of their stuff.

She hesitated when she at last reached Ethan’s front door. She stared at it, feeling a strange mixture of dread, longing and fear. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell before taking a few steps away. She hadn’t put Hannah down the entire time and by this point her arms where aching and she knew her wounds were still bleeding.

Ethan was rather surprised to see Lex and Hannah when he opened the door.

“I need your help.” She said, surprised at how haggard she sounded.

It takes him a few seconds to process what was going on, before he nodded. “Yeah, okay, come in.” He stepped aside allowing them entrance.

“I know you’re probably mad at me or whatever, but can you at least put that aside and let Hannah stay here. I can sort something else out for myself, but I need to know that she’s safe.”

“Don’t be stupid, Lex, you can both stay here.” His parents were away for the weekend, so he knew that there was room for them all. 

“Et’?” Hannah says, looking up from where she had her face pressed into Lex’s shoulder. When she sees him, she reaches out and he takes her into his arms.

Lex sags as the weight is lifted off of her. Adrenalin was starting to finish running its course through her and she was now starting to feel the extent of the damage that her mother had inflicted upon her.

“Why’re you wet, Banana?” Ethan asks, flicking on the hall light to get a look at her. It’s then that he notices patches of blood on Hannah’s clothes. “She’s covered in blood, Lex.” He said looking up at her, concerned.

“It’s mine, don’t worry.” She said, trying to pick out pieces of glass from her hair.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’ll explain everything.” She was being honest with him, she owed him that much at least. “But first, Hannah needs to get to bed.” It was past Hannah’s bedtime and Lex didn’t want her hearing any of what she was going to tell Ethan.

He nods and takes the backpack from Lex. “Let’s get you to bed, Banana.” He started walking upstairs to his bedroom, hearing Lex follow behind him. He was very much concerned for her, but knew that Hannah was Lex’s priority and that she wouldn’t accept help unless she knew that her sister was safe and taken care of. He gets Hannah into her pyjamas before tucking her into his bed, leaving her there to fall asleep. He then takes Lex into the bathroom, switching on the bright overhead light. “What’s the damage?” He asked her.

If she was being honest, she didn’t entirely know the extent of the damage, only that it was rather painful. Slowly and carefully, she takes off her shirt, leaving her standing there in her bra and jeans.

“Jesus, Lex.” He said at seeing how bloody and shredded her shoulder was. “What did she do to you?”

“Glass bottle to the head.” She said gesturing to where the bottle had made contact. “Used the broken end on my shoulder. Got my arm with a pocketknife.” She spoke casually, trying to hold back all the pain she felt and all the tears she wanted to cry.

“Right.” He said, taking it all in. “Right, okay. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He went over to the medicine cabinet, pulling out disinfectant and a variety of Band-Aids and bandages.

While he gathers supplies, she continues at picking glass shards from her hair.

“How much glass is in your hair?” He asks when he spots her.

“No idea.” She said.

“Okay, well, let’s start there first.” He runs out into the other room and grabs a chair. He puts it down so that the back is up against the sink. “Sit.” He instructs.

She does so.

He grabs a comb from a draw and carefully gathers her hair so that it fell into the basin. He begins meticulously combing through it, extracting the glass. He knew that her shoulder needed attention, but he didn’t want to risk any glass falling into it. “What was in the bottle?” He asks, noticing that her hair was rather sticky.

“Vodka.”

He pauses, remembering the last time they had spoken. “The vodka you got from that party?”

“Yeah. Turns out mum doesn’t want second-hand booze.” She tries to say it casually but hears her voice resonated her being on the verge of breaking down in tears.

“So, your mum did all this because you gave her an open bottle of vodka?” He asked, resuming his combing. “That’s fucked up.”

“That’s my mum for you.” She shrugs, and immediately regrets the movement.

He doesn’t say anything. 

Once he’s finished getting out all the glass, he rinses the alcohol from her hair. 

“Do you have any cuts on your head?” 

“Yeah, pretty sure.” She helps him find the multitude of small cuts on the side of her head where the bottle had made impact. They had stopped bleeding and Ethan rinsing her hair had gotten rid of any excess blood, so he decided to leave them be.

“Okay, time for your shoulder.” He said. He saw that it was still oozing blood, though not as much as he could tell it had been prior. He grabbed a cloth and began mopping up the blood from her shoulder and surrounding area. He figured this was where the blood on Hannah had come from.

Lex hardly flinches as he dabbed at the mess of shredded skin that was her shoulder. It was giving her enough pain already that she barely noticed it. She also found that she wasn’t tensing up much whenever Ethan touched her. Maybe her reflexes were finally realising that she was safe with him. She does however wince and gasp in pain when he puts disinfectant on her wound.

“Sorry.” He says. He didn’t want to put her through more pain, but he wasn’t about to let her get an infection. He quickly bandages up her shoulder, hoping it wouldn’t bleed too much more before going through the same clean-up process with the cut on her arm. “You know, you should probably go to a doctor for these.” He said when he had finished.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” She said standing up. She pulls a fresh shirt out of her backpack and slips it on.

He decides not to push her on the topic, at least not tonight.

She walks towards the door but turns back to face him. “Thank you, Ethan. For everything.”

“Of course. You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Just, after the other night, I wasn’t sure if you’d even talk to me. But I shouldn’t have doubted how kind you are.” 

“Yeah, well.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I was hardly gonna turn you away.”

She nods, turning back around and making her way out of the room. The two of them walked downstairs and sat next to each other on the couch as Ethan turned on the TV.

They silently watch whatever random show was playing, neither paying much attention to it. Slowly, Ethan reaches out and takes a careful hold of her hand, not looking away from the TV. She squeezes it tightly and he turns to face her.

She looked straight ahead of her, tears streaming down her cheeks. When she notices him watching, she lets go of his hand hurriedly wiping away the tears. “Sorry.”

“Hey.” He says gently, taking back her hand. “You don’t have to apologise. It’s okay to cry.” He brushes a strand of her still wet hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. He’s amazed that she hasn’t pulled away from him at all.

Without thinking about it, she hugs onto him, crying into his chest.

He holds her tightly, though is careful of her injuries. “It’s okay. You can cry.” He whispers. “You’re safe here, Lex. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.” He wants her to know that she’s safe here with him. He hopes that she never goes back to that trailer. Never comes into contact with her mum ever again. “I’m gonna keep you safe.” He says softly, kissing the top of her head as her crying eases. 

She freezes for a moment in his arms, before shifting so that she could look up at him.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He says hurriedly, inwardly cursing himself for having ruined everything.

She puts a hand to his cheek before pressing her lips softly against his. Immediately, warmth spread through her body. She kissed him and he kissed back. Her pain felt far away as her mind was filled with all things Ethan. She didn’t want to ever let go of what she was feeling. She didn’t want this moment to end. She was safe. She was warm. She was loved.


	7. The Me Inside of Me

Lex woke up slowly, keeping her eyes closed as she regained consciousness. She felt like she’d just had the best sleep of her lifetime. She was warm and safe and was happy to just stay where she was for the rest of the day. She let out a contented sigh, shifting a little.

There was a weight around her shoulders and waist that moved slightly in response to her own movement. It brushed against her injured shoulder, sending a bolt of pain through her. The events of the previous night came back to her in a rush. 

She opened her eyes, finding that she was cuddled up on the couch with Ethan, who was still asleep. She had kissed him last night. She wanted to kiss him again. She turns away from his face, seeing that the weight around her was his arms wrapped around her, keeping her close. She also sees Hannah, standing silently by her feet.

“You okay, Banana?” She asked quietly, carefully extracting herself from Ethan’s warm and comforting embrace. She tries not to groan as she is greeted by further the pain of her injuries.

Hannah tapped a finger to her lips, before walking away into the kitchen. This was her little signal to say that she was either hungry or thirsty or both.

Lex stood up to go follow her, glancing back at the couch to see Ethan still sleeping soundly. A part of her very much wanted to go back to sleep cuddled up against him. She sighs and goes after Hannah. “What’re you after?” She asks, combing her fingers through her sister’s hair.

She goes over to the tap, grabbing hold of the spout. Ethan’s tap worked differently to the one they had back in the trailer, and she couldn’t figure out how to get the water to come out, despite being there often.

Lex goes over to a cupboard and picks out a cup and fills it with water before handing it over to Hannah.

She shook her head and pushed away the cup, causing it to slosh water onto the floor. She goes over to the cupboard, but it was up high, so she was too short to see into it. Frustrated, she turns to Lex pointing up at the cupboard.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” She asked.

Hannah didn’t say anything, growing even more frustrated.

“I don’t know what you want. You need to use your words. Can you do that for me, please?” She asked, trying to keep her patience. She always found it hard when Hannah went nonverbal. Going nonverbal was a semi-regular occurrence, often coinciding with Pamela directly trying to attack her.

“I think she wants her cup.” Ethan said from the kitchen door. He yawns and stretches out his stiff joints from sleeping on the couch. 

“She has a cup?” Lex had never heard of this before.

“Yeah, she uses it whenever she’s here while I’m babysitting.” He goes over to the cupboard and picks out a plastic cup with blue polka dots on it, handing it to Hannah.

Hannah jumps up and down happily and goes over to the tap, holding it beneath the spout, waiting expectantly for someone to fill the cup with water.

Ethan goes and turns the water on for her.

Once it’s filled, she drinks the contents, hands the now empty cup back to him before wondering off into another room.

“She trusts you.” Lex says after several moments of silence.

“Yeah.” He says, allowing silence to linger for a few moments before speaking once more. “Do you?”

She does. She trusts him more than anyone else. She trusts him so much that it scares her. She doesn’t say any of this, though. Instead, she gives her answer by slipping her hand into his.

He looks down at their joined hands before looking at her. “What are we, Lex?” He asks quietly.

She looks down at the floor. “I don’t know.” She glances up at him. She thinks about the previous night and how good it had felt to be so close to him. She knew she wanted to feel that again. But she was too broken for that. She couldn’t have a relationship and look after Hannah. She’d said that to Ethan before. She let’s go of his hand, allowing hers to flop by her side. “I don’t even know if we can be anything.” 

“Of course, we can be something.” He retakes her hand, and she lets him. “We can be whatever you want us to be. Friends, dating, enemies, lovers, whatever. I don’t care as long as I still get to see you.” He sighs before whispering so quietly she barely hears it. “I love you, Lex, and I’ve really missed you. I don’t want to be without you.”

She doesn’t know what to do about this confession. She knew he liked her, but love seemed a bit much. How could anyone possibly love her? It was a concept that was so foreign to her. Sure, she was fairly confident that Hannah loved her, but she’d never said the words. Lex didn’t know how to respond. She loved him, but she couldn’t say that, because what if he didn’t mean what he had said, and this was all just an elaborate ploy to hurt her?

She glances up at him. His expression seemed genuine. Did he actually love her then? She didn’t understand why he would. This was all starting to get too much for her. She wanted to be with him and tell him she loved him back, but she couldn’t.

“I need to go check on Hannah.” She let go of his hand and left him standing alone in the kitchen. Immediately she started mentally beating herself up for being such an idiot. She quickly finds Hannah back in the living room trying to figure out how to work the TV. Or she was just playing with the buttons on the remote, Lex wasn’t sure.

When she spots her, Hannah hands the remote over to Lex, indicating that she wanted her to find something to watch.

Lex flicks through the various channels until she lands on one that was playing an episode of _The Powerpuff Girls_. Hannah absolutely loved _The Powerpuff Girls_ and bounced up and down in excitement. Lex sat down beside her and kissed the side of her head.

As they got close to the episode, Ethan walked up behind them, clearing his throat a little to gain their attention. “I, uh, made some breakfast.”

Lex smiles at him over the back of the couch. “Thank you.” She says making to turn off the TV.

Hannah cries out, grabbing Lex’s arm and tries to wrestle the remote from her grasp.

“You can watch more later. Right now Ethan made us breakfast, aren’t you hungry?” Lex knew that she was most certainly hungry. She didn’t think she’d eaten at all in the last twenty-four hours. It wasn’t uncommon for her to go long stretches without eating, though she did try to eat when she could. There just wasn’t a lot of food in the trailer and Hannah had priority.

Unsurprisingly, she didn’t say anything. Though she did cross her arms defiantly. She wanted to stay and watch _The Powerpuff Girls_.

Ethan walked around the couch and crouched down beside her. “Hey Banana, if you come and eat your breakfast then I’ll let you two episodes of your show afterwards.”

She studies him for a few seconds before deciding to go with his deal. She climbs off of the couch and waits for him to take her to the food.

Lex switches off the TV, standing up also. “We’re are you gonna pull two episodes of _Powerpuff Girls_ from?” She asks.

“I got a DVD. I keep it for emergencies when she has a bad day and I can’t cheer her up.” He explains.

Lex was surprised. Ethan had spent money to get something for Hannah just in case she needed it. She had never properly realised until that moment how much he cared about Hannah.

Upon entering the kitchen, Lex found that he’d cooked bacon and eggs for them all. “You didn’t have to do all this.” She said.

He shrugs. “Well, it’s not every day that I get to make breakfast for my two favourite people. I gotta go all out.” He smiles at her. He then turns and hands a plate and cutlery to Hannah. “That one’s yours, Banana. Make sure you use two hands to carry that over to the table, okay?”

Hannah nods, taking the food and making her way over to the dining table.

“And this one’s yours.” He hands Lex a plate.

She takes it, looking at him intently.

He hasn’t noticed, picking up his own plate. “What?” He asks, turning back to face her.

She stands on tiptoe and kisses him. He almost drops his plate in surprise, though quickly recovers and kisses her back before she breaks away from him. “Whatever we are.” She says, taking his free hand in hers. “We’ll be together.” While watching him interact with Hannah she had realised how much she needed him. How much she cared for him. The fact that Hannah trusted him proved that he was a good person. A person that Lex couldn’t live without.

He smiles, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers.

They stay like that until an impatient noise from Hannah, who was waiting for them, breaks the pair apart. Though they only break apart enough to rest their foreheads against each other’s.

“Together.” He whispered, giving her a quick kiss before stepping back and walking with her over to Hannah.

* * *

As much as she’d like to, Lex knew that she and Hannah couldn’t stay with Ethan for long. They’d been able to spend the entire day at his house, but they couldn’t feed off of his generosity forever. She didn’t want to, but Lex knew that sooner or later they’d have to go back to the trailer. And she told Ethan this.

“You could just stay here though. My parents wouldn’t mind.” He said. They were back where they were the previous night, in the bathroom while Ethan was inspecting her shoulder.

She shakes her head. “We’ll need to go back sooner or later.”

“You can’t be serious about going back there. No offense, but your mum is a lunatic. You’re not safe there, neither of you are.” He was surprised that Lex was even considering going back to that place. Especially after what had happened the night before.

“Odds are she’s not even there right now.” She sighs and looks over at him, reaching over and giving his hand a quick squeeze. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for us; I really do. But we need to go home.”

“I can’t let you go back there.”

“Well, it’s not up to you. You’re not in charge of us.” She didn’t want to go back, but she had to. All the rest of her and Hannah’s things were there, namely school supplies that they’d need on Monday. It had been a dream spending the day in the safety of Ethan’s house, but all dreams came to an end.

“She tried to kill you, Lex. And Hannah. I can’t believe you’d want to go back there after that. That you’d take Hannah back there.” He was growing frustrated with her.

“I don’t want to go back. I don’t want Hannah to be there, but what choice do we have? I don’t have enough saved to get out of there.”

“I told you that you could just stay here.”

“I don’t want to be living off charity.” She got up off of the chair, despite Ethan not having finished with her shoulder. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She stops and stares at herself. She looked awful. Her shoulder was an absolute mess and would undoubtedly take weeks if not months to heal properly. Her body was covered in bruises, half of which she didn’t even know how she got them. A few cigarette burn scares were scattered across her chest as well. She was a hollow shell of a person, just floating along, doing her best to stay alive long enough to ensure her sister’s safety.

“I’m a mess.” She whispered. “I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken.” He goes over to her.

“I am. I’m this shattered, hollow mess of a person.” She looked down at her feet. Why would he ever want to hang around someone like her? He was perfect and whole. Why would he want anything to do with her?

He turns her to face him, cupping her face in his hands. “Maybe you have a few cracks, a few chips. But to me, you are perfect and beautiful, and I love you.” He smiles softly at her. “You know how in _Once Upon A Time_ , Rumpelstiltskin has that chipped cup he loves, like it’s his prized possession?”

She shakes her head, confused as to what he’s on about. “I haven’t watched that show.”

“Right, well, basically he’s in love with Belle, who’s Australian for some reason, and while cleaning she accidentally knocks over one of his cups and chips it. That cup became his most prized possession. He could care less about all the other teacups he has, but that one he loves, because he loves Belle and she chipped it. He loves the cup because it’s broken. Because she broke it. See,  
broken and chipped and messy things can be loved.” He says, hoping that he was able to get his point across.

“Well, does she love him back?” Lex asks.

“Huh?”

“Does Belle love Rumpelstiltskin?”

“Yeah, she does. And he’s a complete mess. Like he’d done a ton of bad stuff and is disliked by basically every other character at first, because he does so many dodgy deals. But she sees past all that crap and properly gets to know him. So, yeah, she loves him back.” He kisses her forehead. “I know you and I love you.”

She smiles in spite of herself. She leans into him and he wraps his arms around her. She had found that she loved hugging him and getting hugs from him and couldn’t believe that she had refrained from letting it happen for so long. It was the same with kisses. Maybe she knew that once they happened that she was a goner. 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Let’s finish up your shoulder and then we can get back to this?” As much as he didn’t want to let go of Lex, he didn’t want to aggravate her shoulder.

Reluctantly she nods, though stays in his arms for a few more seconds before going and sitting back on the chair by the sink.

As he quickly finishes re-bandaging her shoulder a scream from Hannah emanates from where she was supposed to be asleep in his room.

Lex bolts out of the chair and runs over to Hannah. She flicks on the light switch to the bedroom, seeing her sister sitting as far back in the bed as she could, legs hugged to her chest. “What’s wrong, Banana?” She asks gently, sitting down and wrapping her arms around her.

Hannah clings onto her, burying her face in Lex’s chest as she begins to cry.

“It’s okay.” She said soothingly, rubbing her sisters back. “Did you have a bad dream?” She asks.

Hannah shakes her head and points in the direction of the wardrobe.

“What’s wrong with the wardrobe? Do you think something’s in it?”

She nods, clinging tighter.

Lex looks over to Ethan, who was standing in the doorway, silently asking him to go check the wardrobe.

“Don’t worry, Banana Split.” He said. “If there’s anything in there I’ll scare it off.

She turns her head, rubbing her eyes as she watches him go over to the wardrobe. He swings open the doors, and she shrinks back. Nothing happens. The wardrobe is empty except for Ethan’s clothes.

“There’s nothing in there, it’s just a wardrobe.” Lex says, kissing the top of Hannah’s head. She had no idea what Hannah thought might have been in there, but since she still wasn’t talking, it was unlikely that she’d find out. “Do you want to try going back to sleep?”

She looks up at her, rather scared of the prospect of sleeping.

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with you.”

She nodded, then looked over at Ethan and pointed.

“Do you want Ethan to stay too?” Lex asked.

Hannah nodded.

He came over and sat on her other side. Lex half lays down in the bed, Hannah curling up into her side, resting her head on Lex’s stomach.

“Sweet dreams, Banana.” She says, combing her fingers through Hannah’s hair.

Ethan doesn’t really know what to do, so he just sits there silently as Hannah drifts of to sleep. He watches Lex who was looking at her sister with a loving expression on her face.

“You know, you’d make a really good mum one day.” He said quietly so as not to disturb the now sleeping Hannah.

Lex looks up at him. “Yeah right.” 

“I’m mean it, you’d be great.” He didn’t know why Lex didn’t agree.

She shakes her head. “I’d be shit, it’s in my genes. I’m never going to have kids.”

“Why?”

“You’ve met my mother.” She looks back to Hannah.

“What’s that got to do with it?” He asks.

“She was abused as a kid, now she abuses me. It’s in my genes to be just like her should I have kids of my own. It’s a shitty cycle and I’m going to end it. I don’t want to become an abuser.” She explains.

“Abuse isn’t genetic.” He points out. “And you’re nothing like your mum.”

Lex shrugs, remaining silent. The silence lingers for several minutes before she speaks. “Why have you watched _Once Upon A Time_? Isn’t it about fairy tales?”

“Yeah, I thought that it might be something Hannah would like to watch, but she’s a bit too young for it.”

“And that plot line you were telling me about, is that right at the beginning of the series?”

“It’s season two I think.”

She laughs. “So, you didn’t just watch it to see if Hannah would like it.” She declares.

“It’s an addictive show, okay?” He holds his hands up in defence, grinning at her.

“Sure, it is.”

“It is! You should watch it; I think you’d like it.” He smiles. He was definitely loving the image of them curled up together watching the show.

“Maybe.” She smiles back, unknowingly holding the same image in her mind that he was. How she wished that she could stay here with him forever. Perhaps one day she would be able to be with him permanently. She reached across Hannah, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. “I haven’t told you this before, but I’ve been planning on leaving Hatchetfield. For a while actually.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been saving every cent I can for this. I was gonna take Hannah and get out of this shithole town. Start fresh somewhere that she’ll be safe.” She swallows, slightly nervous. “If that day ever comes, would you want to come with us?”

He leans over and kisses her softly on the lips, breaking away all too soon. “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. I’d be honoured to go with you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She closes the space between him, returning his kiss with enthusiasm.


	8. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for sexual assault. If you don't wanna read it then don't read beyond the second set of * * *

The entire weekend had felt like a dream. Ethan had convinced her to stay for the Sunday, and it had been amazing. But now the dream was over, and she had to go to school. Still, the world seemed a little brighter than it had before. A little more colour was present.

That morning, Ethan had driven Lex and Hannah over to the trailer so that they could collect their school things. Only Lex was going to go in, just in case Pamela was there.

Ethan wasn’t too keen on her going in alone. But she had pointed out that Hannah wasn’t going in and someone needed to watch her, and he didn’t know where their things would be. He eventually relented but was still unhappy about it.

When they pulled up outside the trailer Lex kissed Ethan on the cheek before hoping out of his car. “I’ll be right back.” She said before closing the door and climbing in the still open window that led into her and Hannah’s room. She would have been surprised if her mother was home but decided to play it safe.

“Holy shit.” She muttered.

Upon entering the room, she found it to be an absolute mess. The entire top half of the door was torn to pieces, wood lying throughout the room. The knife that had been used to break in had been stabbed into the pillow that lay at the head of the bed. The image made Lex shudder.

Every item that she hadn’t packed had been tossed carelessly about the room. The place was an utter and complete dump. 

Lex quickly got to work hunting down everything that she and Hannah would need for school, a task made a lot more difficult with the state of the room. She glances through the hole in the door finding the rest of the trailer equally messy and totally abandoned. 

With the door the way it was, she knew that they wouldn’t be as safe in that room as they once were. Maybe she could have Hannah continue to stay with Ethan while she sorted something out with the door. It was likely going to cost more money than she had.

With a sigh she finished up her mission and climbed back out of the window. She’d have to come back that night after work to start cleaning up the place. Much as she liked staying with Ethan, she couldn’t live off him and his parents forever.

“Get everything?” Ethan asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.

“Yep.” She says, passing Hannah’s bag back to her.

Hannah grabbed her arm giving it a squeeze while giving her a slightly scared expression. She still wasn’t talking.

“Mum didn’t get me. She wasn’t even there.” Lex said reassuringly as they pulled out of the trailer park.

She nods and releases Lex’s arm.

The drive continues in silence until they reach the elementary school.

“School time, Banana.” Lex says climbing out of the car and opening Hannah’s door, helping her out onto the pavement. “Do you wanna say bye-bye to Ethan?”

Hannah waves at him, giving him a double fist-bump.

“Bye-bye Banana Split.” He said with a smile. “I’ll see you this afternoon, okay?”

She nods, allowing Lex to guide her into the school building. It didn’t take overly long for Lex to return and slip back into her seat.

“The trailers a complete mess.” She said. She hadn’t wanted to discuss what she’d seen there while Hannah was in the car. “The bedroom door’s been smashed, and everything had been tossed around.” She decides to leave off the part about the pillow being stabbed. She sighs. “So, now I’ve gotta somehow come up with the money to fix the door if I want to have any sort of safety in that room.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out.” He said. He reaches out and places a hand on her knee. “And you know you’re welcome to stay at my place as long as you need.”

“I know.” She had been thinking that maybe she and Hannah would be able to go back to the trailer that night, but with the door in its current state she didn’t think it would be possible. She felt bad about having to stay longer, particularly as Ethan had spent the weekend sleeping on the couch.

They pull into the Hatchetfield High carpark. It doesn’t take overly long for Ethan to find a free space and parks the car.

He sighs. “Ready for another day in this hell-hole?” He asks, resting his head on her shoulder.

She pushes him off her. “You’re such a drama queen, it’s not that bad.”

He shrugs.

She laughs at him, giving him a quick kiss. “Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

The week had been long and draining filled with school, work and cleaning up the trailer. Lex and Hannah had continued to stay with Ethan while Lex slowly fixed up the trailer. She would always come home well after dark and would want nothing more than to curl up with Ethan and fall asleep.

The one thing that made the week harder was that Lex hardly got to see Hannah. It was only in the morning before school that the two got to interact, as Hannah would be asleep by the time Lex came back from the trailer. She wasn’t happy about it but didn’t have much choice in the matter. The trailer needed to get repaired so that they could live there again.

Hannah was yet to say a word and it was taking its toll. She grew increasingly frustrated with people for not understanding her. These people would also become frustrated with her for her refusal to speak. Lex and Ethan at least knew her and her needs well enough to have good guesses as to what she was communicating, though the silence was wearing thin the patience of her teachers.

It was halfway through Lex’s fourth period that she received a phone call from the elementary school.

“Hello?” She said, getting out of her seat and heading to the exit.

“Where do you think you’re going, Foster?” Her teacher called from the front of the room.

She waved him off and stepped out into the corridor.

“Hello, is this the parent or guardian of Hannah Foster?” Asked the nasally voice of the school receptionist.

“Yes.” She wasn’t legally Hannah’s guardian, but she was the person who took care of her, so she just pretended she was when dealing with the elementary school.

“This is Rhonda Levesdon from Hatchetfield Elementary. Hannah has become rather disruptive and it has been requested by her teacher that she be taken home for the remainder of the day.” The receptionist continued

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” She hung up and stepped back into the classroom to collect her things.

“Everything okay?” Ethan asked as she started packing up her books.

“Yeah, Hannah’s school rang and said she was being disruptive, which we all know is code for they can’t deal with her anymore.” She sighed.

He gave her a sympathetic smile. “Need a lift?”

She shook her head. “We’ll be alright, she probably needs some time outside without people there.” Whenever Hannah needed calming down in the middle of the day, Lex would take her to the park where she’d lie down on the scratchy grass and look up at the trees. It never failed to calm her down.

It didn’t take very long for Lex to get to the elementary school. She walked into the front office and was greeted by Rhonda. 

“She’s that way.” She said waving down a corridor from which Hannah’s screams and cries could be heard.

Lex hurried down it to find Hannah on the floor flailing her limbs out at any person who tried to approach her. A few teachers where there trying to at least look like they were attempting to help her. 

Lex pushed past them and crouched down next to her sister. “Hey, Banana, it’s just me. Just Lexi.” She said softly. “Do you wanna go to the park with me?”

Hannah stopped screaming, recognising that Lex was there and she no longer had to defend herself from the other adults. She continued to let tears stream down her cheeks as she crawled over to Lex, laying her head in her lap.

She ran her hands down Hannah’s back. “Yeah, let’s go to the park. You like the park. She slowly got up to her feet, picking up her sister and sitting her on her hip.

Hannah wrapped her arms around Lex’s neck, burying her face in her shoulder and continuing to cry rather loudly.

Lex walked out of the building, waving at Rhonda as she went. She walked all the way to the park, Hannah slowly calming down with every step. Once they arrived, Lex found them an isolated patch of grass beneath a large oak tree. She lay down on her back, allowing Hannah to lay on top of her.

She allowed her mind to wander as Hannah became occupied with watching the clouds above them. She wished she had the means to have Hannah attend a school where people understood her. Where they’d be able to take care of her even on bad days. Having to leave in the middle of the day to pick up Hannah wasn’t doing Lex any favours in terms of her education. She needed good grades if she wanted to graduate and find herself a better job. If she was ever going to get them out of Hatchetfield, she’d need a higher paying job.

Hannah lifted her arm pointing up at the sky.

“Yeah, I see it.” She said also pointing up at the sky before booping Hannah on the nose, causing her to giggle. Lex didn’t actually know what she had been pointing at, but it didn’t matter so long as she told Hannah she could see whatever it was.

Hannah began humming a made up song to herself while Lex closed her eyes, allowing time to slip by her.

“Mind if I join you?” Ethan asked, sitting down besides the two girls.

Lex opened her eyes, turning her head to look at him, having no idea how much time had passed since they first arrived at the park. “What time is it?”

He glanced at his phone. “Almost three.” He answered before putting the device back in his jacket pocket.

“Shit, I’ve gotta get to work.” She sat up.

Hannah who was still on top of her whined and protested. She wanted to keep watching the clouds.

“I’ve gotta go now, Banana.” She explained. “You get to hang out with Ethan for a bit now.”

Hannah looked at her with a face on the verge of a tantrum.

Ethan then spoke before Lex could. “Hey, Banana Split, Lexi’s gotta go to work now but we can go home and watch _The Powerpuff Girls_ if you want.”

Her face lit up and she started bouncing up at down with excitement.

Ethan was able to take her from Lex’s lap, sitting her in his own.

Lex stood up, grabbing her backpack as she brushed grass and dirt from her clothes. “You two have fun.” She said giving them both a smile and a wave as she rushed off to the mall and to Toy-Zone.

“You’re five minutes late, Alexandra.” Frank said as she stepped inside the store.

“Sorry, class ran overtime.” She said, mumbling her excuse. It was the same one she used every time she came in late.

“You got detention more likely.” He said before turning and leaving her to get started.

Work for the most part, was uneventful. There were a few customers, mostly kids dragging their parents around. She hated all the kids and parents on principle. The after-school crowd always ended up buying the porcelain dolls and expensive remote-control cars. They were the customers that had money to spend. 

She had never had toys growing up. Her mother wasn’t the type to get her any, and they weren’t useful enough for it to be worth Lex stealing any. She did, however, start stealing them when Hannah was born. Just little stuffed animals or the occasional doll. Things that could be easily overlooked during stocktake. It was easier to grab something now that she worked at Toy-Zone. It was the main reason she had accepted the job there in the first place. Though it wasn’t like she had to choose between employers. Frank was the only person she’d applied to that had accepted.

She hated the work, customers and Frank with a passion, but money was money, and she would take what she could get. If working at Toy-Zone was going to one day led her to escaping Hatchetfield then so be it.

When at last her shift ended, she walked over to the trailer park. Upon arriving she immediately set to work fixing the door with ‘borrowed’ wood and screws. During the four days she had been fixing up the trailer she hadn’t seen any sign of her mother. It was a relief that she wasn’t there, but it also made Lex rather nervous. It was one thing to know that her mum was away drinking with a fresh paycheque of Lex’s. It was a totally different matter for Pamela to have disappeared after what had been quite the murderous rampage. At any moment she could reappear and attempt to finish what she had started that Friday night.

The sun had long ago set by the time Lex had finished. She wasn’t just done for the night; she had finally completed the task of fixing the door. She and Hannah would be able to return there the next night. It would’ve been that very night, but Lex knew that her sister would be asleep by now and she didn’t want to disturb her.

Lex sat back, admiring her handiwork. She hoped that the door would be sturdy enough to withstand the force of Pamela.

She got up off the floor, brushing herself free of sawdust and hopped out of the window, heading over to Ethan’s house. She slipped in through the back door so as not to disturb his parents who liked to go to bed early.

He was sitting on the couch waiting for her. He looked up when he saw her enter the room. “Hey, how was work?” He asked, gesturing for her to sit down next to him.

She did so, leaning into his side as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She was fully acclimatised to his touch now, and absolutely loved it. It was even starting to become something she missed when she wasn’t with him. “It was alright.” She said, resting her head on his shoulder. “How was Hannah?”

“She was happily occupied with _The Powerpuff Girls_.” He said, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

“That’s good.” She says. They silently watch the TV for a few minutes before she speaks once more. “The trailers fully repaired now, so we’ll be able to move back in tomorrow.” She says quietly, knowing how against them going back he was.

“I still don’t get why you want to go back there.” He said, giving her a light squeeze.

“I can’t keep imposing on you and your parents and I can’t afford my own place yet, so that’s why.” She said.

“It’s not safe there.”

“Mum just had a rage. It’ll all be fine now. I haven’t even seen any sign of her all week.” Lex said.

He sighs. “I know I can’t stop you going back there. But if she even tries to hurt you or Hannah again you need to come back here.”

“Ethan.”

“I’m serious. I don’t want either of you getting hurt.”

“I know.” She kisses him on the cheek.

* * *

That morning she had explained to Hannah that they were moving back into the trailer. Hannah had cried and wouldn’t let go of Ethan, though did eventually with the promise that they’d still get to hang out together and watch _The Powerpuff Girls_.

Lex and Ethan continued their looping discussions about her going back to the trailer all throughout the school day. He wasn’t entirely convinced that she would leave the horrid place should she be in danger. He had grown pretty certain that she had a bit of a warped view of how bad the abuse she received truly was, seeing how normal it had become to her. She only ever really felt danger for Hannah, she thought of herself as more disposable. She was only there to block attacks on Hannah, that was all.

Their conversations weren’t exactly quiet either. They’d talk at a regular volume, meaning it would be rather easy for anyone else to hear about what was going on, though they didn’t seem to notice this.

As per the usual, Lex went to work after school before going back one last time to Ethan’s house to collect Hannah.

“I’m gonna miss you.” He said from the other side of the door.

“You’re not gonna miss having to sleep on the couch.” She said. 

“I don’t mind the couch.” He said. The couch was pretty uncomfortable to sleep on, but he would spend the rest of his nights sleeping on it if Lex was there with him.

She smiles softly at him. She takes a step forward and kisses him on the lips before stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She then turns to Hannah, who is holding onto her hand. “Do you wanna say bye-bye, Banana?”

“Bye-bye, Banana Split.” Ethan said, waving at her. He offers her a double fist-bump and she reluctantly accepts, pressing her fists into his.

“Okay, time to go now.” Lex said, adjusting her backpack on her shoulders. She gives Ethan one last smile and a quick little wave as she turns away and begins guiding Hannah down the street in the direction of the trailer.

They walk in silence, walking out of Ethan’s suburb and into a more industrial area, riddled with alleyways. It was a pretty dodgy area of town, but it was the only way to get to the trailer park that didn’t involve crossing a bunch of busy roads. Hannah couldn’t be trusted around busy roads, she’d get distracted by the cars flashing by and would want to try and touch them. There had been multiple occasions where she’d almost gotten run over.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Hannah let out a short, sharp scream.

Lex turned to see what had caused her to illicit the noise and found that someone had grabbed onto her arm. The someone being Bradley. 

“Let go of her.” Lex said, placing herself between Hannah and the football player.

He does so. “Don’t fret, princess. I’m not after her.” He was wearing an odd expression, almost as if he was hungry, but not for food.

“What are you after?” She took a few steps backwards, forcing Hannah to do the same also.

“You.” He lunges forwards before she’s able to react, smashing his mouth against hers as he forces her back into a nearby alley.

She shoves him away and tries to get around him and out of the alley, at the mouth of which stood Hannah.

He blocks her. “Oh, not so fast, princess.”

She didn’t know what he was planning but knew that she needed to get her sister out of there. “Hannah, run home. As fast as you can.” She called out to her, praying that Hannah would go straight home and not get herself lost. 

The end of her sentence was swallowed by Bradley once more forcing his mouth upon hers.

She tries to push him away again, though he gets a hold of her arms, pinning them against the brick wall behind her. She tries to kick him, but he shoves her down on the ground, sitting atop her legs, holding her arms down above her head.

“Your boyfriend isn’t gonna protect you now.” He said wickedly.

* * *

Lex had told her to go home, so that’s what she was doing. She ran back up the street the way they had come. Saying that she was frightened was a bit of an understatement. She didn’t know who that boy was or what was going on, but she did know that it was bad.

She kept running all the way back to Ethan’s house where she knocked on the door as loudly as she could.

“Hannah? What are you doing back here? Where’s Lex?” He asked upon opening the door and seeing her.

She needed to tell him what was happening. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she continued to struggle. She pointed down the street and finally managed to get a word out. “Lexi.”

Ethan still had no real idea what was happening but could see that Hannah was clearly distressed. “Okay, you stay here, and I’ll go find Lexi.” He said, guiding her inside the house. “I’ll be right back.”

She nods, still crying.

He gives her a small smile before closing the door and heading down the street in search of Lex. The further he got without any sign of her, the more worried he became. It had appeared that Hannah had gone a long way on her own, which was worrying in itself.

As he left the suburb and entered the industrial part of town, he heard a scream. He froze, knowing that it belonged to Lex. He began running, searching for where the noise had come from. He needed to get to her.

He came around a bend and heard her vocalizing protests from down an alley. He went straight over there where he saw the naked backside of man over her. She was struggling against the man, but he had too strong of a grip on her.

Ethan felt his blood boil as he ran full speed towards the man, tacking him to the ground. The two of them rolled across the pavement. “Get the fuck away from her!” He yelled, slowly realising that the man was Bradley. He punched him several times in the face before going over to Lex. While he was furious at Bradley and would very much like to continue punching him, Lex was more important and he needed to make sure that she was going to be okay.

She was sprawled on the concrete ground, breathing heavily as tears ran down her cheeks. He shirt had been pushed up under her armpits, her lower clothing bunched up at her ankles. She hadn’t made any attempts to correct her clothes, she just lay there, staring up at the sky.

“Lex?” Ethan said, couching besides her.

She turns her head and sees him. She didn’t know how he had come to be there but was most definitely grateful that he was there.

He carefully reaches out and takes hold of her hand, not knowing how she would be feeling about physical contact at that moment.

She squeezes it hard.

Taking that as permission, he picks her up from the ground and pulls her into his embrace. He holds her close, trying to comfort her as best as he could, slowly setting her clothes aright. He wipes away the tears on her cheeks, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. “How about we head home?” He said.

“Hannah!” She said, suddenly remembering. “Where is she?”

“Don’t worry, she’s back at the house.” He said, giving her a reassuring smile. “She’s okay.”

Lex nods. She was relieved that Hannah was alright. “I told her to run home.” She whispered. She had told Hannah to go straight home, and she had gone directly to Ethan. 

“Let’s go and see her there.” He said, standing up, bringing her to her feet.

She nods, wrapping her arms around herself. She wanted to get out of that alley. She didn’t want to continue thinking about what had just happened.

Ethan took off his jacket and draped it across her shoulders as he began guiding her out onto the street and walking her all the way back to his house.


	9. Our Love is God

Ethan had gone to put Hannah to bed, so Lex was left alone with her thoughts. She was curled up on the couch, wrapping Ethan’s jacket tightly around her shoulders. Every part of her ached and she just wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

Her mind kept going back to everything that had just happened. She knew it was all her fault. Anything remotely negative happening was always her fault; her mother had made that abundantly clear. She was angry with herself for letting it happen. She should have done more to fight off Bradley. Should’ve done more to keep Hannah safe. She was just glad that nothing bad had happened to her sister.

She rested her elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands. Thanks to Bradley there was no longer a safe route to walk with Hannah between Ethan’s house and the trailer. She may have to get him to watch Hannah at the trailer from now on, which would end badly if Pamela showed up when Lex wasn’t there. She sighed. Everything was messed up, and it was all her fault. She would be surprised if Ethan still loved her after this.

“Hey.” He said gently while entering the room.

She jumped, not having heard him walk in.

“Sorry.” He sits next to her, though doesn’t make a move to touch her. Part of her wishes he would, while the other part is relieved. “How are you going?”

She shrugs. She doesn’t bother looking up or moving in any sort of way. She doesn’t want to talk about how much has been fucked up because of her.

“If you need anything, anything at all, I’m here for you.” He says. He moves his hand so that it was next to her knee and within her line of sight. Yet again he doesn’t try to touch her, not without her permission.

She looks down at his hand for a long moment, making no move to touch it. “Why do you care?” She asks. She knows he’s probably just said that to keep some allusion that he still loved her.

“Because I love you, and I want you to be okay.” He spoke without hesitation.

She lifted her head to look at him, giving him the biggest, fakest smile she could muster. “There, I’m okay. You can stop pretending now.” She goes back to cradling her head in her hands.

“Pretending what?” He asked, looking at her rather confusedly.

“You know what.” She turned so that her back was too him, crossing her arms over her chest. Him continuing to pretend was only going to make it worse. If he stopped loving her, he should just say so, so she can grab Hannah and leave.

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said, shuffling a little closer to her. “What do you think I’m pretending?”

She stood up, back still to him. “You’re pretending that you care about me.”

“What?” He stands up having not expected her to say that. He thought he’d made it pretty clear how much he cared for her. “What part of ‘I love you’ do you think is fake?” 

“There’s no way you can still love me after today.” She couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just admit that he no longer loved her. It’s not like she didn’t understand the change in feelings. She had messed everything up. It was her own fault that Bradley had taken advantage of her. How could anyone love someone who was such a fuck up.

“Why do you think my feelings for you have changed?” He realised that somehow, she had herself convinced he no longer cared, and he needed to know why. He needed to make sure she knew and believed that he still loved her.

“How could they not have?”

“Why?” He needed to know what was going on inside her head.

“Because I’ve fucked everything up.” She whirls around to face him, the beginnings of tears glistening in her eyes. 

“What are you talking about?” He still had no idea what she was saying. As far as he knew she hadn’t fucked up anything.

“Everything that happened tonight; everything that Bradley did to me was my fault.” She all but shouted the words.

“How?”

“Because I didn’t stop it happening.”

“Lex, I saw how he’d pinned you down. There’s no way you would’ve been able to through him off from that position.” He cautiously approaches her, making sure to keep his words calm.

She shook her head. “I’m still to blame. If something bad happens, it’s always my fault. I did this to myself, I’m the one to blame.” She sounded defeated. She sits down where she is, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

“But that’s not true.” He kneels beside her. “What happened tonight was entirely Bradley’s fault. He’s the one to blame. You did nothing wrong. You were fighting against him. I saw you. You were doing all that you could to stop him.” He carefully places a hand on her shoulder.

She lets the hand stay for a few seconds before shrugging it off. “It’s my fault, Ethan. And after everything that’s happened there’s no way you can honestly say that you still love me.”

“But I do. I love you, Lex. And I’m not planning on stopping anytime soon.” He cups her cheek in one hand, imploring her to believe him.

She shakes her head. “How can you say that? I’m trash. I’m a piece of shit. I’m unlovable. The only thing I’m good for is making a mess of things.”

The way she was speaking he knew that these were things she’d been told over and over. He had a strong hunch that her mother had been the one to tell her all these lies.

“Listen to me for a sec.” He said, his other hand taking hold of one of hers. “You are beautiful and kind and wonderful. None of what happened tonight is your fault, I don’t care who tells you otherwise, you are not to blame for what happened. You are good at so many things, taking care of Hannah in particular. In my eyes you are perfect. I love you. I love every part of you, Lex.” He uses his thumb to wipe away a tear that had rolled down her cheek.

* * *

“Okay, Banana, you’ve gotta stay right beside me and hold my hand, alright?” She said, keeping a firm grip on Hannah’s hand as they approached an intersection. Despite having seen no sign of Bradley in the past week, inside or outside of school, she didn’t feel safe enough to take her normal route from Ethan’s house. Hannah’s safety was her top priority, and should something happen to Lex, she didn’t want Hannah roaming the streets on her own again. 

They walked up to the part of the intersection designated for pedestrian crossing and waited for it to be safe to do so.

“Press the button.” Lex instructed pointing at the crossing button.

Hannah looks at the button for a few seconds before darting out a hand to press it. She was having a bad day, and the noise of cars paired with the sunlight reflecting off of the shining metal surfaces wasn’t helping.

They wait a few minutes until they get the green light to cross.

“We gotta walk, Banana.” She says, not wanting Hannah to be running so close to all the cars trying to get home from work.

When they’re almost at the hallway point that separates the two directions of traffic, Hannah is overcome by the blaring sunlight. She scrunches her eyes closed and curls up on the road.

“No, no stopping.” Lex said, noting that their time to cross was dwindling to a close. “We gotta keep going.” She tries to pick Hannah up, but she does not want to be lifted.

She starts kicking and screaming, flailing her arms.

“Hannah, we can’t stop here.” She says, getting desperate as the traffic lights were about to change over. They were so close to the island between the traffic flows. She tries grabbing hold of Hannah’s arms to drag her the rest of the way.

She kicked and screamed. She only grew louder as the lights changed over and the cars they were blocking started honking. She didn’t like the noise and covered her ears with her hands.

Lex seized this opportunity and managed to pick Hannah up off of the asphalt, despite the continued kicking, and carried her to the halfway point.

She still didn’t want to be carried and managed to wrestle her way out of Lex’s grasp. Once her feet were on the concrete, she made a run for it, not caring that the direction she ran in was right into oncoming traffic.

“Hannah!” Lex yelled, going after her. 

A car swerved to avoid hitting Hannah, and Lex was able to grab her before she got hurt.

“Oh my God, Hannah.” She said, breathing heavily, heart pounding. This was the exact reason she didn’t normally walk this route. “You can’t run into traffic like that.” She kept both of her arms wrapped tightly around her sister until they were a fair distance from the road, and even then, she kept a firm grip on Hannah’s hand.

Hannah wasn’t very appreciative of Lex’s safety precautions and kept trying to tug away.

“No pulling, please.” She said in an attempt to have her sister remain placidly by her side.

Hannah twisted her hand out of Lex’s grip and started running towards the woods that lay beyond the trailer park.

“Hannah!” She yelled, running after her. She couldn’t let her go into the woods. A lot of dodgy characters hung out there, and Lex knew that a lot of drug deals happened within those trees. The dense trees would also make it a lot harder for her to keep track of Hannah, who could easily get lost within the foliage.

Hannah ran all the way into the woods, crashing her way through the bracken. With all the noise she made, she’d scare off any animals that might attack her, not that there were really any dangerous animals in there.

“Hannah, stop!” She yelled, entering the woods after her sister. She was at least grateful that Hannah was wearing her favourite yellow shirt, making it easy to spot her between the trees.

She chose to ignore her sister, happily darting between towering trees. She held out her hands so that they might be tickled by the leaves of low-hanging branches. She sings a non-sense song to herself as she continues to crash through the underbrush. 

She keeps running until she reaches a clearing in the centre of the woods. There is a group of older teenagers loitering there, leaning against the trees and smoking. They stop what they’re doing and stare at her. She ignores them, continuing to sing to herself. She spins around a few times in the middle of the clearing before lying down on her back so she can watch the clouds and the trees sway in the breeze.

“Uh, you shouldn’t be here, kid.” One of the teenagers said, stubbing out his cigarette and taking a few steps towards Hannah. “Where are you parents?”

Lex then enters the clearing, noting the group watching her sister. She goes straight over to Hannah, crouching down beside her. “Hey, Banana, we can’t watch clouds here, we gotta go home now.”

Hannah whined, pointing up at the sky. She didn’t want to leave.

“I’m not working tomorrow, so we can watch clouds then. But it’s getting late now.” She said, trying to negotiate. The sun had started to set on their way back from Ethan’s and if it got dark before they were out of the woods, it would be a lot harder to not get lost. She tried pulling Hannah up into a sitting position, but she went all floppy, not wanting to stop watching the sky.

“I don’t think she wants to get up.” The teenager said, lighting a fresh cigarette.

Lex glared at him and he backed off. She turns her attention back to Hannah. “C’mon it’s home time. Tomorrow I promise that we’ll go cloud watching. Maybe if you come now I can ask Ethan to come too.”

After thinking about the proposition, Hannah allows Lex to pick her up.

“Good girl, Banana.” She says, letting out a sigh of relief. She turns her back to the gang of teenagers and heads out of the woods. Night has fallen by the time they’re out and back at the trailer park.

Because she’s carrying Hannah, Lex wasn’t able to climb through the window, and right now she didn’t trust Hannah enough to put her down to do so. So, she was left with no choice but to use the door. She finds it to be unlocked and instantly feels herself fill with dread. Her mother was home.

She takes a deep breath, praying that whatever happens wouldn’t be too bad, and opens the door. She enters the trailer, finding her mum slumped in the couch, absentmindedly watching the TV while drinking a bottle of beer.

Pamela glances up when she hears the girls enter. “Where the fuck have you been?” She asks as they enter the room further.

“Work.” Lex answers, trying to make her way into her and Hannah’s room where they’d be safe.

“Where’s she been?” Pamela asks, looking in disgust at Hannah who had become covered in leaves and dirt from her adventure in the woods. 

“She ran into the woods.”

“Thought you said that you could look after her. Doesn’t look like you’ve done a good job.” She gets up off of the couch just to hit Lex in the side of the head before shoving her in the direction of the bedroom. “Get the brat cleaned up.” She said before returning to the couch.

Lex stumbled a little, Hannah’s added weight upsetting her balance. She quickly hurries into their bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She puts Hannah down on the bed before going about hunting down some pyjamas for her to get changed into.

Hannah starts crying, knowing that it was her fault that their mum had hit Lex. “Sorry, Lexi.” She says between tears. She had started talking again in the past few days, though very minimally. She’d say maybe ten word in a day and half of them were ‘Lexi’.

“What are you sorry about?” She asked, turning and going over to her sister.

“Mama.” She said pointing at where Lex had been hit.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry about that. It wasn’t your fault; I should’ve been taking better care of you.” She said, trying to reassure her. She gives her a soft smile. “Come on, let’s get you all cleaned up.” She takes hold of Hannah’s hand, her other carrying her pyjamas.

Lex carefully opens the bedroom and walks the two of them into the pathetically small bathroom, closing the door behind them. She helps Hannah take off her now dirty clothes, tossing them into a pile on the ground. She turns on the shower and takes out Hannah’s hair while they wait for the water to heat up.

Hannah periodically places her hand under the jet of water, giggling every time.

“Is it warm now?” Lex asks.

To find out, Hannah steps inside the shower, before immediately stepping out again, crying.

Lex wraps an arm around and sticks her hand in the water to see what temperature it was. “Bit too hot, is it?” She says, turning the cold tap up higher, having found the water rather scolding. She tests the water again. “It’s better now. Do you want me to come in with you?” She always had to be there to supervise whenever Hannah had a shower. To her, it was like she was in a never-ending puddle, so all she wanted to do was jump up and down and play with the water.

Hannah stepped into the shower, flapping her hands under the stream of water, enjoying how it felt.

“Gotta get your hair wet.” Lex instructed.

She patted her wet hands on her hair. She then cupped her hands, so they filled with water before throwing the drops onto her head.

Lex sighs, grabbing a cup from beside the sink. She leaned in so that she could fill the cup up from the shower jet and used it to wet Hannah’s hair. It didn’t seem like she was going to actively wash herself, so Lex undressed and stepped into the shower with her, going about washing her hair. Sometimes she was able to prompt Hannah into doing it herself, but today wasn’t one of those days.

Hannah gets a dollop of shampoo from Lex and lathers it up in her hands so that she could play with the bubbles.

As soon as Hannah’s hair has been washed, Lex turns off the shower and starts getting the two of them dry. Lex’s hair also needed to be washed, but she knew that if they took any longer Pamela would be banging down the door. So, she quickly gets Hannah into her pyjamas before slipping back into the clothes she’d been wearing earlier. They walk quickly back into their bedroom, making sure the door was shut firmly behind them.

“You can play for a little bit, but then it’s bedtime, okay?” She said.

She nodded, before digging out some of her toys, sitting on the bed with them.

Lex settled herself down in the corner, resting her back on the wall opposite of where her sister played. She pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Ethan.

> Just so you know I promised Hannah that the three of us will go cloud watching tomorrow. 

* * *

“My mum’s back.” Lex said during their lunch period.

Ethan dropped his fork, reaching his hand out across the table to take hers. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” She said nonchalantly.

“Has she hit you or anything?”

She doesn’t say anything, continuing to pick at various food items on Ethan’s lunch tray.

“Lex?” He felt like he already knew the answer from her silence.

She sighs. “Yeah, she hit me. Nothing out of the ordinary or anything.” She shrugs, stealing one of his carrot sticks and starts eating it.

“Babe, she shouldn’t be hitting you at all.”

She looks up. “What did you just call me?”

His face goes bright red and the hand that was holding hers retreated back to his side of the table. “Uh… Sorry.” He said, not entirely sure what to say.

She laughs, grabbing his hand back. “Don’t worry.” She said, smiling. “I like it.”

He smiles back, letting out a sigh of relief, before going back to being serious. “I mean it, she shouldn’t be hitting you.”

“It’s fine, it was my fault anyway.” She steals another one of his carrot sticks.

“Was it really?” He now knew that she always blamed everything on herself, whether it actually be her fault or not. He was pretty sure it was her mother who had conditioned her to feel that way.

“Yes, it was.” She said in a tone that ended the conversation.

He watches her silently for several moments, trying to determine if whatever had happened was actually her fault. After a little while he decides to let it drop. “So, we’re going cloud watching after school?”

“Yeah. Sorry to force you into it, it’s just that promising that was the only way I was able to get Hannah to come home last night.” She felt bad for making him tag along but knew that he wasn’t one to complain about that sort of thing. She just hoped she wasn’t ruining any other sort of plans he might have had.

“Did she run off on you or something?”

“You have no idea.” She regaled him with everything that had happened on the return trip from his house. When she was about halfway through, she noticed that he didn’t seem to be paying attention, his gaze fixated on something behind her. Before she could say something, he shot up out of his seat.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He said, his voice low and threatening.

She turns around and sees that he is addressing Bradley who was sitting at the table directly behind her.

“Eating lunch.” He said casually. “What did you think I was doing?”

“You know what I mean.” Ethan all but growls the words. After what Bradley had done to Lex, Ethan had hunted him down the following day and told him he better stay far, far away from her. And now he was sitting right behind her.

“Do I?” He stood up, acting far too cocky for Ethan’s liking. “You don’t mind me being here, do you, princess?” He uses a finger to trace down the side of her face.

Before she can slap his hand away, however, Ethan shoves him back.

“I told you to stay away from her!”

“I don’t take orders from you, Green.” He shoves back. “I go where I like.”

“Go where you like, so long as it’s nowhere near Lex.” Ethan shoves him hard, forcing him to stumble back into his table.

“Ethan, what are you doing?” She asked. They were fighting and it was entirely her fault. She knew that Ethan could get detention, or even suspended. She didn’t want either of those things to happen.

“You’re making an enemy of the wrong man.” Bradley said, coming at Ethan and punching him across the face.

They had gained the attention of the entire lunchroom now.

Ethan hit back, punching Bradley in the chin. “I’m not letting you near her.”

“I don’t need your permission.”

The two of them continued to puch each other back and forth.

“You need mine.” Lex got up and stood between them, halting in the punch-off. She knew this fight was her fault, so she needed to do something about it, and putting an end to it was the best thing she could think of. “And I say that you need to fuck off or I’ll take a trip down to the police station and tell them all about you.” She knew she couldn’t actually go to the police, but she hoped that he bought the faux threat anyway.

He scoffed. “My old man’s the chief of the HFPD. You can’t say shit against me.”

“Wanna bet?” She glared at him.

“I have to admit, you’re pretty cute when you’re angry, Princess.” He said, reaching out to touch her.

She slaps away his hand with more force than was warranted. “Try to touch me again and I’ll rip off your hand.”

He chuckles and turns to his friends. “See, I told you she was feisty.”

Ethan lunges at him, but Lex stops him.

She shakes her head, taking hold of Ethan’s hand. “He’s not worth it. Let’s just get out of here.”

He doesn’t look at her, glaring at Bradley. He was holding her hand a little too tightly. Eventually, he nodded stiffly, loosening his grip on her a little before turning and leaving the lunchroom with Lex.

* * *

They had taken Hannah out cloud watching and had decided to return to Ethan’s house for the evening. His parents were working late, so they’d have the place to themselves. Lex had set up the TV to distract Hannah, before taking Ethan out into the other room so that they could have a bit of privacy.

“How’s your face feeling?” She asked him. Some decent sized purple bruises had cropped up over the remaining hours of the school day.

“Could be better.” He says with a shrug. “Was worth it though.” He wraps an arm around her, kissing the side of her head.

“I’m sorry.” She said leaning into his embrace, tilting her head so that she could still meet his gaze.

“What are you sorry for? It wasn’t your fault.”

“It is though. You were fighting because of me.” She said.

“We were fighting because of what he did to you.” He shifts so that he was properly facing her, one hand cupping her cheek. “And we talked about this, what happened that night wasn’t your fault.”

She was having such a hard time believing his words, despite hearing the sincerity in his voice.

He kisses her forehead. “You are innocent in all of this.”

One of her hands went to his cheek, tilting his head so she could softly press her lips to his.

He pulls her flush against him so that he could continue kissing her. 

She moves so that she is now sitting straddle on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. She breaks away from the kiss, allowing them both to catch some much-needed oxygen. She glances at him before focusing her gaze on his shoulder, her hands fiddling with the collar of his shirt. “I think I want to know what it’s meant to be like.” She says softly.

“Huh?” He asked, confused.

“Sex, making love, whatever you want to call it. I want to know what it’s meant to be like. What it’s meant to feel like.” She explained, still mostly avoiding eye contact with him.

He tilts her head so that she’s now looking directly at him. He kisses her softly on the lips before traveling along her jawline.

“I love you.” She breathes, leaning into him, her hands now running up and down his chest.

He pauses in his kisses, breaking away and looking directly at her. “I love you too.” He says, removing his jacket before pulling his shirt over his head.

She kisses him with more passion than she had before, continuing to feel his chest.

He kisses back with just as much fervour. His hands going to her waist, holding her as close as he possibly could. Carefully his fingers dipped under the hem of her shirt, gently caressing the bare skin beneath.

Breaking their kiss, Lex takes off her shirt.

He couldn’t help but stare at her. He’d seen her without a shirt before, but this time seemed different. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered. He carefully traced over the myriad of scars that littered her torso, pressing a soft kiss to each one. He looks up and meets her gaze. “So beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, kids, is the end of Act 1!


	10. My Dead Gay Son

Things had started to look brighter the past few months. The three of them had survived until the end of the school year, and Lex and Ethan were spending their summer working as much as they could. They saved all the money they good to go towards their fund to get out of Hatchetfield.

Because Ethan was working at the garage owned by his dad, he was able to get away with watching Hannah at the same time. He’d managed to set up a pretty good system to keep her safe and occupied while he worked. He would let her into the breakroom with have the TV on for her as well as supply her with a number of toys and colouring books and would leave her there to play. The breakroom only had one door that led directly into the garage where he would be. And just in case she wondered out of the room without him seeing, he carried around with him a porch light, the sensor of which was pointed at the breakroom door so the light would illuminate whenever the door opened.

He was pretty pleased with his little security system and had been very excited to share it with Lex.

“You’d want to make sure the sensor is out of her reach, otherwise she’ll wonder off with it.” She’d pointed out.

“Already thought of that, babe.” He said tapping the side of his forehead with his index finger. “She’s gonna be perfectly safe.”

“I know.” She kisses him. He was probably the only other person apart from herself that she fully trusted with Hannah. She knew that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. “I’ve gotta go, have fun testing your security system.” She gives him another little kiss before heading in the direction of the mall.

While she hated her job and co-workers, working full-time did come with a healthy paycheque. And while her mum still stole it, there was always a bit more left for her afterwards. While things had started looking better for them, Lex was still beaten pretty regularly. She still tried to hide the evidence of them from Ethan when she could, but if he ever asked, she always did her best to be honest with him.

She was looking forward to her shift being over so she could find out how well Ethan’s security system had worked. She loved seeing how excited he was about it. And she had to admit it was a pretty good idea.

She was only working a half day so by mid-afternoon she was on her way over to the garage. Ethan didn’t notice her when she walked into the workshop, being busy inspecting a car engine. So, she decided that this was the perfect opportunity to test how proficient he was at responding to his porchlight. She walked over to the breakroom door, moving in front of the sensor that was sitting on a high shelf nearby.

Immediately Ethan looked up from what he was doing, directing his gaze in the direction of the breakroom. He smiled the moment he saw her standing there. “Hey, how was your shift?” He asked, wiping his hands off on a towel, walking over to her.

She shrugged. “It was alright. How’s your little system working out?” She asked, noting the illuminated porchlight sitting in his breast pocket.

“Pretty good.” He said grinning widely. “Hannah wanders out at least once every hour and I’ve noticed each time.” He said proudly.

“Good job.” She says. She gives him a few pats on the shoulder before opening the breakroom door so she could check on her sister.

Hannah was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by scribbled on papers and various toys.

“Hey, Banana.” She said going and sitting next to her. “What have you been up to today?”

“Lexi!” Hannah bounced up and down, very excited that her sister was back. “Look.” She held up several scribble drawings for her to see. She had returned to her previous level of speech, though Lex felt it was only a matter of time before she stopped speaking again.

“Wow, those look really good.” She said encouragingly. She always loved Hannah’s artwork. “Wanna write your name on it so we know it’s yours?” Lex was trying to teach Hannah how to read and write, since it seemed her school was incapable of the task. Part of her wished she could just home school Hannah but knew it would be impossible.

She nodded, picking up a pink texta.

“Do you remember how?”

She wrote what could possibly be interpreted as a ‘H’.

“Yeah, that’s the first letter, can you do the others?” Lex prompted. It was quite the task getting Hannah to write anything, and anything she did write was completely illegible. 

Hannah did a series of circular scribbles then finished off with another ‘H’. She looked rather pleased with herself, showing Lex.

“Good job, Banana.”

Hannah jumped up and went over to Ethan, holding up her handywork for him to see.

“Nice work.” He said, ruffling her hair. “Let’s see what else you can write.” He sat down on the floor next to Lex, Hannah plonking herself down on his lap. He grabs a fresh piece of paper and a pencil, writing out his name. “Can you write my name?” He points at where he’d written it. “It’s got a lot of the same letters as your name.”

“Et’.” She says, pointing in the same spot as him.

“Yeah, that’s my name. See what it looks like? Now you try writing it.” He said, trying to prompt her into doing so.

After studying his writing for a few seconds, she manages to write a rather ambiguous ‘E’ before just writing her name again. Once finished she looked up at him, expectantly.

“Yeah, that’s close enough.” He says, giving her a smile.

Lex laughed, leaning into him. She was always amazed at how good Ethan was with Hannah.

“Let’s see if you can do Lex’s name too, because that one’s a bit trickier.” He said, writing out Lex’s name on the paper.

“Lexi.” She said, drawing a heart.

Lex’s heart melted. She pulls her sister from Ethan’s lap, enveloping her in a hug, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

Ethan’s security system lasted a full two days before Hannah managed to illude him. Lex had been walking over to the garage in the evening, coming back from her shift at Toy-Zone, when she ran into her sister. Hannah had just been carelessly meandering the streets, having no real destination.

“What are you doing out here, Banana?” She asked, going straight over to her and taking hold of her hand. If Hannah was in a flighty mood, Lex didn’t want her to be able to run off on her. “Where’s Ethan?” She knew he wouldn’t let her get away from him on purpose.

Hannah shrugged, kicking loose pebbles across the pavement.

“Let’s go find him, okay?” She starts walking with Hannah in the direction of the garage. She hoped that Ethan wasn’t too far away, otherwise that meant Hannah had been out on the streets on her own for a lot longer than she should be.

She doesn’t spot him until she’s all the way back at the garage, where she sees him frantically looking around. She was at least a little relieved to see that he had noticed that Hannah had slipped past him.

She clears her throat, garnering his attention.

“Hey babe.” He says, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “How was your day?”

“It was alright. What are you looking for?” She asked. Hannah had moved behind her, so she was out of his sight.

“Oh, uh, nothing really. Just some tools.” He did not want Lex to find out that he’d lost Hannah. He just hoped she was hiding somewhere around the garage and not somewhere further in town.

“Just some tools, huh?” She knew he was blatantly lying, and since Hannah was safe and unharmed, she wanted to torture him a little bit.

“Yeah.” He could tell she wasn’t buying his excuse.

“Not Hannah?” She pulls her sister out in front of her. “Because look who I found on my way over.”

“Thank God.” He lets out a sigh of relief knowing that Hannah was alright. Though the feeling was soon replaced with dread, Lex’s wrath surely headed his way. He turns his attention back to Lex. “I’m so sorry, babe. I know you're gonna hate me for losing her, but I didn’t mean to. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’ll determine how mad I am after you tell me how she managed to escape you.” Lex said.

“Window.” Hannah said, using her hands to form a circle which she looked through, demonstrating the purpose of a window.

“Yeah, she climbed out the window.” He said, elaborating.

“Didn’t you think of that when you came up with your security system?” She was surprised that he had neglected to cover a very obvious escape route.

“I did. I tied it up with some string so that it could only open a crack.” He explained. “I though she couldn’t figure out knots so thought it would be fine.

“She can undo knots; she just can’t do them up. She likes untangling things, so probably thought it was a fun game.” She looks down at her sister. “Is that right, Banana? You thought you’d play a game with the string on the window?”

“String.” She echoed, pressing her face into Lex’s side. She then looked up, remembering why she had gone outside in the first place. “Flu-by, Lexi.” She bounced up on her tip toes.

“You saw a butterfly? Is that why you wanted to climb out the window?”

She nods.

Lex couldn’t help but give her sister a small smile. She was so innocent. All she had wanted to do was look at a butterfly. Undoubtedly Hannah had chased that butterfly and had ended up where Lex had found her.

“All this for a butterfly.” Ethan shook his head incredulously, though he too couldn’t help but smile.

“How long did you know she was missing?” Lex asked.

He glances over at a clock mounted on the wall. “About twenty minutes, though I hadn’t seen her for about an hour before then.” He said. Normally Hannah would wander out of the breakroom pretty regularly, often after something. But when she hadn’t appeared for a while he decided to go and check on her, just to make sure she was okay. That had been when he’d seen the breakroom empty and the window wide open. He had gone over and looked out to see if she was still in view, but he had had no such luck.

“Flu-by!” Hannah gasped suddenly, breaking herself free of Lex’s hand and racing outside the open garage doors.

“Hannah!” Lex ran after her, Ethan following closely behind. She soon catches her, picking her protesting sister up off the ground and sitting her on her hip.

“No, Lexi!” She flailed her arms and legs, hitting at Lex to let her go so she could continue chasing her butterfly.

“We can look at butterfly’s another time, okay?” She said trying to calm down the now crying Hannah.

“Flu-by!” She cried, continuing to try and escape Lex’s firm grip. “Flu-by!”

“It’s home time now, we can look at butterflies tomorrow.” She said, struggling to try and get Hannah to stay still.

Hannah’s eyes desperately followed the path of the butterfly as it started to fly further away. She wrenched herself from her sister and ran after it. She only made it a few metres before she tripped, plummeting to the ground. She starts screaming and crying out in pain, having skinned her knees. “Flu-by.” She said sadly, sniffing as the butterfly flew away.

It was Ethan who reached her first, scooping her up off of the ground. She cuddled into him, continuing to cry.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Lex said, inspecting the scrapes on her knees. She and Ethan walk with Hannah back into the garage and then into the breakroom.

Ethan sits down on a couch, arranging Hannah so that she was in his lap.

Lex grabbed some paper towel and wets it, bringing it over to clean the gravel out of Hannah’s knees. She crouches down in front of her and begins dabbing at the cuts.

Hannah cries, Lex’s ministrations only adding to the stinging of her knees. She kicks out, not wanting her to continue.

“You gotta stay still, Banana. It’ll be over a lot quicker that way.” Lex said. It was always hard to fix up any cuts or scrapes her sister acquired. She was just too sensitive to pain and hated anyone or anything touching her cuts. 

Reluctantly she sists still enough for Lex to finish.

“Do you want a Band-Aid?” She asks, putting the paper towel in the bin.

Hannah shook her head, curling into Ethan. She always hated Band-Aids. They were just uncomfortable and annoyed her when they pulled on her skin, not to mention the process to remove them.

Lex got up from where she had been crouched. “Should probably get her home.” She says.

Ethan nods, also standing, bringing Hannah with him as he shifted her in his arms to a better position. “Yeah.” He agreed, looking down at a now very tired looking Hannah.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want too, I can carry her.” Lex says as they move towards the exit.

“Nah, it’s fine.” He knew that her shoulder still bothered her sometimes, and he didn’t mind carrying Hannah.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” He kisses her on the cheek. “C’mon, let’s go.”

They didn’t talk much on the walk to the trailer. By the time they reached it the sun was setting and the park was thrown into deep shadows. The trailer remained dark, meaning that there was a good chance that Pamela wasn’t there.

There were a few letters pilled on the steps that led up to the front door and Lex grabbed them while she unlocked the door. She swung it open, and sure enough, the place was empty. She dumped the letters on the couch and takes Hannah from Ethan so she could get her ready for bed.

Hannah didn’t complain while Lex dressed her, though she wasn’t looking very happy. Her face was still tear-stained from earlier, though she had by now stopped crying.

“Goodnight, Banana.” Lex said kissing her forehead, tucking her under the moth-eaten blankets. “I’m just gonna be in the other room with Ethan if you need anything, okay?”

She nods. “Na-night.” She said, snuggling under the blanket.

Lex leaves the bedroom, switching off the light as she went. She sees Ethan lounging on the couch, so she seats herself on top of him, making herself comfortable.

His arms snake around her waist, pulling her closer and kisses her on the cheek.

She grabs the pile of letters she’d dumped earlier and flicks through them. She finds one from Hannah’s school and opens it. Inside was her report card along with a letter. She quickly reads the letter. “Shit.” She says sinking back into Ethan.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Hannah’s school.” She waves the letter in front of him. “They’re making her repeat first grade because her teachers can’t do their fucking job. And bonus, if she doesn’t get better grades, they’re just gonna kick her out.” She sighs, burying her face in her hands, still holding the letter.

Ethan takes it from her, skimming over it. “Can they do that?”

She shrugs, sitting up properly. “They say they can. But it’s not even Hannah’s fault that she’s not doing well. Her teachers just don’t try to get her to learn things. She’s so smart, but they don’t even give her a chance.” If she was being honest, she was pretty fed up with Hannah’s school. But there wasn’t anywhere else she could send her. Lex wished she had the money to send Hannah to a school that would really help her.

Ethan wraps an arm around her waist. “We graduate next year. As soon as we do let’s get out of this place. Then we can find Hannah a proper school to go too.”

She turns to face him. “Think we’ll have enough saved by then?” She wraps her arms around his neck.

He nods. “I think we will.”

She places a soft kiss on his lips. “Where do you think we should go?”

“Somewhere warm.” He says returning the kiss. “Somewhere far away.” He kisses her again, this one lingering a little longer. “Somewhere you’d be safe. Somewhere we’d be happy.” He continues kissing her. “Somewhere we could get married and spend out lives together.” He whispers the words between kisses then suddenly freezes, eyes going wide. “Did I say that out loud?” He almost looked scared of her answer.

She looks deeply into his eyes, searching for something she didn’t know. She shuffled closer to him, raising a hand and placing it on his cheek. She leans forwards and kisses him deeply and gently. The kiss didn’t last long and when she broke away, she returned to looking into his eyes. “I love you.” She whispered. She couldn’t imagine her life without him, couldn’t imagine a future without him. And from what he had just said, it appeared as if he felt the same.

“I love you too. I love you so damn much.” He kisses her with more fervour, his hands running up and down her back.

She kisses him back, pushing his jacket from his shoulders. She didn’t care where they ended up. It didn’t really matter, so long as she got to spend her life with him and Hannah then she’d be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'm really happy with this chapter, but here it is anyway. It also doesn't really relate to the song at all, but I had no idea what to do that would actually relate to the song so I just sort of ignored it.


	11. Seventeen

Ethan knew that Lex’s birthday was sometime during the summer, but she refused to tell him exactly when. He didn’t get why she didn’t want him to know. He wanted to do something nice to her, make the day really special. It was going to be her seventeenth after all.

“Just tell me.” He pleaded, resting his head on her shoulder where they sat on his couch.

“No.” She shook her head.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not important. You don’t need to know my birthday.” She said. Never once in her memory had her birthday been celebrated, and she was perfectly content to keep it that way.

Ethan then turned to Hannah who was sitting on the floor playing with some Play-Doh. “Hey, Banana, do you know when your sister’s birthday is?” He asks.

“She doesn’t even know when her own birthday is.” Lex said from where she was comfortably sitting on the couch.

“Birt’ay.” Hannah said, not looking up from her Play-Doh, which had been gifted to her by one of Ethan’s co-workers. All of the mechanics at the garage had become rather fond of her and would happily spend time playing with her on their breaks.

He sighs, sitting down next to Lex. “C’mon, babe, just tell me.” He whined, resting his head back on her shoulder. 

“No.”

“Please. Pretty please. Pretty please with sugar on top.” He turned his head slightly, kissing her right below her ear.

She pushes him away. “I’m not going to tell you.”

“Fine, whatever.” He said, feigning having given up. After a few seconds he pounces, starting up a tickle attack.

Lex shrieked, trying to push him away, though he was relentless. “No, stop!” She said between bouts of laughter.

“Not until you tell.” He said, continuing to tickle her.

She only lasted about a minute before giving in. “Fine, I’ll tell you.” She says, gasping for air, after laughing so hard.

He stops in his attack, sitting back. “Go on then.”

She sighs, combing her fingers through her now slightly messy hair. “It’s the 18th of August.” She said reluctantly.

He sits bolt upright. “That’s tomorrow. Your birthday is tomorrow.”

“Yeah, so?” The proximity to her birthday had been another reason she hadn’t wanted to tell him.

“I’ve gotta go get you something.” He jumped off of the couch running to grab his car keys.

“You really don’t have to.” She didn’t want him spending money on her when he could be saving it up. 

“Yes, I do.” He comes back over to her, keys in hand. He gives her a quick kiss. “Bye, love you.” He starts walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” It was starting to get late and most of the shops would be closed by now.

“To get you a present. Don’t worry, you’ll love it.” He called over his shoulder, leaving the house, shutting the door behind him.

She shakes her head in the direction he just left, smiling in spite of herself before getting up off of the couch. “C’mon, Banana, it’s time for us to go now.” She said.

Hannah holds up the Play-Doh, silently asking if she could bring it with her. 

“You can bring it home, but you can’t play with it while we walk, okay?” Lex said, grabbing the tub and lid that it belonged in.

Hannah agreed and put the Play-Doh away.

“Give your hands a wash.” She instructed, taking Hannah over to the sink and turning the tap on for her.

She clapped her hands under the water a few times before shaking them dry.

“Use the towel, please.” Lex said as water was flicked all over her. She grabs the hand towel and uses it to dry her sister’s hands. “Okay, home time now.” She takes Hannah’s hand and walk out the front door, heading towards the trailer.

She was partially dreading whatever it was that Ethan wanted to do to celebrate her birthday. She didn’t want him to do anything extravagant. She didn’t even really want him to get her a present. She hadn’t gotten a birthday present since she was about four or five, and even than it wasn’t much. She’d be lucky if she avoided a beating on her birthday. If Pamela wasn’t too drunk to forget, she’d beat up Lex badly for having made her go through labour all those years ago.

* * *

“Lex.” Ethan whisper-yelled through her partially open bedroom window on the morning of her birthday.

She stirred, slowly waking up. She looks over to see him standing just outside. She yawned and carefully extracted herself for bed, trying not to wake Hannah and walked over to him. “What are you doing?” She asked.

He grinned, not answering her question. “Get Hannah and get dressed, I’ve got some stuff planned for us to do.”

“I’ve got work.”

“No, you don’t. I called Frank and told him you were sick.” He said.

“Ethan! You can’t do that! We need the money.” She couldn’t believe that he had cancelled her shift. She crosses her arms and glares at him.

“Don’t be mad, you’ll have fun today, I promise.” He smiles sweetly at her.

She huffs. “Fine.” She supposes she has nothing to lose, seeing as he already cleared her schedule for her. She walked back over to the bed and gently wakes up Hannah, getting her dressed before dressing herself.

She goes back over to the window, opening it further so that she and Hannah could climb out without disturbing their still sleeping mother. “Do you wanna go out first and have Ethan catch you?” She asked her.

She didn’t say anything, sticking close by Lex.

She made the decision for her. “You go first, okay?” She lifts up her sister and passes her out to Ethan through the window.

He takes her and continues to hold her. Hannah was only half awake and just clung to whoever she was closest too.

Lex quickly climbed through the window, jumping onto the ground below with well-practised ease. “So, what’s the plan?” She asks, wrapping an arm around him.

“Well, I thought that our first stop should be breakfast, my shout, of course.” He said, hitching Hannah up a little higher on his hip. He starts walking out of the trailer park.

She starts walking alongside him. “You don’t have to do that. You shouldn’t spend money on us.” She said. “We’re meant to be saving up for next year, remember?”

“Don’t worry, babe, I’ve got it covered.” He smiles at her, kissing the side of her head. “Relax and enjoy the day.”

* * *

Lex had to admit that she had had a good day. The sun was just starting to set, sending a golden glow throughout the park. She had made herself comfortable, lying on the grass and resting her head on Ethan’s stomach. In her periphery she could see Hannah sitting a few metres away by a tree where she was happily occupied pulling apart leaves.

“Have you had a good day?” He asks her, his fingers combing through her hair.

“Yeah, I have.” She turns her head so that she’s looking at him. She smiles softly. “Thank you.” She could honestly say that he had given her the best birthday she’d ever had. Even if when she went home she got beaten up, it wouldn’t ruin the day for her.

“Good.” He smiles back at her. 

She lets out a sigh. “Sometimes I wish that I could just be a normal teenager, you know?” She says wistfully. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to take care of Hannah, she loved her sister. But she would happily go without the beatings, or to just be a sister to Hannah, rather than a more mothering role.

“Yeah, I get that.” He says. “But realistically I don’t think it’s gonna happen, babe. Maybe when we get out of here, we’ll find a better normal.” He interlaces his fingers with hers.

She smiles. “When we get out of this Godforsaken town, we’ll make a new normal, and we’ll be happy.” 

They both lie there, silently dreaming about their future before Ethan sits up, causing her head to slide into his lap. “Get up, it’s time for you to get your present.” He pulls her up into a sitting position.

“You didn’t have to get me anything. Spending the day with you and Hannah is all the present I need.” She says protesting slightly as he digs around in his backpack.

He pulls out a black rectangular jewellery box and hands it too her, hardly able to hide his excitement. “Open it.”

She looks a little sceptical. She didn’t think of herself as much of a jewellery person, not that she could afford any. She always thought that jewellery and accessories were a bit of a waste of money, there were more practical things she could spend it on. Though she wasn’t about to say any of this to Ethan. She could tell he’d put a lot of thought into this. 

Slowly she opens the box. Inside was a simple silver heart-shaped locket. “It’s beautiful.” She said taking it out and admiring it. It really was beautiful in its simplicity. Maybe she was wrong about jewellery.

“Look inside.” He said, watching her reaction closely.

She prised the locket open and gasped. In one half was a photo of the three of them. On the other half was a series of engraved scribbles, which she could tell was Hannah’s illegible handwriting. She looks over at Ethan, amazed.

“It says ‘we love you’.” He said, translating the writing for her. 

“Did you seriously pull this off in just an afternoon?” She asks, recalling him rushing out the door the previous day. She couldn’t believe he had gotten this done in that amount of time, especially considering the amount of thought that had clearly gone into it. 

“No, I’ve had this for a while actually.” He said, before suddenly turning a little nervous. “Do you like? I know you’re not much of a jewellery person, but I figured…”

She kissed him, cutting off his nervous rambling. “I love it.” She said reassuring him. And she did love it. Sure, it wasn’t something practical, like a blender, but it was something special. She knew she’d always treasure this gift.

He smiles. “Do you wanna put it on?”

She nods, turning away from him and pulling her hair over her shoulder.

He takes the locket from her hands, doing up the clasp so that it now hung around her neck. He kisses her right below her ear. “Happy birthday.” He whispers.

She turns back around, kissing him on the lips, one hand going to his cheek, the other resting on his shoulder.

He kisses her in return, pulling her onto his lap.

They only break apart when Hannah shrieks and comes running over to them. “Lexi!” She says, holding out a leaf which had a tiny green caterpillar sitting on it.

“You found a caterpillar.” Lex says pointing at the bug. “They turn into butterflies.”

Hannah looked at the caterpillar curiously. “Flu-by?” She squinted at it, trying to make it look like a butterfly.

“It’s not a butterfly yet. Right now, it’s a caterpillar.” Lex didn’t want to have to try explaining metamorphosis to Hannah. She knew her sister wouldn’t be able to understand.

“Pretty.” She said, noticing the locket hanging around Lex’s neck. She grabs hold of the pendant, turning it this way and that.

“You like it? Ethan got it for me.” She opens it up to show Hannah what was inside. “There’s a picture of all three of us. And do you see your writing?” She points to the appropriate halves of the locket.

“Lexi, Et’, ‘Annah.” She said.

“Yeah, we’re all there.” She closes the locket, letting it fall onto her chest.

The sunlight catches on the silver pendant, causing it to flash in Hannah’s eyes. She cries out, scrunching up her eyes, rubbing them.

“Is it too bright, Banana?” Lex asked, noting her sister’s reaction, pulling her into a hug.

She nods, pressing her face into Lex’s shoulder.

She sighs. “It’s probably about time we head home.” She looks over to Ethan.

He smiles. “Yeah, come on, let’s get you girls home.”

The three of them stand up, though Lex ends up carrying Hannah. They make their way back over to the trailer park. They walk slower than they normally would, not wanting their time together to come to an end, though Hannah was seemed rather insistent on getting home.

When they reach the still open bedroom window of the trailer, Lex boosts her sister up and through the gap. She then turns to Ethan, wrapping her arms around him and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Thank you for today.” She said, smiling at him. She really did have an amazing day. “And thank you for my present.” One of her hands leaves him to fiddle with the locket.

He smiles, giving her a quick kiss in return. “You’re most welcome.”

“Lexi.” Hannah calls from inside the trailer.

“Well, I best be going.” She says, smiling at him before turning and climbing into the window.

“Hey, Lex.” Ethan says before she disappears out of view.

“Yeah?” She comes back over to the window, sticking her head out of it as she leant on the sill. 

He pulls her in for a long lingering kiss, before he pulls back grinning at her. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” She says smiling at him, before Hannah pulls her away.

“Lexi.” She whined.

“What is it, Banana?” She asked, glancing back over her shoulder to see Ethan wave and walk off.

“Scared.” She murmured.

“What’s scaring you?” She took her hand and walked her over to the bed where the two of them sat down.

“Mama mad.” She whispers.

That’s when Lex notices the banging and clattering around outside of their room. She had been too distracted by Ethan to have noticed it earlier. “Don’t worry. She won’t hurt you.” She wraps her arms around her sister, holding her close.

The door then banged open, Pamela standing there. “You.” She said pointing straight at Lex.

Despite Hannah protest, Lex got to her feet and walked over to her mother. “Yes?”

“Where’s my money?” She demanded.

“I’ve told you before, mum, I get paid every second Friday. It’s Monday today.” She tries to explain.

He mother slaps her out of frustration before spying the locket hanging around Lex’s neck. “What the fuck is this?” She uses it to pull Lex closer to her. “This what you’re spending my money on?”

“No, it was a present.” She tries to pry her mother’s fingers away.

Pamela scoffed, twisting the chain around her hand, causing Lex to be pulled even closer to her. “I don’t believe your lies for a second.” Using the chain of the necklace she pulls Lex out into the main room before throwing her to the floor. Before she has a chance to get up, Pamela sits on top of her, grabbing the chain once more and twisting it tighter and tighter. “I’m gonna ask you one last time; where’s my money?”

“Mum, please, I can’t breathe.” She gasped as the chain began constricting her windpipe. 

“Answer the fucking question.” Pamela made the chain go even tighter, the metal links digging deep into the skin of Lex’s neck.

She pulled at it, trying to get it to loosen enough for her to get in a decent breath of air.

“Answer me!”

She opened her mouth, but no words came out, only her strangled gasps for oxygen.

The silence only made Pamela grow angrier. She continued pulling and twisting the necklace tighter and tighter, watching as Lex’s face turned purple.

She struggled against her mother’s grip, but her attempts grew weaker as she continued to be unable to breathe. Her vision was growing progressively dark and all she thought of was her wish   
for Hannah to be safe.


	12. Shine a Light

As soon as Pamela had walked out of the bedroom, dragging Lex behind her, Hannah had ducked beneath the bed where she would be safest. She could hear her sister struggling in the other room and the increasing level of anger coming from her mother. She hoped that Lex would be okay. It didn’t sound as if she would be. 

She heard Lex say she couldn’t breathe. What was Pamela doing to her? Hannah knew that breathing was important and that things that didn’t breathe weren’t alive. Did this classify as an emergency? She hoped it did because she didn’t want to get in trouble.

She sneaked a hand out from beneath the bed, grabbing the mobile that Lex had discarded on the bed. Hannah had been taught to call Ethan if it was an emergency and Lex couldn’t get them out of whatever the situation was.

Holding down the ‘home’ button, she waited for the phone to ping before speaking into the voice command. “Call Et’.” She whispered, hoping the device could hear her. She couldn’t read well enough to be able to find Ethan’s contact.

“Calling Ethan Green.” The robotic voice of the phone said before it began ringing. Lex had set Ethan’s nickname to be ‘Eat’ so that the phone would still call him when Hannah said his name.

“Hey, what’s up?” He said, picking up after only a few rings.

“Et’?” Hannah whispered. She was absolutely terrified as the noise outside of her room became eerily quiet. Fearful tears were pooling in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

“Hannah? What’s wrong?” He knew that he’d only ever get a call from Hannah if it was an emergency.

“Lexi.” She said. Her words weren’t working well enough. She couldn’t vocalise that something bad was happening and she didn’t know what it was.

“Is Lexi there?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. Hannah was clearly distressed, but the smallest things could illicit such a reaction from her. His best course of action would be to start making his way back to the trailer while trying to get as much information out of Hannah as he could, and hopefully speak to Lex and find out what was actually happening.

“Mama.” She sniffled, trying to hold in her crying so she could speak while still being quiet. She thought she’d heard the front door open and close, but she wasn’t sure if her mum was actually gone. “Mama got her.” She managed to say before properly sobbing. Pamela attacked Lex regularly, but for some reason this time seemed scarier to her.

“Okay.” He took a few deep breaths. “I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon.” He said. He now knew that Lex was hurt, but to what extent, he couldn’t say. Hannah was a smart kid, and he knew that she wouldn’t call him if Lex had just gotten a few bruises. He quickened his pace. 

“Scared.” Her voice came out as a shaky whisper.

“I know. I’ll be there real soon, okay Banana?” he had started jogging. He silently cursed himself for not having brought his car that day. Luckily he hadn’t gotten too far away from the trailer and it soon came into view. He goes straight for the window, not knowing if Pamela was still inside, and climbs in. He spots Hannah hiding beneath the bed, tears streaming down her face. He pulls her out. “Where’s Lexi?” He asks, seeing that she was physically unhurt.

Hannah silently points out into the main room.

He goes out into the room, there’s no sign of Pamela, though quickly sees Lex lying on the ground, unmoving. He runs over to her, kneeling by her side, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He notices the necklace he had given her not too long ago was wrapped so tightly around her neck that it had pierced the skin in places. With fumbling fingers, he undoes the clasp, discarding the locket to the side, hoping that he wasn’t too late.

“No, no, no.” He says rather desperately. He holds a finger beneath her nose to see if she was breathing, and too his great relief he felt a puff of warm air. “You’re gonna be okay, babe, you’re gonna be okay.”

She was breathing, though her breaths were far too shallow.

He didn’t know what to do to help her. All he could do was to watch to make sure that she kept breathing, though his eyes couldn’t help but continuously wander to the deep ligature marks on her neck.

He hears a floorboard creak and turns his head to see Hannah standing in the bedroom doorway. “Go back into your room, Banana.” He says. He remembers her freaking out when Lex had blacked out that time.

“Lexi?” She says, nervously, the occasional tear still falling down her face.

“She’ll be okay.” He says, trying to reassure himself just as much as Hannah. He was most certainly glad that she had called him.

Hannah nods and goes back into the bedroom.

He turns his attention back to Lex. Her breathing was raspy, occasionally catching in her throat. He silently prayed to whoever would listen, begging that she would wake up and be okay. He felt terrible, like it was his fault this had happened. He’d given her the necklace. He’d handed Pamela her weapon.

He held one of her hands in both of his, willing her to wake up. He knew he should probably move her somewhere she’d be more comfortable, but he didn’t want to risk hurting her more. He didn’t know if she was hurt anywhere else.

“C’mon, babe. Please just wake up.” He whispered to her, using a hand to brush loose strands of hair out of her face. Then he felt it. The hand he was holding squeezed back. It was weak but he felt it, he was positive he had felt her squeeze his hand. “Lex?” He looked at her intently, seeing her eyes move beneath closed lids.

Slowly she opened her eyes, looking up at him. She went to say something, but she only managed to choke on her words. She puts a hand to her throat coughing as she struggled to catch her breath.

Ethan rolls her onto her side just as she threw up. Her breathing came as short gasps, still unable to properly catch her breath. She couldn’t fully remember what had happened, and so didn’t know why she couldn’t breathe.

“You’re okay, babe.” He said, realising that she was panicking. He pulls her away from the puddle of vomit on the floor and helps her sit up. 

She tries to speak again, but still no sound comes out and starts coughing again.

“Don’t try and speak.” He said quickly, not wanting her to start choking again.

She looks frantically around the room, trying to remember what had happened. She then sees the locket abandoned on the ground. Her hand goes back to her throat, noticing the tenderness as the memories come back to her. Then she remembers Hannah. She looks at Ethan with wide fearful eyes, hoping he understands what she wants to know.

“Lexi?” Hannah says, appearing once more in the doorway, having heard Ethan talking to her. When she sees Lex sitting up and awake, she runs over and gives her a big hug. “Was scared Lexi.”

She hugs her sister back, checking her over to make sure she was unhurt.

Ethan watched the two sisters for a few moments before placing a hand on Lex’s shoulder. “I’m gonna run home and grab my car and then come back here so I can get you two out of here.” He said quietly.

She looks at him, frowning, and shakes her head.

“Lex, your mum strangled you today. You were practically dead on the floor when I got here. You’re gonna stay with me for tonight at the very least.” He couldn’t shake the image of Lex lying there completely still from his mind. He wasn’t about to let her stay here when there was every chance Pamela could return and want to finish the job. He didn’t want to leave her for a single moment, but knew she wouldn’t be able to make the walk back to his place.

Lex looks deeply into his eyes, studying him. After several long moments she reluctantly nods. She knows that she can keep Hannah safe, but she doesn’t want to cause Ethan more stress. She could tell that whatever had happened between her blacking out and waking up was playing on his mind. She let him take care of her that night, and then she’d take Hannah back to their home.

He looks a little more relieved, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. “I’ll be right back.” He said before turning to Hannah. “You take care of your sister until I come back.”

Hannah nods, hugging Lex a little tighter.

He gets up off of the floor and walks over to the door. Before opening it, he turns back to look at them.

Lex looks over at him and waves him off.

He smiles softly at her before opening the door and leaving.

After a few minutes, Lex lets go of Hannah, knowing that they needed to pack a bag if they were going to spend the night at Ethan’s. She slowly gets to her feet and walks into the bedroom, the exertion of which made her slightly out of breath. She ignores this and goes about the room, shoving various items into her backpack. Once satisfied, she goes back out into the main room, where she once again spots the locket on the floor. She picks it up, placing it in her pocket before going and sitting on the couch. 

She had started struggling to breathe again, and sat hunched over, trying to regain it without Hannah noticing.

Hannah does notice and looks at her concerned. “Call Et’?” She asks holding up Lex’s phone, which she hadn’t put down since calling Ethan originally.

Lex shakes her head. She was fine, just a little out of breath. There was no need to worry Ethan. He would be back soon anyway.

Hannah nods and goes over to the small window that was by the front door and looks through it, looking out for both Ethan and Pamela.

Lex had managed to get her breathing back to what it was when Ethan left by the time he returns.

“Ready to go?” he asks as he enters the trailer.

She nods and stands, swinging the backpack over her shoulder.

He goes straight over to her side to help her, but she just brushes him off. She’s perfectly capable of walking to his car. He was about to say something, but she gives him a look and he closes his mouth.

He does give her a sideways glance when he notices her increasingly laboured breaths when they’re all seated in his car. He grabs her hand, interlacing their fingers. “Squeeze my hand if you can’t breathe, okay?” He says.

She gives him the thumbs up. Despite not particularly liking how overbearing he was being, she did appreciate that he was trying to take care of her. She knew that however she looked when he had first arrived at the trailer must have rattled him and had him more concerned for her than he normally was.

When they arrived at his house, he escorted the two girls inside, taking Lex to the couch and making her sit down. “I’m gonna go put Hannah to bed, you stay here, okay?”

She gives him thumbs up.

He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head before taking Hannah’s hand and guiding her up the stairs.

Lex pulled the locket out of her pocket and looked down at it. She opens it and smiles softly. Her neck was a little too sore for her to put it back on in that moment, but once she’d healed back up, she was going to wear it all the time. She puts it back in her pocket when she’s hears Ethan come plodding down the stairs.

He comes and sits down beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “How are you going?” He asked. “Are you okay?”

She shrugged, leaning into him. She didn’t really know how she felt. She knew that she was tired and that breathing was hard and hurt a little. Her neck was aching the sort of ache that she knew would be infinitely worse in the morning. But all those things were physical. She didn’t know what she felt emotionally. How was one meant to feel when one’s mother almost strangled them almost to death?

He kisses the side of her head. “Anything you wanna do?”

She curled into him, using his shoulder as a pillow, closing her eyes.

He chuckles. “Fair enough, you’ve had a long day.” He reached over her, pulling on the lever that activated the recliner part of the couch so that the two of them were more or less lying down.

She kisses his jaw before snuggling back into him and quickly going to sleep.

* * *

Upon awakening, Lex found that she was in the same position she’d fallen asleep in. She moves her head slightly to get more comfortable but finds the slight movement excruciating. Her hand goes to her throat, which feels worse than yesterday, as she tries to cry out in pain. The sound gets caught in her throat and she begins coughing. She’s gasping for air but isn’t getting enough as she continues to cough.

She starts shoving at Ethan to try and get him to wake up. Each movement was painful, even more so since she was lying partially on top of him. She willed him to wake up as she found it harder and harder to get enough oxygen into her lungs.

He eventually stirred, waking up. “Morning.” He said sleepily, not quite knowing what was going on. He opens his eyes and registers what he’s seeing. “Oh my God, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He sat up, bringing her up with him.

She looks at him desperately.

He puts one hand at the back of her neck, supporting her head. He could see that during the night her neck had swollen a bit, which couldn’t be helping her breathing and pain level. He continues holding her until she’s got her still shallow breathing under control.

“I’m gonna get you some water, okay?” He says softly, kissing her forehead before carefully extracting himself and going into the kitchen.

He soon returns with a glass of water and hands it to her. She takes it gratefully and sips. She now sees that it was only the very early hours of the morning. So early that Hannah wasn’t even awake yet. She sighs. It was going to be a very long day and she was going to be in a lot of pain. Suddenly she remembered that she was meant to work today. She hits Ethan’s leg to get his attention.

“What’s up?” He said, looking at her to see if he could figure out what she was wanting to say.

She mimes writing something down.

“I’ll get you a notebook.” He jumped back off of the couch and ran into another room. She heard him rummaging around before he returned with a notepad and pen. He hands it to her.

 _I have work today._ She writes, showing it to him.

“Yeah, you’re not going to work.” He said. The fact that she couldn’t even move without being in pain paired with the fact she couldn’t talk meant that there was no way he was letting her go.

 _I already missed yesterday; I can’t miss another shift._ She needed to work. Her mother’s entire attack had been fuelled by the need for money, and if Lex didn’t go to work then there would be no money to satiate Pamela.

“I’ll tell Frank that you’re still sick. You aren’t going to work.”

She glared at him. He didn’t understand that she needed to go to work. She crosses her arms and turns away from him as best as she could. The fact that she couldn’t talk was only adding to her growing feeling of frustration.

He carefully wraps his arms around her. “Babe, how do you expect to be able to work? You can’t talk and you can barely move your head.”

She shrugs, scribbling down on the notebook, holding it up over her shoulder to show him. _I’ll figure something out._

It was then that Hannah came jumping down the stairs. She appeared to be in a relatively good mood as she came running over. “Lexi.” She says sitting on her lap. “Funny neck.” She says pointing as the colourful bruises that ringed lex’s neck.

“You gotta be careful, Banana.” Ethan says, pulling her onto his lap. “Lexi’s neck is real sore, and she can’t talk at the moment.” He didn’t want Hannah to accidentally hurt Lex further.

Hannah’s facial expression went from a big happy smile to one of complete and utter sadness. “Kiss?” She said, wriggling closer to her sister. She gets onto her knees, reaching up and carefully places the softest of kisses on Lex’s neck. She sits back down, looking at her expectantly. “Better?”

Lex smiles at her, writing something down on the notebook before handing it to Ethan to read aloud. She hadn’t realised how much harder it would be to talk to Hannah, having everything she said go through Ethan.

“She says ‘Thank you, Banana, it feels better than it did before, but it’s still sore’.” He reads.

Hannah nods. “Be all better soon.” She states matter-of-factly.

“Sure will be.” Ethan said, giving her a squeeze before standing back up. “I’m gonna get us some breakfast.” He says.

Hannah jumps up and grabs his hand, bouncing up and down. She was hungry and wanted to be first at the food.

“You stay put.” He said, pointing at Lex. “I’ll bring something out to you.” He runs into the kitchen, coming back with an egg timer. “Set this off if you need anything.” He says handing it to her before going back into the kitchen, Hannah in tow.

Lex slumps in the couch. She just knew that the entire day was going to be long and boring. She couldn’t do anything, and if she tried, Ethan would stop her. She grabs the remote and turns on the TV, lying back in the recliner. It doesn’t take her long to go back to sleep.

* * *

Lex had slept on and off for the entire day. She’d wake up to find Ethan playing with Hannah or the two of them watching TV together. 

She only ever got up to use the bathroom or to eat something. Part of her was glad that Ethan had put his foot down and not let her go off to work, she didn’t think that she wouldn’t survived. The other part of her was worried about what would happen if she didn’t go into work and get her paycheque.

She kept having nightmares about all the what-ifs and would wake up gasping for air. This time when she woke up Ethan wasn’t within her line of sight. It was dark outside, and she couldn’t hear anything apart from her shallow breaths. She doesn’t know what to do. In her nightmare she had been alone, battered and bruised and left for dead, and here she was awake and alone.

She remembers the egg time that Ethan had given her and begins frantically searching for it, trying not to move her head too much. Eventually she finds it wedged between couch cushions and quickly sets it off. She doesn’t know how late it is but wasn’t in the mood for caring about waking people up with the loud noise the timer produced.

Ethan’s footsteps came hurrying down the stairs. He sees that she had become slightly panicked and goes straight over and sits beside her. He takes hold of her hand. “You okay?” 

She rests her head on his shoulder, ignoring any pain it gave her. “Bad dream.” She says her voice an incredibly hoarse whisper.

He kisses the top of her head. “Hey, you got your voice back.” He gives her a squeeze. 

“Yeah.” She whispers. It hurt to talk but she was just glad she could make a sound without having a coughing fit. She knew that she was at least healing.

“Do you wanna talk about your dream?” He asks after several moments of silence.

She didn’t think that he’d understand. She also didn’t know if she wanted to tell him. It wasn’t like she didn’t know what her dream was about. It was a manifestation of her real-life worries. That the next time her mum wanted money that Ethan would be too late. That Pamela would go after Hannah next and that there would be nothing she could do to stop her. She didn’t even realise that her thoughts had caused her to start silently shedding tears until Ethan wiped one away.

“It’s okay.” He said. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

She clings onto him tightly. It always surprised her how safe she felt wrapped up in his arms. It was like here with him she couldn’t be harmed. His embrace was impenetrable, and he wouldn’t let anything get near her. He was her shelter against the storm. She loved him and she never wanted to be without him. Feeling so strongly about someone made her scared of her own emotions. 

He held her as tightly as he dared, not wanting to hurt her. He rubbed her back, wanting to at least bring her some level of comfort. It broke his heart whenever he saw her cry. He presses a lingering kiss to the top of her head. “Go back to sleep, babe.” He whispers. “I’ll be right here with you, keeping you safe.”


	13. Lifeboat

He was avoiding her, and she knew it. She hadn’t really noticed at first. She had just assumed that the lack of interaction together was due to them both being busy with work and Hannah. But now that school had resumed, it had become more obvious. 

He’d only talk to her out of necessity, and when he did talk he never met her gaze. He’d make excuses to not hang out with her during their free time. She didn’t know what she’d done to make him do this, and it was driving her insane.

She missed him. It made her feel bad for having done the same thing to him the previous year. She wanted to know why he was avoiding her. Did he not want to be with her anymore? Did she do something to piss him off? She needed to talk to him and get to the bottom of this.

She knew that he hadn’t liked it when she took Hannah and returned to the trailer. He never liked it when that happened. She did point out to him that she had only agreed to stay one night and had ended up doing a second.

Or maybe he was upset with her for going back to work when she could barely talk and hardly move her head. But he knew that she needed the money. She needed to have something to give her mum and they needed every cent they could get if they were going to make it out of Hatchetfield after graduation.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

She turns from where she’d been walking to her next class to find Bradley coming up behind her, his football player buddies cornering her. “Mr Madej held him back.” She lied quickly. “We’re meant to meet at our lockers.” She hoped he would just leave her alone.

He walks a few steps closer. “Well, until he shows up, you’re free real estate.” He said, his friends laughing.

“Fuck you.” She said, looking at him with disgust. She hated that people like him existed.

He grabs her shoulder, holding her so that her back was pressed against a row of lockers before he leans forward and whispers in her ear. “That’s what I plan on doing to you, princess.”

She shoves him away before she attempts to make her way out of the circle of football players.

Bradley grabs her arm, pulling her back towards him. “Hey, not so fast, princess.”

Before she has a chance to do anything, Ethan pushes his way into the circle, grabbing Bradley and slamming him into the lockers.

“I told you to stay away from her!”

“And I don’t take my orders from you, Green. I do what I like around here. She should consider herself lucky that I chose her.” He says, far too smug.

Ethan punches him across the face, causing him to stumble. “You should consider yourself lucky that I haven’t murdered you for what you did to her.” He said, anger burning in his eyes.

Bradley wiped away a dribble of blood that trickled down from the split lip he now sported. “I didn’t do shit.” He says punching Ethan, getting him in the eye.

Lex runs forwards, placing herself between the two of them. “Fuck off, Bradley.” She said. She turned, grabbed Ethan’s hand and dragged him away from the football players and into an empty classroom. “Are you okay?” She asks as so as they are inside.

“I’m fine.” He winced a little as he felt his eye. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m fine.” She said, brushing hair out of his face so she could judge how badly hurt his eye was. He’d end up with a bad bruise and a bit of swelling, that was for sure. “Should get some ice for that.”

He brushes her away. “I’ll be alright.” He said.

“Are you sure?” She said, rather doubtfully.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He starts making his way towards the door.

“Where are you going?” She didn’t want him to go now that they were finally alone together. She wanted to know what was going on with him. Why he was being so distant.

“Class.” He said, opening the door. “You should get going too, don’t want to be late.” He exits, leaving her alone in the classroom.

She felt hurt by this. She wanted to spend time with him, but he was continuously getting the cold shoulder.

With a sigh, she left the room and made her way to her next class. It was a class that she didn’t spend with Ethan. So, instead of being productive like she normally would be, she spent the entire time thinking about him.

She didn’t see him again until the very end of the day, but she didn’t have time to stop and try and talk to him, as she had to rush off to work. Even though he was avoiding her, he wasn’t avoiding Hannah, and would still watch her after school.

He’d started working in the afternoons and evenings too, rather than just holidays and weekends. It was all for their upcoming escape, so clearly, he still cared enough to want to come with them. There had been times in the past that Lex had doubted his feelings for her, and despite him ignoring her, she still knew he loved her. A small part in the back of her mind questioned it sometimes, but the fact that he was helping even more so with gathering funds than before proved to her that he loved her, even if he wasn’t doing the best job of showing it.

She spent her entire shift at Toy-Zone coming up with ways to make Ethan talk when she went to pick up Hannah that evening. She felt that the best course of action was that before collecting her sister from the garage breakroom, that she’d take Ethan out the back of the building and make him tell her what was going on.

She practically jogged the entire way to the garage. She spots him just inside the entrance working on a car. Not saying a word, she grabs his arm and drags him all the way around the building until they were in as private a spot as possible.

“What’s going on with you, Ethan?” She asks. “Why are you avoiding me?”

He looks solely at the ground, though she was able to see the black eye he now sported. “I’m not trying to avoid you, babe.” He says after a moment, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. 

“Well, you’re doing a damn good job of it.” She says, crossing her arms. 

“I know… It’s just… I’m sorry.” He leans against the brick wall of the garage, sliding down it so that he’s now sitting on the ground. He looks sad and tired.

She kneels beside him. “Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I miss you.” She puts a hand to his cheek, causing him to turn and face her. She hadn’t noticed until that moment the dark circles beneath his rather bloodshot eyes. Now she was getting concerned. What was happening to him that was causing him to avoid her?

“I love you, Lex. You know, that right?” He knew he had to tell her why he had been acting towards her the way that he had.

She nods. “Yeah, I know.” She was ready to listen, to hear whatever it was that he was going to say. “I love you too.” She takes his hand, giving it a small squeeze.

He squeezes back, giving her a small smile. “Before I say anything, I need you to answer something for me.”

“Okay.” She didn’t know where he was going with this.

He sighs, looking away from her. “Why do you still where that locket?”

She was confused by his question. “What’s that got to do with this?” She asks, looking down at the locket she had returned to her being around her neck after the swelling and majority of bruising had gone down.

“Please, just tell me the answer.” He still wasn’t looking at her, but he still held her hand tightly.

She thinks for a few seconds before giving an answer. “Because you gave it to me. I will always treasure it because you gave it to me. It reminds me of you and Hannah and reminds me how much I love you and you love me. I wear it because even when we’re apart, it feels like your right there with me.” While she spoke, her hand was wrapped around the silver heart. It didn’t matter to her what her mother had used it for. It was Ethan and Hannah who were important, and they were the ones the locket represented.

“I don’t understand how you can feel that way about it after what your mum did.” He said. “Because whenever I see it all I can think about is the fact that I handed her a weapon that she almost killed you with.”

She was now starting to see why he had been avoiding her the way he had been. She went to say something, but he wasn’t finished talking.

“Whenever I look at you, all I can think about is the fact that you could’ve died. Every time I close my eyes, I see you lying practically dead on the floor. Whenever I sleep, I dream that you did die and that there was nothing I could do about it.”

Lex wiped a tear that had started rolling down his cheek. “But I didn’t die. I’m right here.” She says softly.

He turns to look at her. He reaches out a hand, using it to cup her cheek. “I know. I just keep getting caught up in all of the what-ifs. And I keep thinking what if next time you don’t make it.” His fingers trace down the necklace chain before wrapping his hand around hers which was still holding the locket.

“I’m not planning on dying anytime soon.” She says, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

He rests his forehead against hers as they break apart. “Yeah, but it seems that every time your mum goes after you, she gets a bit closer to actually killing you.” He wraps his arms around her, holding her tight. He had missed her too, and now that he was finally expressing his fears to her, he doesn’t want to be without her. He doesn’t want her mother anywhere near her.

She hugs him back. “Well, pretty soon we’ll be out of here, and you won’t have to think about that stuff.” She had gone through periods of thinking these same thoughts as Ethan, but she just suppressed them as best as she could because she couldn’t live her life thinking like that. 

“Will you survive another year?” If he was being honest, he was pretty sure that if Lex stayed with her mother that it was highly likely that she wouldn’t make it until the following summer.

“I don’t know.” She said truthfully. “I want to, though. I want to get out of this town with you and Hannah.” 

He keeps hugging her, though turns so that he could kiss the side of her head. “We’ll get out of here.” He was going to do whatever he could to make sure that the three of them made it out of Hatchetfield.

“I’ve been thinking, and I think we should go to California.” She says.

“Yeah?” He says, moving back a bit so that he could see her properly.

“Yeah. It meets all of your criteria; warm, far away, safe, we can be happy there.” She pauses, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, before speaking in a much softer voice. “We could get married and spend our lives together there.”

He smiles and pulls her in for a kiss, pressing his lips softly against hers. They break apart after a few seconds, and he looks deeply into her eyes. “Someday I’ll get you a ring and propose to you properly.” He said, taking her hand and rubbing his thumb gently across the back of it.

“You don’t have to do that.” She knew that rings where expensive, and she didn’t need him to spend that kind of money on her.

He kisses her again, though this one was much quicker. “Yeah, I do.”

“Fine, but it needs to be less than $100.” She says, smiling.

“We’ll see.” He was about to kiss her for a third time when the porch light that had been sitting in his pocket lit up. “Looks like Hannah’s gotten out.” He says, gesturing to it.

“She’s probably wondering why I haven’t come to pick her up yet.” She says, getting to her feet, still holding Ethan’s hand.

He follows her up and they begin walking back around the building. They soon round the corner and enter the garage, where Hannah was soon spotted wandering around.

“Hey, Banana.” Lex said as they went over to her.

“Lexi!” She ran over and jumped into Lex’s arms.

She let go of Ethan’s hand so that she could pick up her sister. “Was today a good day?” She asks.

She shrugged. “Got paper for you.” She said.

“Oh yeah? Where is it?” She knew that having gotten paper was Hannah speak for she got a note at school.

Hannah points in the direction of the break room and the three of them go over there. When they go through the doorway, Hannah wriggles herself out of Lex’s arms and goes over to where her schoolbag lay discarded. She opens it up and rummaged through it until she withdrew a crumpled piece of paper, handing it to her sister.

Lex takes it and smooths it out so she can read it. She frowns, seeing that it was about parent-teacher interviews. It was just a standard note given to every student, but an extra page had been added to Hannah’s saying that there would need to be a meeting with the principal. She knew that this was going to be a meeting about the school kicking Hannah out. She’d thought that they’d wait at least until the end of term, but it seemed that the school was far too eager to get rid of her. Lex folded up the paper, sticking it in her pocket so she wouldn’t have to think about it until later.

“Bounce.” Hannah said climbing onto the couch, starting to use it as a trampoline.

Ethan grabs her out of the air. “Hey, you know you’re not supposed to jump on the furniture.” He said.

She giggles and flops backwards so that he was now holding her upside down.

“You’re upside-down, Banana.” Lex said going over to the two of them.

She continued to giggle. “No, you uppa-down.” She said, pointing at her sister.

“Well, it’s time to be the right way up.” She picks up Hannah, pulling her out of Ethan’s arms and onto her feet. “Ethan’s got more work to do, and you’ve gotta do some writing practice.”

Hannah frowned. She wanted to continue having fun with Ethan, she didn’t want to do any writing.

“Don’t worry, Banana.” He said. “We’ll be able to play again real soon, but you gotta do what Lexi says first though.”

“Yeah, c’mon, we’ll have fun.” Lex grabbed her sister’s hand and brought her over to a table where they sat down. She grabbed out a pencil and some paper, quickly writing down the alphabet on it for Hannah to copy, before handing the paper and pencil over to her. “Can you write the alphabet?” She asked.

Hannah frowned at the paper before starting to scribble her own drawing all over it.

Lex grabs her hand to stop her. “It’s writing time, you can draw later. Write out the alphabet please.” She knew that Hannah was smart enough to do this. She wanted to prove to her school that Hannah was capable of it. 

“Hard.” She said, laying her head down on the table.

“It’ll be easier the more you practice.” Lex said, pulling her back up. “Come on, you can do it.”

“No.” Hannah threw the pencil across the room, crossing her arms.

She sighs, getting up and walking across the room to retrieve the pencil.

Hannah uses this opportunity to hide beneath the table, barricading herself in with chairs.

“Hannah, come out from there please.” Lex said, trying to pull one of the chairs away.

“No.” She pushes the chair hard against Lex before pulling it back into her blockade. 

“Why not?” She knew that Hannah didn’t always like doing her writing practice, but she’d never tried to avoid it so actively.

“Too stupid.”

“Where’d you hear that?” She asks, frowning. Had someone in her new class been mean to her? Had she heard a teacher say it?

Hannah shrugged, curling up underneath the table.

Lex pulls out one of the chairs and crouches down. She holds her arms out and after a few seconds, Hannah crawls over to her. She kisses the top of her head, hugging her. “Don’t listen to people who call you names. You’re very, very smart.” She never wanted Hannah to ever think she wasn’t as smart as she was. Sure, it was hard for her to learn things, but that didn’t stop her from being very intelligent. It just meant that she learnt differently to other people. “Let’s try writing one more time and then we can play.” She picks Hannah back up and sits her at the table, handing her the pencil.

She looked at the paper doubtfully before attempting to write out the alphabet. All in all, she doesn’t do too bad of a job. Some letters are backwards or upside-down, others are completely unrecognisable, but there are a few that she does correctly.

“That’s the best you’ve done yet!” Lex says, smiling at her, giving her a hug.

“Play now?” She asks.

“Yes, but first can you write your name on your work, so we know it’s yours?” She says, tapping an empty corner of the page.

Hannah sighs before scribbling her name. She puts down the pencil and gets up from the table. “Play now.” She says going over and opening the breakroom door. She doubles back to grab her writing paper from the table before leaving the room to show it to Ethan.

Lex follows her out into the garage where Ethan is quickly found.

“Play now.” Hannah said shoving the paper in front of his face so he could see that she’d finished her work.

“Good job on your writing, Banana.” He said, elbow deep in a car bonnet. “I’ve still got a bit more to do here, so why don’t you play with Lex until I can come join you?” He suggests. Once he’d finished up with this car, he’d be able to clock off and hang out with them.

“Now.” She pulled on his arm.

“He’s still gotta work, Banana.” Lex said picking her up and pulling her off of Ethan.

“You said.” She looked rather crestfallen.

“I said you could play; I didn’t say anything about Ethan.” She said, hitching Hannah up a little higher onto her hip. “Come on, if we stop distracting him, he’ll be finished faster.” She smiles over at him before walking back into the breakroom with Hannah.

* * *

They were walking back to the trailer. The sun had gone down, and Ethan was carrying Hannah who was half asleep, not paying attention to anything he or Lex said.

“Ethan?” She said as they walked.

“Yeah?”

“When we were talking before, I don’t think you actually said why you were avoiding me. You spoke about all the what-ifs and stuff, but not the actual why.” She said. She spoke softly so as not to draw Hannah’s attention and to hopefully make it a little easier for him to answer her.

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments before speaking. “I avoided you partially because of all the images that came to mind, but mainly because I felt guilty. I felt like I had failed you, that I was the one that put your life at risk. That it was my fault your mum attacked you in the first place. I still feel that way. I’m so sorry I put you through all that, babe.” He holds Hannah in one arm so that he could hold Lex’s hand.

She squeezes it. “I don’t blame you. None of it was your fault and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.”

He scoffs. “Says you.” He knew all too well that Lex blamed everything on herself, whether it was her fault or not.

“Yes, says me.” She knew what he was thinking. Truth be told if there was someone to blame for what her mother had done it would be her; she’d worn the locket around Pamela in the first place.

“Well, if you say I’m not to blame, then neither are you.” He says, giving her hand a squeeze.

“I never said I blamed myself.” She said defensively.

“But you were thinking it.” He kisses the side of her head. “You forget how well I know you.”

“Whatever.” She lets go of his hand to wrap her arm around him, leaning into his side as they continued walking.

They walk for a few minutes in silence before he speaks. “Hey, what was that note Hannah got about? You seemed a little concerned.” He quickly checks to make sure that Hannah wasn’t paying attention to them.

“Just a parent-teacher interview notice.” She said. “Along with a need to go see the principal to discuss something. Something that I know is going to be them kicking her out.” She sighs. She didn’t know what she would do if they kicked Hannah out. There was no way she’d be able to get her into another school straight away, and the next primary school was several suburbs over.

“Surely they wouldn’t kick her out though. They have no grounds to do so.” He said. He didn’t understand why the school would want to get rid of Hannah. She was a good kid.

“They’ll spin it to say that it’s because she’s not getting good marks and that she’s not learning anything. But they really just don’t want to deal with her anymore. She needs too much care and attention, and they’re not bothered to do that.” Lex really hated Hannah’s school. The teachers just ignored her, which was why she wasn’t learning anything. They’d held her back so that she had a chance to do better, but they weren’t going to help her achieve that.

They continue walking in silence until they reached the trailer. There was no sign of Pamela, so they were able to utilise the main room. Lex put Hannah in bed, as she was essentially asleep already before she and Ethan made themselves comfortable in the main room.

“I really missed you, you know.” She said as she leaned against him, placing her head on his shoulder.

“I missed you too.” He kisses her before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. He couldn’t help but be annoyed with himself for having avoided her. He had his reasons, but now he was glad to just have her back in his arms. He didn’t feel nearly as scared now as he had in the past few weeks.

“I can’t wait for us to get out of here.” She said softly. She felt that as soon as they left Hatchetfield, that would be when she’d be able to start her life. Right now, she was just sort of floating along, trying to survive. She had Hannah who she would protect at any cost and she had Ethan who she loved. Apart from them she served no purpose.

“Me too.” As much as he loved his parents and got along with them, he found Hatchetfield to be a little stifling. Not to mention he wanted to get Lex and Hannah as far away from their mother as he could. The next summer couldn’t come quickly enough in his opinion. He couldn’t wait to start his life with Lex. “Did you mean what you said about getting married?” He asked.

“Yeah, I did.” She knew she wanted to spend her life with him. She couldn’t imagine her life going any other way. She lifted her head up so that she could kiss him.

He kisses her back, smiling. He never wanted to be separated from her. When they got to California he’d propose to her properly. “I love you.” He whispered before starting to press kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

“I love you too.” She said, pulling him away from where he’d reached her collar bone. She kisses his lips before breaking away and removing her shirt.

He follows suit before pulling her onto his lap where he continued to kiss her.

Her hands wander down his bare chest until she reached the waistband of his jeans. Not breaking away from their kiss, she unzips the fly before undoing the button. All the while, he’s working to unhook her bra.

She breaks away from the kiss, pushing him so that he’s now lying down on his back. She pulls off his pants, bringing his boxers with it, leaving him naked. She then removes her bra, sitting straddled across his waist. She bends down and continues kissing him.


	14. Shine a Light (Reprise)

Ever since meeting with Hannah’s principal, Lex had been working a lot harder with her on reading, writing and numbers. The principal had told her that Hannah had until the end of the term to improve her grades or else they would have her unenrolled. 

She couldn’t let that happen. If Hannah was kicked out of her school, then Lex would be forced to abandon her own education so she could take care of her sister. She wouldn’t have to drop out immediately, but if she couldn’t come up with something else for Hannah, she would have no other choice.

“What’s this say?” She asked Hannah as they worked in the garage’s breakroom as they normally did after Lex had finished work.

She shrugged, resting her head on her forearms atop the table. She was fed up with this. It was just too hard, and she didn’t see the point in learning any of it.

“Sit up, please.” She pulled her sister so that she was now upright. “Can you read this word for me?”

She shrugged again. She makes to get off her chair, but Lex holds her back.

“C’mon, Hannah, you’ve gotta learn this stuff.” She says. She needs her to be able to read at least a little bit.

Hannah glares at her, crossing her arms and turning her head away from the book they were using.

“Please, just do five more words with me and then we’ll do whatever you want.” She pleaded.

She shakes her head. She was done with talking and she was done with schoolwork. She already spent all day doing it, she wanted a break.

“Hannah, you gotta do this.” Lex said. She was starting to get frustrated. She had four weeks to get her sister to learn enough to start passing first grade, and nothing seemed to be working. Hannah could write down her own name and recognise it along with Lex and Ethan’s, but that was it. In her two-and-a-bit years of schooling this hadn’t changed. Everyday Lex tried to get her to learn a little bit more, but Hannah never retained any of it.

Hannah runs away from the table before Lex is able to catch her and escapes out into the garage.

“Hannah!” She yells, chasing after her sister. When she enters the garage, she can’t spot her anywhere. It was like she had disappeared. She looks around frantically, hoping that Hannah hadn’t gone out onto the street. Lex’s looks beneath all of the cars, wondering if she was hiding under any of them.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Ethan asked, walking over to her, having spotted her from where he’d been working replacing a punctured tyre. 

“Hannah. She ran out here and she’s just disappeared.” Lex explained, not pausing in her search.

“Well, she couldn’t have gotten far.” He starts looking as well. “She didn’t see another butterfly, did she?”

“No.” She felt awful. She had pushed her too much and now she’d run away. She needed to find Hannah before anything happened to her.

She abandons searching within the parameters of the garage and goes out the main door. “Hannah!” She calls, hoping that she would come out of wherever she was hiding. Lex starts wondering around the outside of the building, checking beneath cars and inside of bushes, wherever she thought that her sister might think as a good hiding place.

The more time that passed without any sign of Hannah had Lex become more and more worried. Hannah could have gone anywhere by this point, and she didn’t know if her sister had actually left the garage or not. She just hoped that Hannah hadn’t gone near any busy roads. 

Lex starts walking down the street, seeing if maybe Hannah had gone in that direction. The level of stress and worry she was feeling had started making her feel sick. Hannah had never really done anything like this before. Sure, she’d run off, but Lex had always been able to keep her within her sights. She’d never actually disappeared before.

Her phone started to vibrate with an incoming call. She quickly answers, seeing that it was from Ethan.

“Hey, I’ve found her.” He says as soon as she picks up.

“You’ve found her?”

“Yep.” He said. 

“Thank God.” All the stress and worry melted away. “Okay, I’ll be right there. Don’t let her out of your sight.” She hangs up and stars jogging back towards the garage. 

When she enters the building, she finds Ethan standing there waiting for her, Hannah sitting on his hip. Hannah didn’t look very happy and would periodically rub her cheek against his shoulder, something she only did when upset.

“I was so worried about you, Banana.” Lex says going straight over to them. She tries to take Hannah from Ethan, but she didn’t want to let go. “You can’t run off like that, okay?”

Hannah didn’t say anything, though she did turn her head away. She had become upset when Ethan had found her. She hadn’t wanted him to alert Lex to her location. The whole point of her hiding was to get away and so she didn’t have to do anymore school stuff.

“Where was she?” Lex asked, turning her attention to Ethan, seeing as her sister wasn’t going to be cooperating.

“She’d buried herself in a cardboard box full of spare uniform shirts.” He said, gesturing towards a supply closet. “It was on a high shelf, so I’m not sure how she got in there.”

“It doesn’t matter how she got there, I’m just glad you found her.” She tried to comb her fingers through Hannah’s hair, but was brushed away.

“Yeah, she wasn’t happy about it, isn’t that right, Banana?” He says, trying to get Hannah to acknowledge the conversation that was happening around her, but she continues to ignore them.

“She’s probably just mad about being made to do her reading/writing practice.” Lex sighs. She was starting to worry that she was pushing Hannah too hard. She just didn’t want her to be kicked out of school. She was trying to teach her sister skills that she’d need if she ever wanted to live independently, or progress in her education. If she was ever to get a job, she’d need to know how to read and write. 

Becoming literate would only become harder the older she got. Hannah was going to be seven soon, and she couldn’t do things that most kids her age could. She was behind her peers, and the distance between them would only increase if she continued to refuse to learn basic literacy.

“I know she doesn’t like it, but she needs to learn this stuff. Lex said as the three of them made their way into the breakroom, sitting down on the couch.

“Give her time, she’ll figure it out.” Ethan says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“She doesn’t have time, though. She has four weeks to become literate.” She didn’t know what to do that would help Hannah. She never wanted to give up on her sister, but she was sure making it difficult.

Ethan turns Hannah around, holding her so that she is forced to look at them. “Hey, Banana, what would make it fun and easy for you to learn reading and writing?” He asks. Since He and Lex were pretty much out of ideas, he figured maybe Hannah would have some. It was her that needed to do the learning after all.

She looks at them, not wanting to talk. She rubs her face with her hands.

“What do you want us to do to help you?” He says, trying to prompt her into saying something.

She still didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to do more reading/writing, so why would she give them any ideas?

Ethan then had a lightbulb moment. He moves Hannah to Lex’s lap with much protest from Hannah, before he jumps up and goes over to her bag, pulling out her tub of Play-Doh. “You like your Play-Doh, right?” He says, sitting down on the floor in front of the two girls. “Let’s use the Play-Doh to make letters.”

He seemed to have piqued Hannah’s interest, as she reached out for the Play-Doh.

“How about we go to the table, so we don’t make a mess.” He takes her hand and brings her over to the table, sitting her down before tipping out the contents of the small tub. 

Lex comes over and sits on Hannah’s other side, making sure that she didn’t try to escape.

Ethan grabs a piece of paper that had the alphabet written on it in Lex’s neat handwriting. He hands Hannah a small portion of Play-Doh, getting similarly sized pieces for himself and Lex. “Let’s all make the first letters of out names.” He said. He figured he’d start off with something easy, to see if this would be a good method for Hannah to learn with.

The three of them get to work on their letters and soon they were finished.

“Good job.” He said, seeing that Hannah had made the most accurate ‘H’ she’d ever produced. “Hey Hannah, what letter did you make?” He asked.

“‘Aitch.” She said, bouncing a little as she sounded out the letter.

“What one did Lexi make?” He asks, pointing to the ‘L’ sitting in front of Lex.

“El.” 

“What about mine.” He points to his own letter.

“E.” She says. “E for Et’.”

“That’s right.” He was glad to see that his idea appeared to be working. “Can you make the other letters of your name?” He circles the right letters before handing her some more Play-Doh.

She got to work making the other letters, making then ‘n’s capitals and backwards. When she’s finished she looks over to him.

“Can you tell me the names of the letters?” He asks again.

“A and en and ‘aitch.” She says.

“Good job. Now can you spell out your name?” He prompts.

“‘Aitch, a, en, en, a, ‘aitch.” She looks rather proud of herself as she finishes. Even though her name was the easiest word for her, it was still hard.

“Way to go, Banana.” He says, giving her a high-five. “Now, I’ve got a little more work to do, do you reckon you can make more letters with Lexi while I finish?”

She looks a bit uncertain. She found writing a lot more fun with Ethan than she did with Lex.

“I won’t be long.” He says trying to reassure her. “And when I get back you can show me all the letters you made.”

She slowly nods, turning to face Lex for the first time since they sat down. She grabs another handful of Play-Doh, awaiting to be told what to make.

* * *

The Play-Doh method turned out to be a great success. So much so that Hannah would just make random letters while playing with it normally, though sometimes these letters where a little open to interpretation. She couldn’t string any words together without help yet, apart from her name, but she finally knew the alphabet. She did have a little trouble translating the Play-Doh models into writing, but for the most part Lex was able to read what she was writing.

The fact that it was working so well was definitely helping with Lex’s stress level. She was still dreading the end of the term and being told that Hannah was going to be kicked out. Whenever she thought about it, she felt sick. She was even losing sleep over it.

“Don’t worry, babe, she’s got this.” Ethan said to her when Lex finally told him how stressed she was getting during their lunch break. Both of them were leaning their backs against the tree they usually sat at, holding hands.

“But I don’t think it matters. They just want to get rid of her.” She said. She didn’t know what she’d do if Hannah couldn’t go to school. She needed that time to attend school herself, and if she couldn’t do that, then she couldn’t graduate, and it would make it infinitely harder for her to get a job once they reached California. Maybe she could just be an actress, they didn’t need any qualifications, right?

“Even if they do kick her out, she’s still made a heap of progress and that’ll make it easier to get her into another school.” He said.

Hannah was improving every day. For her birthday Ethan and Lex had pooled together to get her more Play-Doh as well as some alphabet magnets. She absolutely loved them, and they were helping her. They were both pretty confident that soon Hannah would be able to at least spell words phonetically. She’d even learnt a bunch of numbers.

“If they kick Hannah out, then I’ll have to drop out to home school her until we can get her into a new one.” Lex said, resting her forehead against Ethan’s shoulder.

“What if I dropped out instead?” He says.

“What?” She looks up at him.

“Think about it; if one of us is gonna graduate, it’s gonna be you. I’m almost flunking every class, so odds are I won’t be graduating anyway. I can pick up a few more shifts at the garage, which pays more and looks better on a resumé than Toy-Zone does, and I can watch Hannah while I’m there.” He says. If he was being honest, he only stayed in school to spend more time with Lex, and if she dropped out, he probably would too.

“I can’t make you give up on school, though. She’s my sister and I’m the one who’s responsible for her.” She said. 

“And you do so much for her. You gave up your entire childhood for her. Let me do this. For both of you.” He gives her hand a squeeze.

“I’ll think about it.” She kisses his cheek and gets up to her feet just as the bell rings. She starts walking back towards the school building, and he follows her, catching up and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

* * *

It had been a bit of a rough evening for all of them. Hannah had been crying from the moment Ethan had picked her up from school and hadn’t calmed down until Lex had arrived at the garage, which was later than usual due to her being held back at Toy-Zone. And because of Hannah being so upset and Ethan being unable to cheer her up, despite pulling up _The Powerpuff Girls_ on his phone, he had gotten behind on his work.

Lex had thought it best that rather than waiting for him to finish up, she would just take Hannah home straight away. She hadn’t expected her mother to be in the trailer upon their arrival.

Pamela wasn’t happy. As soon as Lex walked in she went over to her, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt. “What the fuck is this shit?” She asks holding up a blob of Hannah’s Play-Doh.

Lex, who had been carrying Hannah, puts her down, pushing her in the direction of their bedroom. “It’s Play-Doh.” She said, cursing herself for not having done a better job at making sure it had all been cleaned up from when Hannah was playing with it that morning.

“What the fuck is it doing all over my floor?” She asks, slowly squashing the substance into Lex’s hair.

“I’m sorry, I must have missed it while cleaning.” She hoped that her mother wasn’t about to do worse to her.

“Why was it on the floor in the first place?” Pamela asked.

She didn’t know what to say without bringing Hannah’s name into the conversation. Whatever she did, she did not want to draw attention to Hannah.

“Was it that brat?” She doesn’t even wait for an answer. Pamela drags her over to the stove. She takes hold of the locket that is still hanging around Lex’s neck, undoing the clasp and redoing it around the metal grate of the gas-powered hotplate.

“Mum, what are you doing.” She asks fearfully as her mum reaches over to the knob.

She doesn’t say anything as she ignited the stovetop. 

There was enough leeway in the necklace chain that allowed Lex not to be in the direct line of fire, though she feels the heat and knows that she’ll get burnt if she stays there. She had been tied to the grate furthest away from the knobs, and with her mother standing there, there was no way that she’d be able to turn it off.

Pamela stays and watches her for a moment as the locket’s chain heats up, slowly burning Lex’s skin.

“Mum, please, turn it off.” She begs as she starts to feel a steadily increasing amount of pain.

Still saying nothing, Pamela grabs some duct tape and uses it to tape Lex’s hands together, before leaving, heading straight for the bedroom. 

“Mum, please, don’t hurt her.”

She opens the door and enters, disappearing from Lex’s line of sight.

“Mum, please!” Lex cries. She desperately started trying to get her hands free so she could turn off the stove, which had started making the hairs at the back of her neck smoulder. She just hoped her entire head didn’t catch on fire, otherwise she and Hannah were both fucked.

“Lexi!” Hannah screamed, followed by several cries of pain.

She started chewing at the duct tape. She needed to get to Hannah. She didn’t know what her mother was doing, but it sounded bad. Every sound from Hannah she heard hurt her more than anything Pamela had inflicted on her.

“Shut up, bitch!” Pamela yelled.

Chewing on the tape wasn’t working fast enough, so without giving herself time to think about it she held her bound wrists over the flame of the stove, not caring about burning herself. The heat melted the plastic and she was able to rip the hand closest to the knobs free and quickly uses it to turn off the stove. She doesn’t care about burning her fingers as she fumbles to undo the clasp of the locket. She knows that the back of her neck is already burnt. 

Letting the locket fall to the floor, she runs as fast as she could into the bedroom, placing herself between her mother and sister, who was still screaming.

“How the fuck did you escape?” Pamela said angrily, her attention having returned to Lex.

“Get away from her.” She said in as threatening a tone as she dared.

“The fuck you just say to me?” She asks, grabbing the collar of her shirt and withdrawing a pocketknife, holding it up to Lex’s face.

“Do what you like to me, just leave her alone.” She said, holding her hands up in defence, duct tape still hanging off of one of them. She didn’t care what Pamela did to her, so long as Hannah was safe. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hannah crawl and hide beneath the bed.

Pamela dragged her out into the kitchenette, grabbing the duct tap once more. She shoves Lex, positioning her beneath a low hanging light fixture. “Hands up.” She instructs.

Lex raises her hands up above her head, as her mother begins taping them to the cord that powered the light, forcing her to stand on tip toe so that she was tall enough. The tape was excruciating against the burnt skin of her wrists.

Pamela uses half the roll to secure Lex. “I’ll be back in four days. You better hope your dead by then.” She reaches into Lex’s back pocket, taking out her phone and wallet. “You won’t be needing these anymore.” She says, smashing the phone on the floor and pocketing the wallet. Without another word she leaves the trailer, slamming the door shut behind her.

Lex could hear Hannah crying in the other room and desperately wanted to get over to her, but she couldn’t. “It’s okay, Banana, you’re safe now.” She calls out. Her only hope of getting free was to coax Hannah out and try and get her to cut away the tape.

Hannah doesn’t respond and continues to cry.

She starts losing feeling in her hands and arms as the trailer grows dark. There was no way to turn on the lights, so she hung there in darkness. She needs to get free and help her sister, she knew she wouldn’t come out from under the bed on her own.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been stuck there when a soft knock sounded at the door, but it had been dark for a while. She had given up holding up her head by this point but lifts it at the sound.

“Lex?” Ethan’s voice sounded softly from outside.

She would’ve collapsed in relief if she wasn’t being held up. “Ethan?” She didn’t know why he was here, but she was most certainly glad he was.

He cautiously opens the door. “Why’s it dark?” He asks flicking on the light switch, practically blinding Lex. “Oh my God.” He says when he sees her. “What happened?” He knew that her mother had done this and that it had happened a while ago, judging by the fact her arms had drained of blood.

“I’ll tell you later, but first make sure that Hannah’s okay.” She needed to know that Hannah hadn’t been hurt too badly. “But don’t bring her out here.” She didn’t want her sister to see her like this.

Ethan wanted to free Lex but knew that Hannah was the priority. “Where is she?”

“Under the bed.” She said, a little breathless.

He nods, hurrying into the bedroom and crouching down by the bed. “Hey, Banana, it’s Ethan.” He reaches out, carefully taking hold of her and gently pulling her out from the bed. He can clearly see that her face is covered in bruises.

She grabs onto him, crying into his shirt.

He hugs her tightly, wanting to comfort her, but the fact that Lex sill needed help kept niggling at the back of his mind. 

After a few moments, he picks her up, sitting her on top of the bed, carefully wiping away her tears. “Do you think you can stay here while I go get Lexi?”

She thinks for a few moments, not wanting him to go, but she decides she wants Lex more, so nods.

He smiles at her. “I’ll be back with her real soon.” He says going back out to Lex. “Where are some scissors?” He asks, knowing the first thing he’d need to do was get her down from that light.

“Top draw on the left.” She says, kicking in the general direction. “Is Hannah okay.”

“A little beat up, but okay.” He says, following her directions and pulls out a pair of scissors, going back over to her. “Jesus, how much tape did she use?” He says, trying to cut away the duct tape but finding it to be too thick for the scissors to handle.

“A lot.” Lex replies, not being able to see how much is around her wrists.

He gives up on the scissors, going over to the knife block and pulling out a serrated knife. He also grabs a chair, standing on it to get a better angle. As carefully as he could he began sawing away at the tape. “What happened to your hands?” He asked, noticing that while her arms were blue, her hands where red and blistering.

“Doesn’t matter, just get me out so I can see Hannah.” All she could think about was her sister and seeing for herself if she was alright.

After a few minutes, Ethan manages to saw through the tape, Lex’s arms immediately falling to her sides. She almost completely collapses to the ground. She couldn’t feel her arms at all but ignores that detail as she hurriedly makes her way over to the bedroom, her arms uselessly swinging by her sides.

She enters the room and sees her sister on the bed. “Hannah.” She hugs her as best as she could with her noodle-arms. 

Hannah sniffles, hugging Lex as tightly as she could.

They stay like that as Lex’s arms become overrun with pins and needles as the feeling returns to them. She sits back a little so she could see Hannah’s face, seeing that it was covered in dark bruises. She brushes a few tears from her sister’s face, smiling for her and ignoring the pain in her hands. “Don’t worry, Banana, we’ll get you fixed up.”

Hannah doesn’t say anything, which wasn’t unexpected. She reaches out and pokes at the Play-Doh that was still stuck in Lex’s hair, which she’d completely forgotten about until that moment.

“I bet I look a bit funny with Play-Doh in my hair, huh?” She says.

Hannah smiles weakly.

Lex stands up, taking Hannah’s hand and walks her out into the main room and having her sit down on the couch. She then moves into the kitchenette to get some ice for her bruises, Ethan following behind her after giving Hannah his phone with an episode of _The Powerpuff Girls_ to keep her distracted.

Lex opens the freezer, grabbing an icepack and immediately dropping it on the floor, letting out a small involuntary noise of pain.

Ethan picks it up before she has a chance to. “Let me do this, okay?” He says giving her a concerned look. 

She nods.

He gives her a soft smile, kissing her forehead before taking the ice over to Hannah. He knew that Lex needed it too, but she would refuse it until Hannah no longer needed it. “This is gonna be cold, okay, Banana?” He said before lightly pressing the ice to the worst of the bruises.

She starts crying again.

Lex sits down next to her. “It’s alright.” She whispers, holding her sister.

Eventually Hannah falls asleep and Ethan carries her off and tucks her into bed. He then goes to return the ice to the freezer so that it could re-freeze and he could give it to Lex to use. While doing so he spots the locket on the floor by the stove. He’s confused and picks it up, noticing that half the chain was black with soot. It only adds to his confusion about what had happened. 

He brings it with him back over to the couch where he shows it to Lex, sitting down next to her. “What happened?” He asks.

She breaks, tears falling fast down her cheeks. She had been trying not to cry since she heard Ethan’s voice. She buries her face in his chest, telling him everything between sobs.

He holds her tightly, listening to all she had to say, hating Pamela more and more with each parting second.

“Then she said that I should hope I was dead by the time she came back.” She said, finishing the story of hers and Hannah’s evening.

He holds her tighter, kissing the top of her head. “You’re not going to live here anymore.” He says. He couldn’t let her after tonight.

Lex didn’t say anything but continued to cry. She didn’t want to keep living at the trailer. It wasn’t safe for Hannah. It never was really. But now Pamela was restraining Lex so that she could get at Hannah.

They stay that way, silently holding each other for a while. Ethan knew they needed to tend to Lex’s burns, but he wouldn’t let go until she was ready.

“How did you know to come?” She whispered after having finished crying.

“You weren’t answering your phone and I started to get worried.” He said. He’d had a bad feeling from the moment she and Hannah had left the garage, so when Lex hadn’t answered her phone for over an hour, he thought it would be a good idea just to check in on her. And boy was he glad that he had.

She lets out a shaky sigh. “What am I going to do now?” She whispered, looking around the room that had been her torture chamber.

“Whatever we do, we’ll figure it out together.” He wasn’t letting her go through this on her own.

She leans back into him, resting her head on his chest. “I don’t want to be alone, Ethan.” She whispers.

“Don’t worry, babe, I’m right here by your side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got so intense that I had to pause so that my laptop didn't overheat.


	15. Kindergarten Boyfriend

She woke up with a start, her breathing coming in short shallow gasps. She was half in the world of the terrible dream she just had. She wasn’t quite clueing into her surroundings and started hyperventilating.

“Lex, it’s okay, you’re safe.”

She didn’t register that it was Ethan that had spoken and that it was him that sat next to her in the darkness. For all she knew that was the shadow of her mother, so she shoved him hard, trying to get away, only to be met by the excruciating pain of her burnt hands. She clutched them to her chest as tears began falling down her cheeks.

Ethan edged closer as she slowly broke out of the world of her dream. He carefully placed his hands on either side of her face, speaking directly at her. “You’re okay. Hannah’s okay. But you gotta calm down.” He wiped away a few tears with his thumbs, not breaking eye-contact with her. “Follow my breathing.” He took long deep breaths.

She starts trying to copy his breathing. It takes a few minutes, but she gradually manages to match his steady breaths.

He smiles at her, brushing her hair out of her face. “There you go.” He says gently.

She collapses into his arms, holding him as tightly as she could with her hands the way they were. She felt absolutely terrible for having shoved him but knew that he forgave her without either of them needing to say anything. She breathed him in. She knew she was safe whenever she was with him. If he was here, then everything was going to be okay.

He hugs her back tightly, though makes sure that she can still breathe easily. He just knew she had relived her evening in her dream and hated that her mind would do that to her. It was bad enough that she had lived it once. Even though she hadn’t come as close to death as she had the last time her mother had attacked her, he could tell that this one was playing on her mind worse. Probably because Pamela had restrained Lex in the worst possible way so that she could go after Hannah.

“When you’re ready, you should go back to sleep.” He said. He didn’t want her to dream again, but knew that she needed the sleep, especially since she hadn’t been getting much lately.

“I need to check on Hannah.” She said, pushing away from him and wobbling to her feet. “Where is she?” She needed to make sure that her sister was okay, especially after the alternate part of her dream where she hadn’t gotten free of the duct tape.

“In bed asleep.” He says, he hadn’t heard a peep from her since he tucked her in.

She starts making her way towards the bedroom. She only manages to take a few steps before she stumbles and falls, crying out when her hands slam into the floor.

He rushes over to her, picking her up off of the floor. “Are you alright?” He asks.

“I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” She said, clutching at her stomach, which had started to churn rather uncomfortably. 

He helps her off of the floor, supporting most of her weight, and brings her into the bathroom.

Not a moment later she expels the contents of her stomach into the toilet. It didn’t last long, being that she’d only eaten half of Ethan’s sandwich in the last twenty-four hours.

Throughout he rubs her back with one hand, the other holding back her hair. “How are you feeling?” He asks as she moves away from the toilet, grabbing a tissue to wipe her mouth before hitting the flush button.

She shrugs leaning into him. “Sorry, that was gross.”

“It’s fine. In sickness and in health, babe.” He says, kissing the top of her head.

“We’re not married.” She mutters, though smiles in spite of herself.

“Then consider this good practice.” He says grinning down at her.

“Whatever.” She says, letting out a yawn. She clambers her way back up to her feet and starts brushing her teeth. It was a painful process, but she was determined to do it herself, waving Ethan away when he tried to help after seeing that it was putting her in pain. She looks in the mirror, noticing that the Play-Doh was no longer in her hair. She realises that he must have taken it out, that he had been treating her injuries while she slept.

When she was finished with her teeth she starts walking out of the bathroom and towards where Hannah was sleeping in their bed. Ethan is right beside her, making sure she doesn’t fall down again.

Lex goes over to the bed kneeling beside it and her sister. She starts gently stroking Hannah’s hair. “You’re okay now, Banana.” She whispers quietly to avoid waking her up. “I’m gonna keep you safe. I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you ever again. I promise.” She kisses Hannah’s forehead. She felt so incredibly guilty about everything that Hannah had gone through at the hands of their mother. It was her fault that her sister had gotten hurt. She’d been the one that didn’t clean up that blob of Play-Doh. She couldn’t change the past, but she most certainly could do her best to make sure it never happened again.

She climbs into bed next to her sleeping sister, lying on her side and wrapping her arms around her.

Ethan had been standing by the door, watching.

Lex looks over to him and reaches out a hand.

He comes over and takes it, holding it as lightly as he could so as not to hurt her. “Go back to sleep, babe.”

“Only if you lay with me.” She says, gesturing to the empty space on her other side.

“I gotta stay awake.” He brushes a few strands of hair out of her eyes.

“Why?”

“To make sure your mum doesn’t come back.” He said. He needed to stay awake and alert just in case Pamela decided to come back. He wasn’t about to let her hurt Lex and Hannah again.

“She’s not gonna come back. Not tonight at least.” She said. She was scared of what she might dream. She felt a lot better about going to sleep with the idea of him being right there beside her.

“Lex, I gotta keep you safe.” He said.

“You are. Please, just lie down.” She really didn’t want to sleep without him.

He looks at her expression, seeing the fear in the back of her eyes. He nods and climbs on the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. There wasn’t much space with three of them in the single bed, but he didn’t mind. “Get some sleep now, okay?” He whispers, kissing the back of her head.

“You need to sleep too.” She muttered, already starting to doze off with his comforting presence right there.

“I’ll try.” Even if he did try, he wasn’t expecting to get any sleep.

“Okay.” She leans back into him, while still maintaining as much contact with Hannah as she could. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He says, smiling. “Now go to sleep.”

* * *

She was woken up by Hannah crying and shaking her awake.

“What’s wrong, Banana?” She asked rather groggily. She had no idea what time it was, but knew it had to be pretty early.

She looked down and Lex followed her eyeline, seeing the damp puddle beneath where Hannah sat.

“It’s okay.” She said, holding onto Hannah. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then everything will be all better.” She nudges Ethan who was still asleep, trying to rouse him. “Ethan, get up, Hannah wet the bed.” She needed him off the bed so she could wash the sheets.

He groaned, slowly waking up.

Lex picked up Hannah, getting out of bed. Her arms ached and her hands burned, but she could deal with it. She needed to make sure that her sister was taken care of.

Hannah hadn’t wet the bed in over a year. It used to be a fairly regular occurrence, but then she seemed to just stop. Lex had been relieved, as Pamela had yelled a lot about the issue. Now it seemed that it may be starting up again. She hoped it was just a one-off occurrence, but with what happened last night, who was to say?

Despite Lex saying that it would all be okay; Hannah had properly started panicking. She knew that whenever she wet the bed that her mum would yell at her and Lex and would hit them. She didn’t want that to happen.

Lex put her sister down on the ground and knelt so that she was level. “Don’t cry, everything’ll be alright.” She wiped away a few tears. “You’re not going to get in trouble. Mum’s not even here.” She said, trying her best to reassure her.

Hannah sniffled, still looking scared.

“I know, this is no fun, isn’t it?” She said, bringing her into a hug. “It’ll all be better soon though.” She picks her back up, grabs a change of clothes, and carries her into the bathroom.

Once there, she puts Hannah down on the floor and starts removing her wet clothing. She grabs a washer, wets it, then begins to wipe Hannah down. She then makes sure she’s dry, before dressing her in fresh clothes.

“There you go, you’re all better.” Lex kisses her forehead, before standing up and picking her back up. “Let’s go fix the bed now.” She walks back into the bedroom to find that Ethan had already stripped the sheets off.

“What do you want me to do with these?” He asks.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She says, waving at the bare bed.

“Nonsense.” He says, smiling at her. “Now what do you want me to do with them?”

“I can take them.” She reached out for the sheets.

“Let me help. You’re still hurt, remember?” He said.

She sighs. “Give them a quick scrub with soap, then give them a rinse.” She says reluctantly.

“While I take care of these, why don’t you two go and watch some TV or something?” He suggests, giving Lex a quick kiss before leaving the room.

It was always the smallest and most random of things that never failed to remind Lex how much she loved him. She grabs a small tub of Play-Doh, opening it and giving its contents to Hannah, who eagerly starts playing with it. She walks the two of them out into the main room and sits down on the couch. 

Hannah sits sideways across her lap, leaning into her as she continues to play with the Play-Doh.

“Anything you wanna watch, Banana?” She asks. She had noted that Hannah hadn’t spoken since their mother had greeted them the previous night and doubted that she would get a verbal response.

True to her prediction, Hannah didn’t say anything, though she did attempt to communicate what she wanted to watch by blowing a spit bubble.

“A show about bubbles?” She says, thinking out loud. After a few moment of going through shows and Hannah’s persistent spit bubbles, Lex manages to figure it out. “You wanna watch _The Powerpuff Girls_ , don’t you?”

Hannah nods, blowing another spit bubble.

“And Bubbles is you favourite character, isn’t she? I should’ve known that’s what you were saying.” She kisses the top of Hannah’s head. She was pretty impressed with her sister’s ingenuity when it came to nonverbal communication. It was sometimes hard for Lex to figure out, but when she did it always amazed her at how smart her sister was.

Ethan’s phone happened to be lying on the ground next to the couch, having been left there the night before. Lex picks it up and unlocks it, finding a _Powerpuff Girls_ for Hannah. She finds one, propping the phone up on a pillow before hitting play.

Ethan soon comes over and sits down next to them, wrapping an arm around Lex’s shoulders. “ _The Powerpuff Girls _, huh? Why am I not surprised?” He says, ruffling Hannah’s hair.__

__She giggles though doesn’t look away from the phone and her Play-Doh._ _

__“Once the episode’s over we should get out of here.” He says softly to Lex. He didn’t want them to be in the trailer a moment longer than necessary._ _

__Slowly she nods. “Yeah, we should.” She rests her head on his shoulder._ _

__

__* * *_ _

__

__They had been staying at Ethan’s house for a few days. During that time only he had left the property. Lex wasn’t going to let Hannah go to school while her face was covered in bruises, too many questions would be asked. And Lex stayed to watch her sister, though Ethan claimed he wouldn’t have let her go anyway._ _

__“Hey, let’s do some reading and writing practice.” She says, turning off the TV and grabbing a tub of Play-Doh, along with paper and pencil. “Can you make the word ‘house’? That’s what it looks like.” She writes it down on the paper for Hannah to see._ _

__She doesn’t make any attempt to recreate the letters in Play-Doh._ _

__“We’re in a house right now. Can you make the word?” She asks again. She hadn’t done any literacy practice with Hannah throughout the last few days. She grabs some Play-Doh for herself and uses it to create the letters. “Can you do that?” She says, showing it to her._ _

__Hannah looks at it for a few seconds before grabbing it and adding it back into her own Play-Doh._ _

__“We can do it together, would that help?” She places her hands over Hannah’s and tries to force her movements into creating the word._ _

__Hannah whines and pushes Lex’s hands away. She curls up on herself, making sure to face away from her._ _

__“Come on, Hannah, you gotta do some practice.” She was starting to get a little worried that maybe Hannah had forgotten all the progress that they had made. She had two weeks to become literate enough to continue going to school, but it was seeming less and less likely that that was going to happen. Lex decides to change tactics to see if Hannah had really regressed or not._ _

__“What’s that letter?” She asks. She knows she’s not going to get a verbal response but hopes that Hannah will give her the answer some other way._ _

__She looks at the letter for a long while. She then takes the pencil from Lex and scribbles all over the word before starting to draw her own picture._ _

__This just confirmed to Lex that Hannah had indeed regressed to the point that she no longer knew the alphabet. She takes the pencil back from her and writes Hannah’s name. “Do you remember this word?” She asks, hoping that she did._ _

__Hannah squints at it, holding up the paper and presses it right up close to her face before crinkling it up and throwing it away. She went back to her Play-Doh, humming a song to herself._ _

__Lex’s heart sank. This was it; Hannah was going to be kicked out of school and Lex was going to have to drop out to take care of her. She didn’t think that she was going to help recover Hannah’s previous level of knowledge in two weeks. Especially since she wasn’t talking. This was going to make everything so much harder once they left to California._ _

__The front door opened as Ethan came home from school. Despite Hannah and Lex staying home, Lex had insisted Ethan continued to attend, mainly so that he could bring back the work she needed to do to keep up. She supposed there was no point to that now, seeing as it was practically guaranteed that she wasn’t going to be graduating._ _

__She gets up and goes over to him, leaving Hannah on the couch. She hugs him tightly, burying her face in his chest._ _

__He hugs her back. “Everything okay?” He asks. He could tell that something was up as she didn’t normally greet him like this._ _

__She pulls out of the embrace just enough so that her words wouldn’t be muffled against him. “Hannah’s regressed to the point that she doesn’t even recognise her name anymore.” She says._ _

__“Shit.” He says. “But we can reteach her, right?”_ _

__“Not in two weeks. It will probably take months to get her back to where she was.” She sighs. It felt like all their plans were slowly falling apart._ _

__It was then that they heard the sound of the back door opening. They both look over to see the door wide open and Hannah no longer sitting on the couch. Lex moves first, racing outside to find Hannah running around the backyard, looking skyward. It had started snowing and fat flakes were setting on the ground and on in her hair._ _

__“It’s too cold out here, Banana, you gotta come back inside.” Lex said from the doorway where Ethan joined her._ _

__Hannah ignored her and continued to gleefully run around in the snow. There were a few places where it had built up and she’d pick it up and rub it between her hands._ _

__Lex makes a move to go and fetch her, but Ethan stops her._ _

__“Let her play.” He says, wrapping his arms around her and planting a soft kiss on her cheek._ _

__“She’s gonna catch a cold.” She says. The air was freezing, and she was definitely glad of his warm presence._ _

__“Then let’s get her jacket.” He says, turning to head back inside._ _

__“She doesn’t have one. Not a proper snow one at least.” Lex said. Winter coats were expensive, especially the one meant to withstand snow. And with Hannah growing there was no telling how long any coat would last. Lex didn’t have one either. Sometimes she was able to get Hannah one second-hand, but they never lasted long. Whenever the weather got this cold, Lex would dress her in as many layers as possible and just hope she’d stay warm enough._ _

__“We should go get her one then.” He said, continuing to walk further into the house._ _

__“They’re too expensive, and there’s no point getting one since we’ll be in California soon.” Lex pointed out, following him, though still making sure she can keep an eye on her sister._ _

__“Well, I might have one left over from when I was her age lying around.” He said. His parents didn’t really chuck out anything, so he was sure there would be a storage bin somewhere in the attic full of his old winter clothes. “Stay here and watch her while I look.” He gives Lex a quick kiss before running off in search of a coat._ _

__She smiles after him as he went before turning back to Hannah. She stepped out into the backyard, though stayed beneath the eaves of the house so as to avoid getting snowed on._ _

__Hannah was having the time of her life. She loved the snow but was never really allowed to play in it. The snow was pilling up on the ground quickly, meaning that there was more to play with. She crouched down, picking up a handful of snow and squashing it in her hands. She didn’t know how to make a proper snowball, but she could make a snow-clump. She stood up with her snow-clump, a cheeky grin on her face as she launched it at Lex._ _

__The snow hit the wall next to where she stood. “Oh, you want a snowball fight?” She asked rhetorically, creating her own ball of snow. “I’ll give you a snowball fight.” She pegs it at her sister, where it hit her squarely in the chest._ _

__Hannah squealed, turning her head away as the snow made impact. She quickly gathers up more snow throwing it at Lex._ _

__This one hits her on the shoulder, but she pays it no mind, already having made her next snowball. She quickly throws it at Hannah, though misses._ _

__She jumps up and down, running around to gather more snow._ _

__Lex chases after her, throwing the occasional snowball._ _

__Hannah couldn’t make her snow-clumps fast enough to keep up with her, so had resorted to throwing clumps of loose snow at her sister._ _

__Lex throws another snowball, though this one misses Hannah completely and ends up hitting Ethan squarely in the face. He looks rather bewildered, having no idea what he’d just walked into._ _

__“Sorry, babe.” Lex said, not having expected him to appear in her line of fire._ _

__“I found a coat.” He said, holding up the faded blue coat, not really sure what else to do._ _

__Taking advantage of the moment of distraction, Hannah jumps up and shoves a handful of snow down the back of Lex’s shirt._ _

__She shrieked at the sudden coldness, turning to see a giggling Hannah. “Oh, you’re gonna get it now, miss Banana.” She said, starting to once again chase her._ _

__Hannah throws a few more handfuls of loose snow at her before running and hiding behind Ethan, using him as a shield._ _

__He turns around, trying to catch her so he could put the coat on her._ _

__She squealed and started running away from him, only to be caught by Lex, who picks her up. She tries to wriggle her way free, but Lex holds her firmly._ _

__Ethan slips the coat onto her and does up the zipper. “That’ll keep you a bit warmer.” He says before turning to Lex. “You need a coat too.”_ _

__“You’re not wearing one either.” She points out._ _

__“Yeah, well I’m not on the receiving end of a snowball.” He pulls out a massive snowball he had somehow been hiding behind his back, throwing it directly at the two girls, hitting them both._ _

__Lex looks to Hannah, slowly setting her down on the ground. “Let’s get him.” She said. The two of them gather snow and start pummelling him with it._ _

__“No!” He called out, trying to shield himself from the onslaught while simultaneously trying to create his own ammunition. He manages to get a few hits in before the two girls wrestle him to the ground._ _

__They were all laughing, cheeks pink from the cold. Hannah goes off to continue playing on her own, but Lex and Ethan stay lying there, their clothes becoming damp from the still falling snow._ _

__“You’re covered in snow.” He says softly pressing his lips against hers._ _

__“So are you.” She says, kissing him back, brushing a few flakes from his hair._ _

__He wraps his arms around her, holding her close. It was absolutely freezing lying there in the snow, but he didn’t notice it._ _

__Lex didn’t think she’d had that much fun in a long time. She never really gave herself the opportunity to have that sort of childish fun. She missed being able to do that sort of thing, not like she’d ever really gotten to be a kid._ _

__For as long as she could remember she’d had to take care of herself, and then Hannah came along. She never really had time for fun and games. But if she could spend more time with the two people she loved more than anything, just enjoying the simple things, then she’d be happy. They weren’t going to be having any snowball fights in California, but they’d be able to do other things, like go to the beach and build sandcastles._ _

__She couldn’t wait to just spend carefree days with Hannah and Ethan._ _

__“What are you thinking about?” He asks. They had been lying in silence for a few minutes, while snow continued to build up around them, listening to Hannah’s happy giggles and singing._ _

__Lex doesn’t answer, instead she kisses him deeply._ _

__He smiles into the kiss, his hands running up and down her back._ _

__After a little while longer, Hannah comes over, curling up on top of them, letting out a yawn._ _

__“You tired yourself out, huh?” Lex says, breaking away from Ethan and sitting up, pulling her sister into her arms._ _

__Hannah snuggles into Lex._ _

__“We should probably head back inside.” Ethan said, getting to his feet before helping up Lex who was still holding Hannah. He wraps his arms around them and together the three of them walk back into the warmth of the house._ _

__Lex hadn’t realised how cold she had gotten until she was hit by the heat of the living room. She puts Hannah down and takes off her coat._ _

__“I say next point of order is hot chocolate, dinner and bed.” Ethan declared, making his way into the kitchen._ _

__Hannah instantly recovered from her sleepy state and starts running after him, eager for the hot chocolate._ _


	16. Yo Girl

Hannah had been officially kicked out of her school. By the time it was the end of the term the only knowledge she had regained was the writing of her own name. It wouldn’t have mattered how much she knew, though, as the school would have gotten rid of her no matter what. She was just too different.

Ethan had dropped out of school to watch her before Lex had had the chance. He knew that Lex needed to graduate and that if she wasn’t at school with him then the odds were he wouldn’t be able to.

She’d gotten angry at him for this. Hannah was her sister after all. She was meant to be the one taking care of her. Ethan already watched her every day after school and a decent chunk of the weekend. She didn’t want to have to make him watch her during the day as well. But he had forced her hand and here they were.

He had started home schooling Hannah. He’d found a good method using the snow that fell in his backyard. He’d dress her up in all the winter clothes he could find and take her outside where they’d write letters and words in the snow.

Hannah loved it and made a great deal of progress. She was almost back to where she had been before, though she still hadn’t said a word. The silence was starting to worry Lex. She knew that Hannah would go through nonverbal periods because of things their mother did, but they had never lasted this long. It had been a little over a month at this point.

Lex had started googling speech therapy techniques to see if there were any that could work with Hannah. She hadn’t had any luck with the ones she’d tried so far. If they had the money then she would take Hannah to a professional, but there was no way they could afford it, even with Ethan working more.

He’d spend the first half of the day teaching Hannah at his house before relocating to the garage where she would play while he worked. Then when Lex showed up after her Toy-Zone shift Hannah would do school with her. 

It had become a routine for them. Lex and Hannah were still living with him and would all get ready together in the morning before going their separate ways. The days were long and exhausting, but each day they got a little bit closer to being able to leave Hatchetfield.

Ethan was half tempted for the three of them to get their own apartment in Hatchetfield so that they could get some more privacy away from his parents, but Lex had shot it down. It was a lot cheaper living rent free while they could, and they could save that money for California.

Hannah seemed to be loving their lives at the moment. She enjoyed doing home school much better than regular school. She liked how sometimes her lessons consisted of getting to go out into the snow. It could be hard sometimes for her to stay focused, but she was still learning.

Lex snuck over to Ethan while he worked at replacing a flat tyre. She wrapped her arms around him from behind. “How’re you going?” She asked kissing his cheek.

“All the better now that you’re here.” He turns around and returns the embrace, pressing a kiss to her lips. “How was school?”

“It definitely sucks a lot more without you, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to focus without you distracting me.” She said, kissing him briefly.

He laughs. It was true that he would spend his class time trying to distract her as much as possible. It was different now that he didn’t get to spend all day with her, though he figured that’s what it would be like once they move anyway, both of them planning to work fulltime. He did miss her though, a surprising amount.

“What?” She says smiling, having noticed him staring at her, thinking about who knew what.

“Huh?” He snaps out of his thoughts.

“What were you thinking about?” She asks, nudging him.

“Oh, just about how much I miss you while you’re at school all day.” He said kissing her.

She laughs. “You’re such a sap.” She says, returning the kiss. “I miss you too.” She whispered.

“Once we’re out of here, we’ll spend more time together, I promise.” He said.

It was then that Hannah wandered out of the breakroom, coming over to them.

“Hey, Banana. Did you have a good day?” lex asks, breaking away from Ethan so that she could pick up her sister. 

She nods, leaning into Lex.

She kisses the side of Hannah’s head. “Well, we should probably get working.” She said before turning back to Ethan. “I’ll see you once you knock off.” She said, giving him one last kiss before heading into the break room. She puts Hannah down in one of the chairs around the table, sitting down herself. She grabs paper and pencil and starts getting Hannah to write things.

They had gotten her a workbook that had different exercises in learning to read and write with both letters and numbers. 

“Let’s do this page today.” Lex said opening the book to a page dedicated to numbers. “You gotta write out all the different numbers and with each one I want you to show me how many fingers they are.” She instructed. She always did numbers like this so that she knew that Hannah understood the value of each one, rather than just how to draw the symbol.

Hannah started copying down each character. She found numbers easier to write than letters. It probably helped that there were less of them for her to remember.

“How many fingers is this one?” Lex asked pointing at the number five that Hannah was working on. She held out her hands with closed fists.

Slowly Hannah tapped out four fingers, which Lex then held up.

“You were doing fives, Banana. How many fingers did you tap?” She says, prompting Hannah into recounting and hopefully amending her mistake.

Hannah stared at them for a long while before tapping a fifth finger.

“Good job.” Lex said before directing her to do the next number.

They continued working through the page until Ethan came into the room, having finished his work for the day. 

“Okay, you two, let’s get home.” He said. Working and home-schooling Hannah all day was certainly tiring, and he always looked forward to crashing on the couch back at his house with Lex.

Hannah jumped up off of her chair, ready to continue her play time.

“Pack up your book, please Hannah.” Lex said as she too got up from the table.

She came back over, grabbing her book and pencil and shoving them into her falling apart backpack. She hands the bag over to Lex before going over to the door.

She swings it over her shoulder, picking up her own backpack and doing the same with it. She joins Hannah and Ethan at the door and the three of them begin the walk back to his house.

Hannah was happily skipping along, holding onto Ethan’s hand. She would hold out her other hand, brushing it through the snow that was pilled atop bushes that lines the path. Up ahead she spots a big mound of snow and decides she wants to walk through it. She steps off the path as they approach but as soon as she steps into the snow, she slams into something which causes her to fold in half. She immediately starts crying, not understanding what happened and feeling rather sore where she’d hit the something.

Ethan quickly picks her up, brushing snow off of her.

“You thought that was a nice pile of snow, didn’t you, Banana?” Lex says, rubbing Hannah’s back. She hadn’t seen her walk into the park bench but saw the Hannah shaped imprint in the snow that covered it.

She sniffles, continuing to cling on to Ethan.

“Does it hurt anywhere?” He asks.

She doesn’t give any sort of response.

He gives her a squeeze before they continued their journey.

* * *

“During lunch today I was looking up potential schools for Hannah in California.” She said. She and Ethan were cuddled up on the couch. Everyone else had already gone to bed and they finally got some alone time together. It was only ever this time of day that they really got to spend any sort of time just the two of them. They used to have their lunch breaks and free periods at school, but that had all changed now.

“Yeah?” He said, turning his focus away from the movie they were watching.

“Yeah. And I found this public school that has a really well funded special needs program.” She said, pulling up the website on her phone to show him. Luckily when her mum had smashed her phone, she had only done damage to the screen. So, while it was now a lot more difficult to read things, the phone itself still worked fine.

He took it, quickly skimming through the information. “Looks good.” He said handing it back.

“Yeah, the only problem is to properly benefit from the program Hannah would need to get a diagnosis.” Lex explained.

“A diagnosis of what?” He asked.

“Of whatever it is that makes it hard for her to learn.” She really had no idea what caused Hannah to be the way she was. Most people assumed she’d just been dropped on her head as a baby, but Lex knew that wasn’t true. She didn’t like to think of there being something wrong with Hannah. There was nothing wrong with her, she was just different.

“So, let’s get her one.” Ethan suggested, thinking it to be the easy and obvious solution.

“She’d need to see all sorts of doctors for that, and that’s not exactly cheap.” She had wanted to take Hannah to a doctor ever since she started school and Lex learnt that her sister wasn’t picking up anything the school was teaching her. But doctors were expensive. Not to mention that Lex wasn’t her parent/legal guardian, and she couldn’t risk someone of authority realising that they came from an abusive household. She couldn’t let herself and Hannah be separated.

“It can’t be that expensive, can it?” He knew that going to the doctor could be a bit pricey, but they’d saved heaps so surely they could afford a preliminary appointment at the least.

“I’ve looked it up and getting a diagnosis of some sort of mental or neurological disorder can cost over a thousand dollars, and we don’t even know what to get her tested for so it could take multiple tries.” She sighed. She wanted to get Hannah the help she needed but it was just so much money. Money that they didn’t have.

“Are you able to google what Hannah might have?” He knew nothing about this sort of thing and wouldn’t even know where to start.

“I’ve been googling since I got access to google. But I don’t even know what to google.” She sits forward, resting her elbows on her knees and holding her head in her hands.

Ethan wraps his arms around her, pulling her sideways into him. “What if we take her to the walk-in clinic and see if they can give us a better idea of what she might have and then decide what to do from there.” He suggests. He knew it was important to get Hannah a diagnosis, then even if she didn’t go to that particular school whatever one she did go to would be able to cater to her better. 

“Yeah, okay.” Lex said nodding, leaning into him, turning her attention back to the movie that had played in the background of their conversation.

They watch in silence for several minutes before Ethan speaks.

“Were there any decent apartments near this school?” He asks. There was no point trying to get Hannah into a particular school if they couldn’t live nearby.

“Not apartments, but there are town houses pretty close by that you can either buy or rent.” She says, pulling up a different website on her phone and showing him. 

He nods, scrolling through the different options. He liked the idea of a town house better than an apartment. They’d have a little more privacy and would have a small yard that Hannah could run around in. And it would be pretty cool to have their own place. The only downside was that they were a bit more expensive than an apartment would be, but if both he and Lex were working full time, which they were planning to do, they should be able to afford it. 

“It’s a pretty nice area too, and with the special needs program there would be lots more people that understood Hannah.” Lex continued. She really liked the sound of that school and the surrounding suburbs. She knew it would be a bit pricier than she would like, but more than anything she wanted what would be best for Hannah.

“It seems like a really good place for us to go, babe.” He said kissing the side of her head, handing back her phone. He typed the suburb into google maps and found that it was only an hour’s drive from the nearest beach, so they could definitely spend weekends there, soaking up the sun.

“You think so?” She asks, turning to face him. “It’s a bit more expensive than an apartment would be.”

He kisses her softly. “Yeah, I really think so.” He smiles at her, taking her hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

“What do we do now?” She asks. They seemed to have decided whereabouts in California that they wanted to go to, but she didn’t know where to start for them to actually be able to live there.

“We work to get Hannah enrolled in that program, and we look for a place we can rent, and look for jobs nearby.” He said. He didn’t know in what order they should do these things, nor how hard they would be. 

She nods. “So, when’s a good time to take Hannah to the clinic?” 

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” He asks as they pull into the trailer park.

“Yeah.” She says. “Kinda have to do it.”

“You don’t have to go in, though. I could do that.” He looks over at her. He could tell she was nervous about going back into the trailer after having been away from it for so long. He takes her hand and gives it a squeeze.

She squeezes back looking straight ahead. “I’m doing it.” She knew that her mum wasn’t there, so she’d be fine. Before she has time to second guess herself, she opens the door and climbs out of the car.

“I’ll text you if I see her.” He said.

She nods, shutting the door and heading across the muddy ground to her mother’s trailer. She was surprised to see that there was no notice of eviction since Lex hadn’t paid rent for the place in about two months.

The bedroom window was still open a crack after last time she’d been here. She takes a deep breath and pushes it up all the way before climbing inside. She was nervous about being back in the trailer.

Everything was a mess. It was like the time her mother had broken the door down but worse. Anything and everything that could be torn apart had been. Anything of hers or Hannah’s that had been left behind was completely destroyed.

Lex moved past the decimated items and stepped out into the main room. It was equally as messy with a strong stench of rotten food. She notices that the light fixture she had been taped to had been cut down, the glass from the bulb spread out across the floor. She walks around it, trembling slightly, heading into her mother’s room.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in there. Probably not since she was close to Hannah’s age. Going into Pamela’s room had always resulted in serious consequences. 

She starts searching the room for any form of photo ID that she could use. She needed it so that she could pretend to be Pamela and take Hannah to the psychologist that the clinic had recommended.

She opens up the wardrobe and sees on the very top shelf was a large jar full of money.

“What the fuck.” She mutters grabbing the jar. She was going to take it with her. Most of it was probably hers to begin with.

She continues her search, opening every drawer and cupboard. Under a bunch of papers in the bottom drawer of the dresser she found her mum’s driver’s license. Surprisingly it was still valid despite Lex never recalling Pamela ever driving anywhere. She didn’t even own a car.

She shoves the license into her pocket, beginning to replace the papers. She catches a glimpse of what was one them and pauses. One page in particular caught her eye. It looked like it had been printed to go into a scrap book or photo album but had never made it. There were three photos on the page. They weren’t the best quality but in each was a much younger version of Pamela holding Lex, who appeared to have been no older than three. Standing with them was a man she didn’t recognise. He looked to be around the same age as Pamela. All three of them were smiling at the camera. Next to the images was a brief description.

_Off to the park for little Lexi’s third birthday._

She frowned. This sort of thing didn’t match the mother that she knew. And who was that man with her? She needs to know more. She hurriedly begins riffling through all the other pages in the drawer, only being distracted from her task when her phone began ringing. 

She answers it. “What?” She asks, slightly annoyed at having been interrupted from her search for answers.

“Didn’t you see my texts? Your mum’s coming back.” Ethan said on the other end.

“Shit. Okay, I’m coming.” She hangs up the phone and starts packing up, though chooses to keep the page with the photos. She shoves it into the money jar to make it easier to carry and makes her way back into the room that had once belonged to her and Hannah.

Lex peers out the window seeing her mother stumble over to the front door. Her breathing started to come faster and more panicked, though she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the smiling, happy woman in the photos. She quickly steps back from the glass to make sure she wasn’t spotted. Her hands were trembling, making it hard to keep a grip on the jar.

She closes her eyes, trying to calm herself down as she waits for her mum to open the door and enter the trailer so that she could make her escape. After what felt like hours, she heard the latch click and the door swing open. Without hesitating she climbs out the window and runs across the trailer park.

Ethan had gotten out of the car and met her halfway.

She didn’t realise how panicked she had gotten until she drew closer to him. She dropped the jar on the ground, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could.

He hugged her back. “Are you okay?” He asks.

She doesn’t give him any sort of answer, continuing to embrace him. She was comforted by his presence, breathing him in. “Let’s get out of here.” She muttered, barely letting go.

“Yeah.” He kisses the top of her head. Without breaking contact from her he bends down and picks up the jar and the two of them walk back to the car. He knew that it wasn’t the best idea to send her back into the trailer, but he couldn’t force her to stay put and let him do it. He would never be able to force her to do anything, and he didn’t want to. He just didn’t want her to get hurt by going in there. He knew that having grown up in that trailer had done a number on her mentally. The other day a lightbulb had blown, and she went to fix it only to start freaking out. He was pretty sure that was because of her mum taping her to a light and leaving her there.

There were so many other little things that would make her start to panic, things that hadn’t elicited such reactions previously. He was pretty sure that her childhood was catching up to her. He was worried about her. He wanted for her to feel safe.

The two of them parted so that they could climb into their respective sides of the car. Once inside he takes her hand and squeezes it.

“Are you okay?” He asks, repeating his question from before.

She smiles softly at him. “I’m fine.” Being back int the trailer had brought a few memories to the forefront of her mind and the appearance of her mother had sent her into a frenzy. But now she was out of there and she was sitting next to Ethan in the safety of his car. Hannah was safe back at his house being watch by his dad. She very much wanted to get back there and give her sister a hug.

Soon, they’d be out of Hatchetfield and she wouldn’t have to worry about her mother of the trailer ever again. She’d gotten the ID so they were one step closer to getting Hannah a diagnosis and then they could start applying for that school. She couldn’t wait to leave this shitty town behind her.


	17. Meant to Be Yours

It was very early in the morning and she was lying on her side, using one arm as a pillow while the other held the page with the three photos in front of her. She kept looking at it, the deep creases and fold lines on the page suggested as much. She was trying to understand what had happened for things to go from that happy smiling photo to what she remembered. The man confused her the most. Who was he and what had happened to him?

“Hey, what are you doing up?” Ethan muttered from where he was lying next to her, rolling over so that he was now looking over her shoulder. They were both lying on the pull-out sofa bed in the living room. Lex was meant to be sharing with Hannah, but always stayed and slept with Ethan.

She shrugs. “Dunno, I just woke up.” She lies. She had woken up a few hours ago from a nightmare and didn’t want to go back to sleep, though she didn’t particularly want to talk about that.

He knew she was lying but decides not to push her. He kisses her just below the ear, propping himself up on his elbow so he could see what she was looking at. “Those pictures again, huh?” He’d caught her studying them fairly regularly in the weeks since she acquired the paper.

She quickly folds the paper back up along the worn crease lines, moving to tuck it away.

He runs his hand down her arm until it comes to rest over the hand holding the paper. “You don’t have to hide it from me, you know?” He says softly.

She doesn’t say anything, pulling her hand away and finishing hiding the paper. She didn’t know why she was so secretive about it. Maybe she was just embarrassed at how much she looked at it and thought about it. She just wanted answers but doubted she would get any which was just making her frustrated.

She rolls over to face him, smiling softly. “Let’s get some more sleep before Hannah wakes up.” She says, brushing his messy hair out of his face.

He studies her for a few moments. “Are you going alright?” He asks.

“Of course, I am.” She says, pulling the blanket up a little higher.

“But something’s bothering you.” He said matter-of-factly.

“What makes you think that?” She asks.

“Lex, whatever it is that you keep thinking, you can talk to me about it. I know finding those pictures has made you have all sorts of questions about your childhood.” He smiles softly at her, combing his fingers through her hair.

She should talk to him. She knows that she should, but there was just too much going on in their lives for her to burden him with it. She returns his smiles, kissing him. “Can we just cuddle for a bit?” She asks quietly. She really just wanted to feel the safety of his embrace so that she could forget about her nightmare.

“Yeah, okay.” He says wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, planting a kiss on the top of her head. He felt her relax into him, so different from how she had once tensed at the slightest touch from him. He knew that they’d need to talk at some point, but right now he was content to just hold her, knowing that she was safe. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” She replied, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, her arms wrapped around him.

It wasn’t long after this that they hear the pitter-patter of Hannah’s footsteps make their way down the stairs. She was always an early riser, often waking at the crack of dawn. She made her way downstairs and over to where Lex and Ethan were. She climbs up onto the sofa bed and wriggles her way between them. She always liked being squashed tightly between them.

“Morning, Banana.” Lex said, running a hand through her sister’s hair.

Hannah tapped her lips, indicating that she was hungry or thirsty.

“Let’s get you some breakfast then.” Lex said, moving to get up, but Hannah whines and pulls her back down. “I can’t cuddle with you and get you food at the same time, Banana.” She explained.

She held on to Lex with one hand, tapping her lips with the other, trying to get her message across.

“We can’t do both.” She said. “You need to choose one or the other.”

Hannah pouted, her eyes starting to glisten with tears. She wanted to have it both ways and didn’t understand why she couldn’t.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Lex said, she wraps her arms around her sister, shifting them so that they were both sitting up, Hannah on her lap.

She whines again, wanting to lie back down. She still hadn’t made any improvements in her speech, despite Lex’s efforts.

Ethan sits up next to them. “Hey, I’ll grab you some food, Banana, and then we can all snuggle up together for a little bit before school, how does that sound?” He suggests, starting to stand up.

She starts crying, grabbing onto his arm so he couldn’t go anywhere.

“Let go of him, please Hannah.” Lex said, trying to pry Hannah’s fingers off of him. “He’ll be back real soon, okay?”

“Yeah, you’ll barely notice I’m gone.” He says. “And if you behave maybe Lexi will let you watch some Barbie while I’m gone.” He suggests. Hannah had recently gotten into the Barbie movies adding them to the list of things to calm her down or bribe her with.

After thinking for a few seconds, she lets go of him, though stays firmly attached to Lex.

“Which one do you want to watch?” She asked.

Hannah brushes a finger down Lex’s arm in a criss-cross pattern.

“You wanna watch the Rapunzel one?” She knew that _Barbie as Rapunzel_ was one of Hannah’s favourites. She even tried copying the movie by running around with a paintbrush and trying to paint herself magical doorways. The real paint was kept well out of her reach so that she didn’t accidentally get it on the walls or furniture. She was allowed to use water though. The main downside to this was that she’d walk into where she’d ‘painted’ on the walls, thinking she’d made a door, only to walk away with a bruise on her heard. She’d had quite a few tantrums about her ‘painting’ not working. She just didn’t seem to quite grasp that what happens in the movie was make believe. She had a similar problem with _Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses_.

Lex set up the movie and hit play.

Hannah immediately started complaining grabbing at the remote in Lex’s hands.

“What’s wrong?” She asks. She was starting to get the feeling that today was going to be a difficult day. This was going to make getting Hannah to her psychologist appointment even more difficult than it normally was. Lex and Ethan had to explain to Hannah that Lex was going to pretend to be their mum. This had resulted in her crying loudly and trying to get away from Lex while hiding behind Ethan. It had taken a while to coax Hannah out from hiding and convince her that Lex wasn’t going to hurt her and that she was just going to be borrowing their mum’s name. They had to go through this process for each appointment they went to. Though hopefully, this would be the last one.

Hannah tapped her mouth.

“I know you’re hungry, Ethan’s getting you some food.” She said.

She decided to get up from lex’s lap and made her way into the kitchen, grabbing Ethan and trying to drag him back out into the living room. She didn’t want him to miss out on the movie.

“Hey, just wait a little longer and I’ll have your breakfast for you.” He says. He had been cutting up pieces of fruit for her, arranging them so that each piece was separated from all the others. He’d learnt the hard way that Hannah didn’t like her food touching.

She grumbled a little but allowed him to finish up.

Once done, he picks up her plate in one hand, and holds onto her with the other and the two of them walk into the living room. 

Lex had paused the movie in Hannah’s absence and waits for them to sit back down until she pressed play.

* * *

“Where’d you go?” Bradley asks as she walked past him to get back into the school building.

She had left during her free period to attend Hannah’s appointment where they had received the results of the psychologists testing. She ignores Bradley, moving into the hallway so she could make her next class. She hadn’t really wanted to come back to school as she was still processing the diagnosis, but her exams were coming up and she couldn’t afford to miss any class time.

“Hey, I was talking to you!” He says, running after her.

She continues to ignore him. She had too much on her mind at that moment to deal with his bullshit.

He grabs her arm, but she shoves him off and ducks into her classroom. She sits down in her seat and grabs out her books, opening them up so that she could start studying.

He enters the room after her, taking the seat next to her where Ethan would normally sit if he was still attending school. “I haven’t seen your boyfriend lately. What happened to him? Did you too break up or something?” He asks, leaning close to her.

She ignores him, doing her best to concentrate on her work. She still had a lot to memorise if she wanted to go well on her upcoming exams.

He snaps his fingers in front of her face, trying to garner her attention. “Hello?”

She turns the page in her textbook, using the motion to push his hand out of her face. She’s not absorbing any word that she reads, her thoughts too distracted with Hannah’s diagnosis and ignoring Bradley.

Bradley decides to try a different tactic. “What are you reading?” He takes the textbook away from her.

Instead of trying to get the book back, she opens up her exercise book and starts writing down as much as she could from what little information she remembered reading. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging his existence.

“I know you’re just playing hard to get.” He says, moving closer to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Her entire body tenses from the contact, so much so that she could barely continue writing. Her breathing became faster. She just wanted him to go away and leave her alone, but she knew from experience that telling him or shoving him didn’t work.

“This is pretty.” He says, walking his fingers along the top of her shoulder until he reaches the chain of her locket. He grabs it, pulling on it slightly.

In an instant she shoves him away with as much force as she could muster, her mind flashing back to her mother grabbing the very same chain. All of a sudden, she was finding it hard to breathe. She abandons her books and runs as fast as she could into the girls’ bathroom, locking herself inside a stall. She held a hand to her throat, clutching the necklace as she gasped out sobs between shallow breaths. All she could think about was her mother and the trailer. The thoughts were consuming her, and it was like she was once again being pinned to the floor, the necklace twisted tightly around her windpipe.

She wanted to call Ethan and hear his voice. But what would she say to him? She didn’t want him worrying about her.

She needed to make sure that Hannah was safe.

She didn’t know how to get rid of these all-consuming thoughts that continued to bombard her. With every breath she took she could almost feel the chain growing tighter. She didn’t know what to do. 

She knew she needed to go back to class but she didn’t want to leave the bathroom. She didn’t want to run into Bradley and risk him grabbing her locket again.

She was becoming more and more panicked with every second. She needed to call Ethan; he would be able to help her.

With shaking hands, she pulls her phone out of her pocket, turning it on before dropping it. It hits the floor with a loud thud, the screen flickers before turning off.

“No.” She whispered, hastily grabbing the phone from the floor. She fiddled with it trying to get it to turn back on. “No, no, no.” She mutters as she desperately presses at the power button. “Fuck, no.” She’s moments away from throwing her floor against the wall when it flickers back to life. She fumbles, hunting down Ethan’s contact and pressing on it.

“Hey babe.” He says, picking up after a few rings.

“Ethan.” She said between her sobs. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, immediately knowing that something had happened to make her upset.

“Is Hannah okay?” She asks, ignoring his question.

“Yeah, she’s fine.” He says, Hannah’s happy giggles were audible in the background. “What’s going on? Are you alright?” Never before had he gotten a call from her in the middle of the day. She rarely called him general, she mostly just texted him.

Lex didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t know how to express what was happening inside her mind. 

“Lex?” He’s definitely concerned. “Did something happen?”

She nods, but then realises that he can’t see her. “Yeah.” She whispers.

“Do you want me to come and get you?” He asks, already moving to get his keys. He wants to know what had happened to elicit such a reaction from her but knows that there’s no way that she’s about to tell him over the phone.

She wants him to. She wants him to come and wrap her in his arms and make her feel safe again. She wants him to free her from the thoughts that continue to plague her. But she also worried that if Bradley had followed her to the bathroom that Ethan might see him and start another fight. She didn’t think she could handle that. “I have to go back to class.” 

“Babe, something’s happened and you’re upset. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be there with you.” He didn’t want her going back to class while she was in her current state. He gets Hannah and starts helping her put on her shoes. He really wanted to get to Lex.

“You don’t have to.” She knew he was meant to be starting work soon and she couldn’t make him be late for that; they needed the money.

“I want to.” He said. He finished doing up Hannah’s shoes and takes her hand, bringing her out to the car and buckling her into her seat. “Where are you?” He asks, moving into the driver’s seat and starting up the car, quickly pulling out onto the road.

“You have work soon.” She protests. As much as she wanted for him to be there with him, she wasn’t a priority. She’d be fine eventually.

“You’re more important.” He starts driving towards Hatchetfield High, knowing she was most likely there or nearby, seeing as that was where he’d dropped her off not too long ago.

“No.”

“Tell me where you are, babe.” He draws closer to the school. Between every word and sentence she said he could hear her crying. It hurt his heart to hear it. He needed to get to her. Even if the situation wasn’t dire, he still needed to be there for her, otherwise what sort of a boyfriend would he be? He cared about her too much just to leave her when it was clear that something was wrong.

“Are you coming?” Her voice was almost disbelieving. She seemed to have forgotten until then how much he loved her.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” He reassures her. He pulls into the school carpark, gets out of the car, grabs Hannah and heads inside. “Where are you?” He asks again.

“Bathroom.” She says. Her hands were still shaking and her phone slips from her grasp, crashing onto the floor. “Shit.” She fumbles to pick it up, only to find that the call to Ethan had disconnected and her phone wasn’t turning back on. She clutches it tightly in her hand. She’s practically bent over double as she sobs, hoping that he manages to find her.

Ethan starts running around to the different bathrooms in the school, bringing Hannah along behind him. He would send Hannah into the girls’ bathrooms to check and see if Lex was in any of them, but so far, they hadn’t had any luck. But there was one last bathroom to check.

“Okay, Banana, go see if Lexi is in there.” He instructed pushing the door open for Hannah to go through.

She went in, it was empty except for one occupied stall at the far end. She went over to it and peered through the gap between the bottom of the door and the floor.

“Hannah?” Lex said spotting her sister looking up at her.

Hannah waved at her before going back out to get Ethan. She opens the door and grabs his hand to pull him inside.

“Good job, Banana.” He says, going inside with her. “Now stay in this room, okay?” He didn’t want her wondering off while he was helping Lex. He pulls a paintbrush out of his jacket pocket and hands it to her. “Do some painting while you wait.”

Hannah grabs the brush from him and starts singing to herself waggling it about.

He goes straight over to the stall door, knocking lightly on it. “Babe, it’s me. Can I come in?” He asks gently.

She unlocks the door and immediately clings onto Ethan, though she still clutches the locket in one hand. He wraps his arms tightly around her. She cries into his chest, finding a sliver of relief at his presence.

“It’s okay.” He whispers kissing the top of her head. “You’re safe.” He holds her as tightly as he could, wanting to comfort her.

She slowly starts calming down, her tears slowing to a halt, though she doesn’t let go of him. “I’m sorry.” She says quietly.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He pulls back a little bit so that he could look at her. He smiles softly, wiping away the tears that still clung to her cheeks before kissing her forehead.

“You’re meant to be at work.” She says. While she was still relieved that he was there with her, she felt terribly guilty for having dragged him away from something as important as work. It wasn’t much longer until they were to leave for California and they needed as much money as possible if they were going to be able to make it there.

“I’d rather be here with you.” He brushes a few loose strands of hair out of her face.

“But work’s important.” She protests.

“Not as important as you.” There was never going to be a time where he would prioritise work over Lex. She was the best part of his life and he was going to do everything he could to be with her as much as possible and be there for her as much as possible.

“I love you.” She says leaning her hand back against his chest.

“I love you too.” He rests his head on top of hers. He wants to know what had happened to make her cry and he wanted to make sure it never happened again. His heart broke every time he saw her cry. He hoped that she wouldn’t ever need to cry when they were in California.

She lets of him, taking a step back. “I should be getting back to class.” She makes to step past him, but he stops her.

“You really want to go back to class?” He looks at her concerned.

“I’ve got exams soon.” She said, pushing past him and out into the main part of the bathroom where Hannah is happily pretending to paint on the walls.

Hannah looks up and sees Lex. She runs over to her, jumping into her arms. Hannah points over to where she’d been ‘painting’.

“That’s a really good painting, Banana.” She says, kissing the side of Hannah’s head. She puts her back down and goes over to the sink, turning on the water and washing her face.

Ethan comes over and stands beside her, running a hand up and down her back. “Can you tell me what happened? You don’t have to though, not if you don’t want to.” He says. He wants to make sure that she’s okay beyond just having stopped crying.

She turns off the tap, her hand going back to the locket around her neck. She starts fidgeting with it, sorting through her thoughts. The feeling of her mother chocking her was still there, but Ethan’s presence was helping her stay in reality; a reality where she hadn’t seen her mum in a few months.

She took a deep breath, continuing to hold the locket as she turns to face him. “Bradley tugged at my necklace and I thought that my mum was strangling me again.” She says quietly. She couldn’t help but feel pathetic for having thought her mum was there. She was embarrassed by her reaction. Some guy had touched her necklace and she’d had what she could only describe as a panic attack. It was such a stupid reaction she was pathetic for having it. She should’ve just told him to fuck off and everything would have been fine. But her mind had betrayed her, and she’d ran away crying. A stray tear rolled down her cheek.

Ethan wiped it away, pulling her into a hug. “You’re mum’s not here, you’re safe.” He says, hoping to make her feel better. He was definitely angry towards Bradley for having touched her, but he kept that buried deep. He needed to focus on Lex; he would teach Bradley a lesson another time when she wasn’t there. 

“I know. It’s stupid that I thought she was there. I’m stupid.” She said, breaking away from Ethan’s hug.

“You’re not stupid.” He grabs her hand, giving it a soft squeeze. “The things your mum did to you were insane. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to have some trauma from living with her for so long.”

She rips her hand away from him. “I’m not traumatized.” She glares at him. She wasn’t traumatized, she was just pathetic; like her mum had always told her she was. “You think I’ve gotten all messed up from all the shit my mum did, don’t you?” She didn’t really know why she was angry at him. She was just feeling so many emotions and had felt so many emotions that day and now it was all coming out. Deep down she knew she wasn’t angry at him, but at herself, it was all just being directed at him.

“I’m saying that your mum did things to you that no one should have to experience, and that something happened and triggered that memory.” He gestured to the locket. He would still sometimes see the image of Lex lying there practically dead on the floor, and still had nightmares about it. The memory of her hanging from that light had also been added to the nightmares. He couldn’t imagine what Lex must go through having lived those things and more. He thought it perfectly reasonable that small actions would trigger the memories. He’d seen it happen to her before and didn’t doubt he’d see it again.

She keeps glaring at him, hot angry tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m a mess.” She whispers, breaking out into sobs once more.

He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close to him. “You’re not a mess. And before you say it, you’re not broken either.” 

“What am I then?” She asks.

“You’re Lex.” He says simply.

She lets out a short laugh at his rather obvious answer.

“You’re Hannah’s sister. You’re my girlfriend. You’re smart and beautiful and talented and amazing.” With each thing he listed he kissed different places all over her face. “We’re gonna be in California soon, where we can live a long and happy lives and you’ll never have to think about your mother ever again.”

She kisses him softly. “I love you.” A small part of her was still angry, but she wasn’t going to be angry at him anymore. He was always so good to her and that was one of the reasons that she loved him so much.

“I love you too.” He kisses her back. “Now what do you say to going home?”


	18. Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

Because they weren’t going to get to California until the summer when school was out, they arranged to have a meeting with the principal of what would hopefully be Hannah’s school over video chat. Ethan’s laptop was opened up and ready to go sitting across from them on the coffee table. Hannah sat squashed between Lex and Ethan on the couch. She didn’t particularly want to talk to a stranger on the computer, she’d much rather be watching TV.

“Can you sit still please, Hannah?” Lex instructed. She really wanted to make a good impression so that Hannah could go to this school. If she didn’t get in, then the whole plan for California would have to be rearranged.

She grumbled a little but resolves to lean against her sister.

The laptop lit up with the incoming call. Ethan pressed the answer button before sitting back and making himself comfortable.

“Hi.” Said the rather cheery principal through the computer screen. “I’m Ms Kenton, it’s great to meet you guys.” She said with a wide smile.

Lex and Ethan both introduced themselves.

“And that must be Hannah.” Ms Kenton said waving at her.

“Can you say ‘hi’, Banana?” Lex asked, trying to prompt her into acknowledging the woman who would hopefully become her school principal.

Hannah just buried her face into Lex’s side. She didn’t know who the strange computer lady was.

“Sorry.” Lex apologised. “She’s being a bit shy today.”

“That’s alright.” The principal said. “Can you tell me a bit about her? You mentioned in your email that you wanted to put her in the special education program?” 

“Yeah, so at her last school she had a lot of trouble with learning just because she wasn’t being given the extra help and attention that she needed. We recently found out that she’s autistic, which explains why her behaviour is so different to other kids her age.” Lex explained.

“Her psychologist also said that she may also be dyslexic.” Ethan added. 

Ms Kenton nods, taking down a few notes. “What’s her literacy like?” She asks.

“We’ve taught her the alphabet and we’re working on her learning how to write different words, though we’re not sure to what level she can read and understand them.” She said. With Hannah still not really talking there was no way for them to know if she actually understood the words she was writing or if she was just copying what was put in front of her. They knew that she could recognise each of their names but couldn’t be sure beyond that.

“She’s really good with numbers.” He says. He holds out two closed fists to Hannah. “Hey, Banana, can you show Ms Kenton a number seven?” He asked. He really wanted to show off how smart Hannah was. 

She turns her head to look at him. After thinking for a few seconds, she taps eight of his fingers.

“You sure that’s a seven?” He prompted her to recognise her mistake.

After a few more seconds she pushes down one of his fingers.

He grinned and ruffled her hair. “Good job.” He said.

Ms Kenton wrote down a few more notes. “What grade level would you say she is?”

Lex thinks. “She was repeating first grade this year but in terms of how much she knows she’s probably still at about a preschool-kindergarten range. Though we’re working with her every day to try and get her up to hopefully a second grade level by next school year.” She didn’t want Hannah to have to repeat a year again. She was worried that her social skills wouldn’t be able to mature properly if she was being constantly kept with kids’ years younger than her.

“That’s rather ambitious.” She says. “You mentioned that you are currently home schooling her and that she was improving really well, why change that?”

“Well, we both work.” Ethan said. “We’re both part time at the moment so that’s how we’re making the home school work out, but we’re hoping to both be full time next year.” He explained.”

She nods. “How do think Hannah would find a typical school environment after having adjusted to one-on-one schooling?”

“It would probably be hard for her at first, but she’d get used to it fairly quickly, I think.” Lex said. “What’s the student-teacher ratio for the special education program?” She asked.

“It’s typically ten students to a teacher and depending on the group there may be a few assistants. Some students do have their own personal support staff who don’t normally help other students however.” She explained. “What would you say Hannah’s social skills are like?”

Lex and Ethan look at each other before she speaks. “She very rarely interacts with anyone apart from us.”

“I see.” Ms Kenton takes down a few more notes. “Is she verbal at all.”

“She goes through phases.” Lex said. “She can speak but sometimes she goes through patches of being nonverbal. Right now is one of those phases. She hasn’t spoken for a few months, but she’s pretty good at making sure we know what she wants.” She wrapped an arm around Hannah, giving her a squeeze. “We’re hoping that being around other kids her age it’ll help her with her speech because she’ll need to talk if she wants to be able to communicate with them.”

Hannah still wasn’t too keen on the computer lady and was starting to get a bit wriggly. She wanted to go outside and run around or get some food or watch a Barbie movie, she didn’t mind which. She just didn’t want to have to keep sitting on the couch listening to everyone talking about her. She grabs Lex and makes a small whining noise at her.

“Yeah?” She says quietly turning her attention to her sister while Ethan spoke to Ms Kenton. “What’re you after?”

She brushes her finger in a criss-cross pattern down Lex’s arm.

“We can’t watch Rapunzel right now.” She says. “Maybe later, okay?”

Hannah grumbles. She then taps her lips. If she can’t have Barbie, then maybe she could have food.

“You can’t be hungry you only just ate. Are you thirsty?” She asks.

She shrugs, leaning heavily into Lex. She doesn’t think that she’ll be allowed to leave, so she decides that she won’t ask. She gets up and runs off into the next room.

“Hannah, come back please.” Lex calls, quickly turning to Ms Kenton. “Sorry about this.” She says. She had been really hoping to make a good impression but wasn’t sure Hannah running off was going to achieve that.

Before she can get up from the couch and go after her sister, Ethan places a hand on her knee and stands up. “I’ll go grab her, babe.” He said. He knew it would be easier for the interview to continue while getting Hannah if Lex was the one talking to Ms Kenton. She had been the one to be at the psychologist appointments in person, after all.

He walks into the other room in the direction that Hannah had run in. “Hey Banana, where’d you go?” He says, calling out to her, though not too loud so he doesn’t disrupt the interview. He rounds another corner and sees her sitting down in the middle of the hallway trying to put her shoes on. 

She’d managed to get one onto the wrong foot and was now attempting the same with the other.

“Where’re you going?” He asks her.

She looks up at him, pointing in the direction of the door.

“You wanna go outside?”

She nods, continuing to try and get her other shoe to go on her foot.

“When we finish with your school interview we can go outside. But if you don’t come back and finish then we won’t be able to.” He said, hoping that the prospect of going outdoors would be enticing enough to get her to return to the couch.

She crosses her arms and shakes her head.

“Why not?” He asks, going over and sitting down next to her.

She shrugs, not knowing how to explain to him how she didn’t like how they were talking to someone on the computer. She wanted to do something fun instead.

“Will you come back with me if I let you play with your Play-Doh?” He asks. 

She tilted her head to the side, thinking. She nods and hands him her other shoe.

“You can where your shoes too if you like.” He laughs, taking her other shoe off and putting it on the correct foot, doing the same with the other one and doing up the laces for both. He then takes her hand and stands up and together they walk back to the couch going via a tub of Play-Doh. He sits back down on the couch next to Lex and Hannah climbs onto his lap, sitting there and playing with her Play-Doh.

* * *

The weather had slowly started warming up and the sun shone brightly as Lex began her walk from work to school. She still wore a jacket as the wind was still on the colder side. Her bag was heavy, filled to the brim with all the textbooks she needed to study that night. Her final exams were the following week, and though she had no collegiate aspirations she still wanted to do well. 

She was about to turn the corner to where she’d be able to see the mall but before she can she stops dead in her tracks. Emerging from around said bend came her mother. Never once had Lex seen her mother in the vicinity of the mall. She had a feeling as to why Pamela would be there. She was looking for Lex.

Before she had a chance to turn around and high tail it out of there, her mother came right up to her, grabbing hold of her jacket.

“You have something that belongs to me.” Pamela said low and threateningly.

“No, I don’t.” She shook her head, her breathing starting to grow fast and shallow.

“Yes, you do.” Pamela uses Lex’s jacket to pull her closer, breathing her alcohol filled breath into her face. “You took my money.”

Lex had taken a jar of cash from her mother’s room, but that money had almost certainly been hers to begin with, and even if it wasn’t Pamela had stolen enough of her money for taking the jar to be justified. “That was mine.” She says.

“No, it fucking wasn’t.” She pulled Lex so close that to any onlooker it would have appeared as if they were hugging. “Now.” She whispers. “You’re gonna come with me or I’ll hunt down that little bitch you love so much and slit her throat.”

Lex heard the sound of her mother opening her pocketknife and knew she meant business. Lex also knew that she was safer from her mother’s abuse out in public like they were and that if she went with her then things would go downhill fast. But she couldn’t risk Pamela going after Hannah, so she disregarded her own safety and nodded.

“Good girl.” She said, keeping a hold of Lex and began making a beeline for the trailer.

Lex felt her heartrate increase with every step they took towards that wretched place. She had hoped she was done with the trailer, but apparently it still had some more torture left in it for her. As they walked she tried to see if she could subtly send a message to Ethan, but Pamela would poke her with the knife every time she went to dip her hand into her pocket.

Her mother marched her all the way across town until they eventually reached the trailer park. She flung open the door to their trailer and shoved Lex inside. 

She hit her shin on the steps that led into her old home, laying sprawled in the doorway. She quickly scrambled further inside before her mother became infuriated at her for blocking the entrance.

The trailer was just as messy as it had been the last time she was there, though it definitely stunk worse. Pamela hadn’t even tried to clean it one bit.

“Do you recall what I said to you the last time I saw you?” Pamela asked, slamming the door shut and locking it.

Lex didn’t say anything, slowly and cautiously making her way up to her feet.

“Answer me!” She slashed at her with the pocketknife. She missed actually hurting Lex but cut the strap of her backpack so that it now hung off only one shoulder.

This happened to be her bad shoulder, which complained at now baring the full eight of her schoolbooks. Lex allowed the bag to fall to the ground.

“I told you that you better be dead, didn’t I?” Pamela took a few steps towards her, brandishing the knife.

Lex backs away but walks into a stack of dirty dishes which crash to the floor.

“Bitch!” Her mother yelled, moving forward to try and stab her.

She tries to get away, attempting to run into the bedroom where she could hopefully climb out of the window. Before she manages, however, she trips over an abandoned carton of beer. She plummets to the floor, managing to attain several cuts from shards of the porcelain dishes she had tipped over before. She immediately knew she was done for, turning to see her mother standing over her. She had been lucky in the past, her mother leaving before she actually managed to kill her. But this time Lex didn’t think she would be as lucky.

Her mother smiled down at her wickedly. “You know I’m not leaving until your dead.” She said. “But I do want to have some fun along the way; make up for lost time so to speak.”

Lex felt herself begin to tremble with the fear of what her mother possibly had planned. But she wasn’t going to let her fear get the better of her. Before her mother did anything, she grabbed the piece of paper with the photos on it our of her pocket, unfolded it and shoved it in Pamela’s face. “Who is that man?” She asks. If her mother was going to kill her, she at least wanted answers before she died.

“Where the fuck did you get this from?” Pamela was taken aback. She herself hadn’t seen those photos in years and had all but forgotten about them.

“Who is he, mum?” She asks again. “If you’re gonna kill me then what do have to lose in telling me?” She says, managing to prop herself up on her elbows.

“You don’t get to ask questions.” She said, snatching up the paper, crinkling it up and throwing it away. “Especially questions about your good for nothing father.” Without realising she had answered Lex’s question.

She had speculated that the man had been her father, Ethan had suggested as much too. But she hadn’t dared actually think that she may have a father out there somewhere. “What’s his name? What happened to him?” She presses. She needs to know why he didn’t raise her, why she was left to spend her life with her horrible mother.

“No questions!” Pamela kicks Lex hard in the face, sending her back down onto the floor.

Lex saw black spots as her head made contact with the hard floor beneath her and she was momentarily stunned.

A moment was all Pamela needed. She sat atop of Lex, pinning her to the floor before pulling out several cable ties from her pocket, using them to bind Lex’s hands and feet together. “I’d like to see you try and get out of these.” She says smugly. She gets up, walking into the kitchenette before returning with a new roll of duct tape, using it on Lex’s hands before putting a few more cable ties around them for good measure.

Her bounds were done up so tightly that Lex knew that pretty soon she’d lose circulation in her hands.

Before Lex had time to realise what was happening her mother pulled out a baseball bat from out of a pile of rubbish and began beating her with it. She tried not to show the pain in her face, but seemingly failed.

“I’m so sorry, am I hurting you?” Pamela said sarcastically, briefly pausing in the beating. “Don’t worry, this is just a warmup.” She gives Lex a few more wacks before stopping, she walks over to the other side of the room where she picked up a length of barbed wire and began meticulously wrapping it around the baseball bat.

Lex takes the moment of reprieve to collect herself and try and figure out a way to get away from her mother. She manages to grab a shard of porcelain, hoping that maybe she could use it to cut herself free. With what little feeling she had in her hands she began using the shard to start picking away at the duct tape. Even as her mother returns with the now spikey baseball bat and resumes hitting her, she continues to try and free her hands.

The barbs pricked at her skin, tearing away at her clothing. Now Lex was most definitely glad for having warn a jacket that day, the extra layer of cloth protecting her, if only a little bit. She tries not to cry as she feels herself become increasingly covered in a multitude of tiny cuts.

After a few minutes, Pamela grows too tired to continue with this method of torture and throws the bat aside. She pants slightly as she stares down at her daughter, seeing the tears in her eyes. She starts walking back and forth across the room. “You have yourself a boyfriend, don’t you?” She asks.

Lex chooses not to answer, knowing that saying anything would make things worse for her.

“You probably think that you love each other, don’t you? You probably think that you’ll get married and have kids and live happily ever after.” She spoke in a taunting manner. “Well, let me tell you something; those dreams all come to shit. As soon as he’s had his way with you, he’ll leave you out on the street with nothing!” She yelled, coming over to Lex, brandishing her pocketknife. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to let him ruin your life the way your father ruined mine.” She kneels down beside her, taking the knife and slowly begins to push into Lex’s lower stomach right below the waistband of her pants.

Before the blade got too deep, Lex kicked out, knocking her mother over, though the action drove the knife further into her. She ignored the pain she was in and sat up, withdrawing the knife as she did so, quickly using it to cut her feet free and stood up before her mother had a chance to recover. She was bleeding heavily, though she didn’t know whether or not her wound was fatal. Every part of her ached and was scratched up by the baseball bat, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let her mum kill her. She was going to live, and she was going to California with Ethan and Hannah no matter what.

Pamela got to her feet, now fully enraged. She picks up the baseball bat and hots Lex across the head with it.

She stumbles a little but manages to stay on her feet. She lunges at her mother, trying to stab her with the pocketknife. She didn’t want to hurt her but needed to defend herself and distract Pamela long enough so that she could escape. 

“Fucking bitch!” Pamela yelled as Lex managed to stab her right below her collar bone.

Seizing her chance, Lex makes a break for it, half running half stumbling over to the bedroom. She gets through the door and over to the window occasionally throwing whatever was at hand over her shoulder to try and hit her mother. She clambered out of the window, falling heavily onto the ground outside. She struggles to get back to her feet, but manages to do so and makes her way into the woods behind the trailer.

She presses her still bound hands to her stomach, hoping to stem the flow of blood. The action was incredibly painful, but she ignored it. Her battered body could barely hold her up, but she remained standing, knowing that if she fell it was likely she wouldn’t be able to get back up.

She could hear her mother crash through the trees trying to find her. Lex tried to stay as quiet as possible, hoping that her mother would just give up and go away. She leant against a tree hoping to save her energy to get to Ethan and Hannah. With her hands the way they were, she couldn't get them to go at the correct angle to get her phone out of her pocket to call him, so she would have to walk.

Eventually her mother seems to move away from the part of the woods where she was hiding, and she decides to make her move. Slowly she stumbles out of the woods and starts the trek over to the garage where she knows that Ethan and Hannah would be at. It was normally about a twenty-minute walk to get there from the trailer, but in her current state it took her far longer. There were several times where she thought that she wasn’t going to make it there, but she kept telling herself that she needed to live. She needed to spend her life with Ethan, she needed to watch Hannah grow up, she needed to take them to California.

She was approaching the garage from behind. There was a small field that she needed to cross. The grass brushing against her legs stung as they made contact with her cuts. With every step she made she didn’t know if she was going to make another. She stumbled, her head swimming. 

She tripped over a rock and came crashing to the ground with a cry of pain. She lay there for a few seconds as she came to the realisation that she was on the ground. She tried to get up but couldn’t, her bound hands were trapped beneath her. Every inch of her was in so much pain that she couldn’t move. She couldn’t get up. Tears began to well up in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She became overwhelmed with the fear that she was going to die there, and no one would know. She was so close to her destination, it was only a few metres away, but she couldn’t reach it.


	19. I Am Damaged

Hannah had been playing in the breakroom as per usual during the time that both Lex and Ethan were working. She didn’t mind being in there. She got to do whatever she liked so long as she didn’t break or ruin anything. Occasionally one of the other mechanics would come in and they’d play with her if they had time.

Right now, she was on her own, drawing on the window with some whiteboard markers. She was happily preoccupied with this until she noticed someone walking across the small field that the window looked out onto. She didn’t take much notice of them at first, but then as they got closer, she recognised them. 

The person looked like Lex. What was Lex doing there? She was meant to be at work. She squinted at the person. They were definitely Lex, but something was wrong. Hannah didn’t know what it was, but there was something not right about her sister. Then she saw her fall and not get back up.

Hannah screamed. She needed to alert someone, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from where Lex had fallen. She kept screaming until Ethan came into the room.

“What’s wrong, Banana?” He asks, wincing slightly at the high pitch of the scream.

Hannah pointed out the window, but all he saw was the field, Lex being obscured by grass, though there was a humanoid shape to be seen.

“What is it?” He asks, not knowing what she’s on about. From his perspective she was screaming at an open field.

“Lexi.” She said. It was the first time she had spoken since her mother had attacked her.

“Did you just speak?” He asked, rather stunned at hearing her say an actual word after so many months of not saying any.

“Lexi.” She said again.

“Lexi’s at work.” He said.

Hannah shook her head, pointing hard at the fallen shape in the grass. “Lexi.” She still hadn’t seen Lex get back up so knew that something had to be wrong.

He decides to take a closer look outside. He knew that Hannah rarely said something that didn’t make sense to her, so if she was screaming about Lex then there had to be a logical reason for it. He saw a slight movement in the grass, noticing the humanoid shape for the first time. He squints, though can’t make out any details. “Is that Lex?” He asks pointing at the form.

Hannah nods, looking slightly scared.

He knew he needed to go out there. “Stay here.” He said, running out of the breakroom and out of the garage. 

“Where are you going?” His dad asked, but Ethan ignored him.

He ran around the building and out into the field and over to now, what he could clearly tell was a human and as he got closer he could see that it was Lex, lying on her stomach in the dirt. “Lex?” He says coming over to her and crouching down.

“Ethan?” She says weakly, hardly believing that he was actually there. She thought she must be imagining things because what were the odds that he’d know that she was there. As far as she knew, no one had seen her fall and she was obscured by grass to the casual onlooker.

“I’m here, babe.” He says, gently rolling her over. She lets out a small cry of pain at the movement and he stares down at her in disbelief. Her front was covered in blood, her clothes in tatters. Her hands, bound in duct tape and cable ties, were purple from lack of blood circulation though they were holding her lower stomach where most of the blood seemed to be coming from.

He knew he needed to help somehow. Out of his pocket he pulled a Stanley knife which he had just been using to cut open some boxes and used it to cut Lex’s hands free. He could tell she’d tried to remove the tape but had ultimately failed.

Once her hands were free, they fell down to her sides. She was unable to lift them back up to cover her wound.

“Shit, babe.” Ethan said, pressing his hand to her stab wound to try and stop the bleeding.

She groaned from the pain of it but knew that the pressure was necessary. 

“You’re gonna be okay.” He said, his other hand coming up to her face, brushing away hair and dirt.

Lex had grown very lightheaded, barely being able to think straight. There wasn’t a part of her body that wasn’t in pain. She thought that if she closed her eyes and tried to sleep then maybe she would feel better. 

“Keep your eyes open, you gotta stay awake.” He said, trying to get her to keep her eyes open. He could see that she’d lost a lot of blood and had watched enough TV to know that he shouldn’t let her go to sleep.

“Ethan, what’s going on?” His dad asked, starting to walk over to him.

Ethan looked up from Lex for but a moment. “Call and ambulance.” He said. He knew that Lex didn’t like doctors and never wanted to go to a hospital, mainly out of fear of them separating her and Hannah. She had even made him promise once to never take her there, but right now he didn’t have much of a choice. In the past he’d been able to help her tend to whatever injuries she collected. But he was no doctor and she had clearly been stabbed. He didn’t know if any of her organs had been damaged. He didn’t know how to stop her from bleeding. He didn’t know if she was at risk of dying but he knew that he couldn’t live without her.

“Ethan?” She says, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m right here, you’re gonna be okay.” He couldn’t let her be anything but okay. “Save your strength, you don’t have to say anything.”

Tears began to well up in her eyes. “I need you to promise that you’ll take care of Hannah.” She said, disregarding what he just told her. 

“We’ll both take care of her.” He said. That was the plan, they would take care of her together in California. The three of them were going to be a family once they got there. 

“And tell her I love her.”

He shook his head, tears starting to form in his own eyes. “You can tell her yourself.” He didn’t like how Lex was talking as if she would never see Hannah again. She was going to because she was going to be okay. He couldn’t fathom the thought of losing her, so she had to be okay.

She reaches out with a shaky hand, taking his hand that wasn’t applying pressure to her wound, and intertwined their fingers. She looked him dead in the eye, wanting him to hear every word she said. “I love you so much, Ethan.” She whispers. When she had first fallen, she had thought that she may never get to tell him how much she loved him, but now that he was here, she needed to make sure he knew. “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too, Lex.” He carefully rests his forehead against hers. He wanted to be as close to her as possible, though didn’t want to hurt her. “You’re gonna be okay. You have to be okay. I love you so much.”

With all the strength she could muster she lifts her head enough to kiss him. It doesn’t last more than a second before she has to break away. Darkness had been creeping in at the edges of her vision and it was starting to consume her. She kept looking at his face, the face she loved so much, until she could no longer keep her eyes open.

“Come on, Lex, you gotta stay awake.” He said rather desperately, seeing that she was no longer conscious, her skin an incredibly pale pallor. He couldn’t lose her. He refused to lose her. Tears were running down his cheeks as he pressed hard against the wound at her stomach. “Please wake up.” He said. She needed to open her eyes. He needed to see her beautiful eyes.

Sirens could be heard in the distance. He knew that they were for her. He was so scared that it would be too late by the time they arrived.

He held her hand tightly. “Come on, babe, please just wake up.” He begged.

She didn’t respond. The only sign that she was still alive was the slow rise and fall of her chest with every breath she took.

He brought their joined hands to her chest so that he could feel her heartbeat. It was slower than he thought it should be. She had lost so much blood. She hadn’t said, but he knew her mother was somehow responsible for this and he wouldn’t be surprise if there was a trail of blood going all the way back to the trailer. 

She was so strong. He always knew that, but the fact that she had walked so far as injured as she is was incredible. He knew she was strong enough to survive. He had to believe that, because thinking of anything else was too painful. He didn’t know what he would do if she died. But he didn’t have to think about that because she wasn’t going to. She was going to live damn it.

“You’re gonna be okay, babe.” He whispers to her. He didn’t know if she could hear him, but that didn’t matter.

He was so focused on her and trying to do all he could to help her that he didn’t even notice when the paramedics arrived. He didn’t want to let go of her when they came and surrounded her. His dad had to pull him away.

“I gotta help her, dad.” He said, trying to get back to her. He couldn’t leave her alone. She didn’t trust anyone in the emergency services, and he needed to make sure that she knew she was safe.

“You’ll be helping her by letting the paramedics do their job.” His dad said.

“Do you know her blood type?” One of them asked as Lex was placed onto a stretcher so that they could take her over to the awaiting ambulance.

Ethan shook his head. He mentally beat himself up; he should know this sort of thing. 

He follows the paramedics over to the ambulance. He wasn’t about to let Lex out of his sight. He was about to step into the vehicle when he suddenly remembered Hannah. He had told her not to leave the breakroom. He really hoped she hadn’t been watching from the window, not that there would have been much for her to see.

He turns back to his dad. “Hannah’s in the breakroom.” He says.

His dad nods. “I’ll get her and meet you at the hospital.” He said, turning to go back into the garage.

Ethan enters the ambulance and sits down as close to Lex as he could while one paramedic worked to try and stop her bleeding, the other climbed into the driver’s seat and began the journey towards the hospital.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He was so scared for her, for himself, for Hannah. If the worst did happen then he would take care of Hannah. He didn’t know if he’d get her to California though. That had been what he and Lex were going to do together. He didn’t know if he’d be able to afford if without her. He didn’t know if he’d want to go without her. All the memories he had of her were here in Hatchetfield. But he wasn’t going to need memories. All three of them were gonna go to California together. Not one of them was going to be left behind.

He managed to reach out and take hold of Lex’s limp hand. He squeezes it. “You’re gonna be okay, babe.” He whispered. She would be okay. “I love you.” He wanted her to know that he was there, and he loved her. He needed her to know. He just hoped that she could hear him.

It didn’t take them long to reach the hospital. He followed the paramedics where they brought Lex inside the building. Nurses and doctors swooped in, pushing her further along a seemingly endless corridor hooking her up to all sorts of things he didn’t know the names of and talking amongst themselves. As they reached a set of double doors, one nurse broke away from the group, stopping him from going further. He tries to push past her. He needed to be with Lex. He needed to help her, to keep her safe.

“I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t go any further.” The nurse said.

“I need to help her.” He said, trying to keep her within his sight as the double doors closed, blocking her from view.

“The doctors while do all they can for her.” The nurse said, trying to reassure him.

“What are they going to do?” If they weren’t going to let him be with her, then the least they could do was tell him exactly what was going to happen to her.

“They’ll perform various scans to see what sort of internal damage she may have and depending on the results of those she may need surgery. They’ll be giving her a blood transfusion also. That’s all that’s known right now, we’ll keep you updated as things progress. Now if you could make your way over to the waiting room?” The nurse gestured to a room coming off of the corridor they were currently standing in. 

He nods slowly and starts walking over to the room. He couldn’t stand the idea of waiting and not know if Lex was okay, but he went anyway, knowing he had no other choice.

He found a seat in a secluded corner and sat down, though he couldn’t sit still. He’d constantly bounce his leg up and down or stand up and ask the receptionist if they knew anything about Lex.

He spent an exceptionally long fifteen minutes like this until his dad showed up with Hannah. They came over and sat with him, Hannah sitting on his lap, putting a stop to his leg bouncing.

“Lexi?” She asked him. She didn’t know that what had happened to her sister. All she knew was that she had fallen over and now they were in the hospital.

“The doctors are fixing her up right now.” He said. He managed to smile weakly at her. He didn’t want Hannah to start worrying or stressing. She would already be having a hard enough time as it was being so suddenly brought out of her routine and take to a place she’d never been before.

She nods, making herself comfortable before pulling a lump of Play-Doh out of her pocket and beginning to play with it.

They sat there and waited, the minutes crawling by at a snail’s pace. Ethan wanted to get up and find wherever Lex was and make sure that she was okay. If she had any sense of her surroundings, he knew that she would probably be freaking out. She hated the thought of going to a hospital. He felt terrible for being responsible for getting her here but knew there was no other option. Every other injury he had been able to fix up for her, or she had been able to fix herself. But this was beyond him.

The sun had set by the time a nurse emerged and called over to them. He’d had to sit there for hours watching as other people got news about their loved ones and now it was finally their turn. 

He walked over to the nurse carrying Hannah, his dad shadowing behind.

The nurse began explaining every scan and procedure that they had done to Lex. He wasn’t really listening. He didn’t understand all the medical jargon and didn’t care too much about it. All he wanted to know was whether or not Lex was okay. He was so desperate to see her. He wanted to hold her tightly and kiss her and know for sure that she was going to live.

The nurse went on about the various scans Lex had had, and that she ended up needing two blood transfusions. About how she had needed surgery because the knife that had stabbed her had gone through her uterus. 

Ethan didn’t absorb any of this information, while still hanging on to every word, waiting to hear if Lex was going to be okay. He needed to know. Needed to be by her side.

“Where is she?” He asked, no longer being able to wait. “Is she okay?”

* * *

She was tired. So very tired. She wanted to just drift back off to sleep, but something was keeping her awake. There was noise all around her. Some strange that she didn’t recognise and others that were very familiar to her. A voice, warm and comforting, surrounded her.

She felt cold. She felt as if she should be shivering, but she wasn’t. She wanted to be warm again, but she didn’t know how.

She tried to open her eyes, but the lids were heavy and unwilling to open. She felt stiff and sore and unable to move. She wanted to move; she didn’t want to be trapped.

The voice was closer to her now. They were talking about her. She could hear loud beeping. She wanted the beeping to stop. She wanted it out of her head, but it wouldn’t go away. She wanted to scream, but her throat was dry, and she couldn’t open her mouth.

Something warm was touching her hand. It made her feel better. It made her feel safe. Her whole body was freezing, but her hand was warm. She wanted the rest of her to feel like that. She tried to open her eyes and see what it was. She managed to open them a crack, but the world was too bright, and she didn’t have the strength to keep them open. 

“Lex?” The voice said to her.

She wanted to go towards that voice. She loved that voice. She tried opening her eyes once more, so she could see the voice. It wasn’t as bright this time. Someone was leaning over her, blocking out the harsh light above. She knew this someone. She loved this someone.

“Hey, you’re awake.” He said smiling down at her. He grabs her a plastic cup filled with water. “Here, the doctor said you’d be thirsty when you woke up.” He said, helping her drink the water.

She swallows gratefully. “Where am I?” She asked, realising that she didn’t at all recognise her surroundings, and it was making her rather anxious.

“You’re in the hospital.” He said, a little nervous to her reaction. “It’s okay, though. They said you’d make a full recovery.” He added hurriedly.

Why was she in a hospital? She wasn’t meant to be in a hospital. She couldn’t. She needed to keep Hannah safe. She begins frantically looking around having now remembered about her sister. She couldn’t see her. Where was she? She starts panicking, now thinking that the authorities had taken her away. She wasn’t supposed to let that happen. “Hannah!” She calls out, though her voice isn’t very loud at all.

“Calm down, babe, she’s alright.” He says, cupping her cheek in one of his hands. “She fell asleep a few hours ago so my dad took her back to the house.” He explained.

Lex frowned. Her memories of that day were all jumbled, but last she remembered it was the middle of the afternoon. It was unlike Hannah to fall asleep at that time.

Ethan sees her confusion and fills her in. “You’ve been out for a few hours.” He says, he checks his phone to tell the time. “It’s currently 3:30 AM.”

She didn’t understand where all the time had gone, but she believed him. She could see the redness to his eyes and the dark circles underneath. He wasn’t just sleep-deprived, he’d been worried, he’d been crying. She lifts a hand to his cheek, ignoring the dull ache the movement caused. In lifting her arm, she noticed the tubes of fluid that had been inserted into her arm.

Something had happened to make him worry, and that same something had put her in a hospital. But she couldn’t remember why. It was like her mind was a scratched DVD just skipping over whatever had happened between the end of the school day and now. “Why am I in hospital?” She asked.

He seemed a little surprised by her question. He had been so distracted and relieved by the fact that she was now awake and talking to him, that he hadn’t realised that she wouldn’t know why she was there. “You don’t remember?”

“What happened? You’ve been crying.” She says. She needs to know what had happened to make him cry. It hurt her heart to know that he’d been crying and she hadn’t been there to somfort him.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asks her, needing to know when to start filling in the blanks that he knew.

She thinks, straining her mind to try and remember whatever she could. “I remember leaving school.” She says after a while.

“Okay.” He says nodding, trying to figure out what to say to her. He didn’t want to upset her and almost everything he was about to say was guesswork. “I don’t know the details of what happened before you blacked out.” He begins. “But what I think happened is that on your way to work you ran into your mother. And she attacked you. I know she stabbed you and beat you with some hard and spikey object. I don’t know exactly, but somehow you ended up in the field behind the garage where Hannah saw you and told me.” He says. The doctor had told him that she had been hit with something with great force and had guessed whatever it was had caused the thousands of tiny cuts all over her.

Lex sat there, absorbing the information, trying to put together the puzzle pieces.

“I didn’t tell the doctors your mum did it.” He said. “I told them you were mugged.” He knew that she didn’t want anyone to know about how her mum treats her. She was too scared of social services finding out and taking Hannah away.

She’s grateful to him to having come up with the lie. “Barbed wire baseball bat.” She says, a sliver of memory coming to her. She didn’t remember it exactly, but she remembered the pain and knew what had caused it.

“Huh?”

“That’s what she hit me with. A baseball bat covered in barbed wire.” She said. Thinking about the memory made her skin prickle and sting from all the tiny cuts she had received. “Before she stabbed me.” Her hand goes over to her lower stomach, though there was a blanket blocking her from actually touching it. The spot was sore, but it wasn’t as painful as she had thought it would have been. She guessed she was given some painkillers. “She stabbed me there on purpose.” She looks over to Ethan who was watching her intently. She knew exactly why her mother had chosen that spot, but she didn’t know if he would make the connection.  
He gave her hand a squeeze.

“Then I stabbed her.” Tears instantly formed in her eyes. She tries to sit up but Ethan carefully stops her, not wanting her to hurt herself further. “I didn’t mean to, Ethan. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I did.” Her mind was suddenly consumed by the thought of what if she had killed her mother. She had only struck in self-defence. She was only trying to get away.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure she wasn’t hurt that badly.” He says, trying to reassure her. He had never thought he would have to comfort her by saying that her mother was okay.

Lex felt conflicted. She didn’t want her mum to be okay. She didn’t want to have to deal with her anymore. But she also wanted her to be okay. Despite all the shit she’d been put through, Pamela was still her mother, and deep down some part of Lex loved her, as strange as that would seem. She decides to leave thoughts of her mother behind.

“When can we get out of here?” She asks. She shifts a little and grimaces. Her body was very stiff and achy. It wasn’t necessarily painful, due to whatever pain medication she was presumably on, but the movement was uncomfortable.

“Whenever the doctor clears you.” He says, shrugging. He didn’t care how long they ended up staying in the hospital, all he cared about was the fact that Lex was awake and talking to him.

“You’re crying.” She says, brushing a tear off of his cheek that he hadn’t noticed. “Are you okay?”

He laughs. “I should be asking you that.” He says, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “You’re the injured one.”

“But are you okay?” She asks again.

He smiles and nods. “I’m more than okay. You’re okay. You’re alive and awake and talking to me and that’s more than I could ever ask for.” The hours upon hours of worry were washed away with the pure relief that she was okay. Even after being told by the doctors that she would be fine he was still worried. He had sat by her bedside for an age waiting for her to wake up. He barely moved an inch, just held her hand and told her how much he loved her.

“Of course, I’m okay.” She says, smiling back at him. “A little stabbed, but it’s not like I was going to die or anything.” All she remembered of that day was vague snapshots of moments. She doesn’t have a complete memory of everything that happened after she left school.

Ethan’s face fell as she finished speaking. He cleared his throat, swallowed and shuffled his chair a little closer to her. “Lex, you did nearly die.” He says slowly. “And the things you were saying right before you passed it out made it pretty clear you didn’t think you were gonna wake up.”

“But.” She said, seemingly at a loss for words. “I’m fine, though.”

“Yeah, you’re fine now after surgery and two blood transfusions.” He says. “And you’re also on a nice little cocktail of pain meds.”

“Right.” She says, starring off into the middle distance. It was strange to think that she had almost died, and she couldn’t remember any of it. “What did I say?” She asks.

“You made me promise to take care of Hannah and to tell her that you loved her and then you said you loved me.” He says. He doesn’t really want to think about that, about how scared she had been. How scared he had been. Her being so close to death. But she had a right to know. 

Now she was thinking about her sister again. “When can I see Hannah?” She really needed to see her. She needed to make sure that she was okay and that their mother hadn’t gotten to her.

“I’ll text my dad and they’ll come back in the morning.” He said. He knew how much Lex wanted to see her, but it was nearly four in the morning and Hannah was asleep. “She spoke today.” He said. “Well, yesterday now.” He amended himself. It didn’t feel like it was the next day.

“She did?” Lex smiled. “What did she say?”

“She said ‘Lexi’.” He says, mirroring her smile, before it faded again. “She saw you in the field behind the garage and she screamed and said your name until I went out to you.” He said.

Lex’s smile also dropped. “She didn’t see up close, did she?” She never wanted Hannah to see her when she wasn’t able to be the big strong older sister. She always needed to be able to keep Hannah safe and not have her worry.

“Not until after you came out of surgery.” He said.

She lets out a sigh of relief before yawning.

“Tired?” He asks. He knew he was tired; he couldn’t imagine how exhausted she must be.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to sleep.” After finding out that she had almost died she was a little scared to go to sleep.

“You should try and get some more rest, it’ll help you recover.” He said. He also was scared for her to go to sleep, but he couldn’t let her know that. And she did need to rest as much as possible.

“I’ll try if you come and lie with me.” She said. She always felt better when she was snuggled up against him. She didn’t care how small the hospital bed was, she just wanted to be close to him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He said.

“You won’t.” She didn’t really know how injured she was, but Ethan could never hurt her.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He was itching to get close to her, but he didn’t want to hurt her any further.

“I’m sure.” She tugs on his hand, drawing him closer.

He carefully climbs into the tin bed next to her, though there was so little room that she was mostly on top of him. “You comfortable?” He asks, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Yes.” She adjusts her position slightly, and instantly relaxes into him.

He kisses the top of her head, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt whole now that he was back with her. The past few hours had been like he was missing part of himself. But now he was able to hold Lex and keep her safe. Now things could go back to normal.


	20. Seventeen (Reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!  
> If you didn't get the memo, I added what was going to be the beginning of this chapter to the end of the previous one, so make sure you have read it before reading this chapter.

Lex’s large multitude of bruises had mostly faded, and the cuts from the barbed wire had healed a great deal. It was only really the stab wound that still gave her trouble. She had only left the house after being released from hospital to go to her end of year exams and was starting to feel a little stir crazy being cooped up constantly. 

Of course, Hannah was always wanting to play with her, but she also didn’t really grasp how injured Lex actually was. They had never properly told her the extent of Lex’s injuries so as not to worry her. The downside of this was that she thought that Lex was able to play with her all the time since she was constantly in the house.

Ethan knew that not being able to go anywhere or really do much was getting on Lex’s nerves. Much as he wanted to keep her safe and secure inside where there was very little risk of her getting reinjured, he decided to take her out. It was just going to be down at the park where they could just relax, but it was going to be just the two of them. His dad was going to watch Hannah for them. Ethan didn’t think that he and Lex had ever really had a date on their own before, and he thought it would be nice to take the opportunity before they went to California, which was scheduled for two weeks’ time.

They sat together on a small picnic rug. Lex was leaning heavily into him as sitting up straight for too long was still painful for her.

“This is nice.” She said, enjoying the time out of the house. She had her eyes closed, content to feel the breeze on her face.

“It is.” He agreed, kissing her cheek. He too was glad to get out of the house. He was also secretly glad he didn’t have to distract Hannah for a few hours. It seemed like all he had done since Lex got out of hospital was to make sure Hannah didn’t accidentally hurt her.

She smiled, and without opening her eyes, tilts her head upward to kiss him on the lips. “I think I might miss this park.” She said. It was by far that nicest part of Hatchetfield, and she had a lot of memories of the place. Most of them were cloud watching with Hannah.

“Yeah, but there are parks in California.” He pointed out, giving her a quick kiss. “And we’ll be close to the beach, which I’m definitely looking forward to visiting.”

She nods in agreement. “Hannah will love it.”

“Oh, by the way, I almost forgot.” He said, sitting up a little straighter, making sure she was okay sitting before turning and riffling through the bag they’d brought. “I have something for you.” After a few more seconds of rummaging, he pulls out an envelope successfully and hands it to her.

She takes it, looking slightly confused. “What’s this?”

“Open it and see.” He says, grinning broudly.

Slowly she opens up the envelope to find a set of house keys inside. She looks back over to him. “What are these for?”

“Our house in California.” He said. There had been a town house they were looking at renting that was right near Hannah’s school. Ethan had been trying to finalise all the details while Lex was recovering.

“We got it!” She said excitedly, matching his grin. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you once it was official.” He had signed the paperwork but wanted to have the keys in his hand before telling her, just so he knew for sure that it was actually happening. 

“This is amazing.” She said, cupping his cheek with the hand that wasn’t holding the keys and kissing him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said, returning the kiss.

She returns to leaning against him, fiddling with the key in her hand. “Two weeks and then we’ll be out of here.” She says. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was feeling rather nervous about leaving. They had been building up this journey so much that there was all this pressure for it to be perfect. For it to be what they’d always wanted. She was worried that maybe California wouldn’t be as great as they had dreamt it up to be. But she couldn’t deny her excitement to leave Hatchetfield. Even if California wasn’t as amazing as they had thought, they could still move somewhere else. Anywhere was better than Hatchetfield.

He wraps an arm around her shoulders. “I can’t wait.” He kisses the side of her head. The two weeks couldn’t go by fast enough. He wanted to start his life with Lex. He, Lex and Hannah were gonna be a family in California and it was going to be all they had dreamed it to be.

“There’s something I remembered the other day from when my mum attacked me.” Lex said, breaking the silence and shifting to try and sit up properly, but found it too uncomfortable so continued to lean against Ethan.

“Yeah?” He said. He wasn’t going to force whatever it was out of her. He was honestly surprised that she was bringing that day up at all. She hadn’t liked talking about it much, and neither did he really.

“I asked my mum who the man in those photos was.” She continued. “And she said that he was my dad.” She suddenly became slightly teary-eyed as she remembered why her mother had stabbed her in the place that she did. That she hadn’t want Lex’s life to be ruined in the same way hers had been. She knew that the thing that had supposedly ruined Pamela’s life was her becoming pregnant with Lex.

“I told you that’s who he probably was.” Ethan said, smiling at her, having no idea as to what road her thoughts were going down. “Did she give you a name or any indication as to what happened to him?”

She shook her head, looking down at her stomach and in her mind’s eye seeing the knife penetrate her skin. She remembers the pain that ensued.

“Well, I’m sure he’s out there somewhere. And if you wanted, we could try and find him.” He says, still smiling at her, before seeing the expression she wore. “What’s wrong?” He asks, suddenly noticing her change in mood.

“Nothing.” She says hurriedly, turning slightly away from him.

He takes hold of her hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry if I brought up something you didn’t want to think about.” He said softly.

“Don’t apologise, you didn’t do anything wrong.” She says, taking her hand away from his to wipe the tears from her eyes. 

He wraps his arms around her, kissing the back of her head. “You don’t have to worry about her. Don’t even have to think about her anymore. You know that right?” 

“I know.” She didn’t have to think about her mum, but she still did. She always would. So much of her life had been formed around the abuse she had been given. Even if she never saw her mother again in real life, she would still be there in Lex’s mind, forever tormenting her.

* * *

The previous day had been Lex’s graduation. Ethan had been so proud of her and Hannah didn’t really understand what was going on. But that had been yesterday. 

Today was the day that they were finally doing it. They were finally leaving for California. It was the crack of dawn and they were loading Ethan’s car full of everything they were taking. They didn’t have a lot of stuff to their names, but that didn’t matter. They were getting out of Hatchetfield.

He had carried Hannah out to the car and buckled her into her seat. She was rather tired and was still in her pyjamas.

He said goodbye to his parents and climbed into the driver’s seat, Lex sitting in the passenger’s beside him. “Ready to go?” He asks, turning to her and grabbing her hand, interlacing their fingers.

“Ready.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. She was nervous, but so excited. This was the first page in the new chapter of their lives. From here on out, things were gonna go up for them.

Ethan started up the ignition and began the drive out of town. It was going to be a long and arduous drive, but it was all going to be worth it. 

After twenty minutes they drove over the bridge and entered Clivesdale. They were officially out of Hatchetfield. Lex felt as if she was finally free of the trailer. Free of her mother. They would continue to plague her memories, but at least new ones wouldn’t be added.

“We’re out.” She whispered as they crossed into Clivesdale.

“We’re out.” He echoed, squeezing her hand. 

“Lexi?” Hannah said after a few minutes.

“Yeah, Banana?” She turns in her seat to see her.

She taps her lips. 

“Hungry, huh? I’ve got some food for you.” At her feet was a bag with various snacks to be eaten throughout the day. She reaches in and pulls out a packet of sultanas. She opens it and hands it to her sister.

Hannah happily begins eating them. The sultanas rattle in their little box as the car travels along the road. Hannah quiet likes the sound it makes so tries to replicate it as they move onto a smoother section of road. She shakes the box. However, the lid wasn’t on it so sultanas fly everywhere. As soon as she realises this she starts crying.

Lex turns around and sees sultanas all over Hannah and the backseat. “It’s okay.” She says, reaching her hand back to touch Hannah’s knee.

Hannah continues to cry, not liking that the sultanas were everywhere and not wanting to touch them now that they had gotten dirty from being outside of their box.

“What’s happened?” Ethan asks, not really being able to see what had happened through his rear-view mirror.

“Hannah spilt her sultanas everywhere.” Lex explained. “I think you’re gonna have to pull over, babe.” She says as she continues to be unable to calm her sister.

When he was able to, Ethan pulled over to the side of the road. They were only an hour into their drive and he had hoped they’d make it further without having to stop, but Hannah could be unpredictable at times.

Lex hoped out of the car and went over to Hannah, quickly clearing away all of the spilled sultanas. “All better.” She said once she’d finished. “Do you wanna play with your Play-Doh for a bit?”

Hannah nods, cheeks still wet from her tears, but she was no longer crying.

“Okay.” She nods, grabbing out a pot of Play-Doh and hands it to Hannah, who immediately starts playing with it. She then climbs back into the car and Ethan pulls back out onto the road.

They spend the next two days like this. Stopping every few hours to get out and stretch their legs. Hannah wasn’t a big fan of all the driving and having to sit in the same spot for so long. There were multiple occasions where either Lex or Ethan would have to tell her to put her seatbelt back on and stay in her seat. They tried to keep her occupied with doing some school practice or playing various games, but all she wanted to do was run around.

At one of the final stops before getting to California, as soon as they pulled over, she was out of the car. Hannah ran across the parking lot of the petrol station they had stopped at. Across the road was a park and she wanted to go over there.

“Hannah!” Lex called, going after her as fast as she could, but with her still healing wound, it wasn’t as fast as she normally would have been.

It was Ethan who was able to catch up with her before she got to the rather busy road. “Whoa there, Banana. You can’t go running off, you know that.” He said, picking her up despite her protests, and carries her back over to Lex was.

Hannah wriggles in his arms. She just wants to go and run around in the park. “Go.” She says, pointing over at the park, still trying to get Ethan to let her down.

“What’s that, Banana?” Lex asks.

“Go.” She says again, still pointing.

“You want to go to the park over there?” She clarifies.

Hannah nods.

“Well, maybe if you’re good we can go there in a few minutes.” She says.

Immediately Hannah stops wriggling, trying to be on her best behaviour.

Ethan puts her down, though keeps a firm grip on her hand. They go about getting what needed to be done, namely filling the car up with petrol and getting a few snacks for the last leg of their trip. They were about two hours away from their destination and wanted to be able to make it without stopping. 

“Okay, Banana, let’s go to the park, but we can only stay for a little while, alright?” Lex says, taking hold of Hannah’s other hand as the three of them start walking over to the park.

Hannah kept trying to break away, especially as they approached the road, she was just too excited about getting to the park. 

As soon as they made it across, she ripped herself away from Lex and Ethan, running around as fast as she could. Ethan went after her, catching up with her pretty quickly since she was mostly going around in circles. When he reaches her, he taps her on the shoulder.

“Tag, you’re it.” He says, figuring that if she wants to run around then it would be best to make it a game.

She immediately starts laughing as she begins to chase him. Because he purposefully ran slow, she was able to catch up to him and pushes him in the middle of his back. “It.” She says between giggles.

He turns around and starts chasing her. It doesn’t take him too long to catch up with he, and when he does, he picks her up and hangs her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. He looks over and sees Lex watching them, smiling.

* * *

“Why’re we stopping?” Lex asks sleepily as Ethan pulled the car over in seemingly the middle of nowhere. It was dark outside the car, the starts twinkling brightly without the light pollution of a nearby town. She wasn’t sure what the time was, but had been dozing in her seat and Hannah was fast asleep.

“I wanna show you something.” He said, switching off the car engine and hoping outside.

“What it is?” She asks, watching him rather confusedly.

“Come out and see.” He smiles at her before moving out of her line of sight.

She grumbles slightly but unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs out of the car after him. “What do you wanna show me?” 

He doesn’t say anything, simply pointing at a sign she hadn’t noticed in her sleepy haze. It was a large sign reading _Welcome to California_.

“We made it?” She says, rather disbelievingly.

“We made it.” He turns to her, cupping her cheek and planting a soft kiss on her lips.

“I can’t believe we actually made it.” She whispers, part of her still unable to believe that they were out here. They were in the middle of nowhere, far away from Hatchetfield and her mother. This was the start of a new chapter in her life.

“We did it, babe.” He kisses her cheek as she turns to face the sign once more, taking a few steps forward.

In the distance she could see the lights of the next town, but apart from that, they were completely alone. She was in California with the two people she loved and cared about most in the world, and she couldn’t wait to explore this new life with them.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” She turns to find him on one knee, looking up at her. She pauses, confused. “What are you doing?” She had an idea of what he might be doing, but held her breath, not knowing if she should believe it.

“I love you, Lex.” He began.

“That’s not a question.” She said softly, noticing that he was holding something in his hand, but she couldn’t see what it was.

“I’m getting there.” He grins at her. “As I was saying, I love you. More than anything. I love you more than I ever though was possible to love someone. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me and I wouldn’t be here in California if it weren’t for you.” With a deep, nervous breath, he reveals what he was holding in his hand. Towards her, he holds a silver ring with three tiny diamond studs.

“Ethan.” She breathes, hardly daring to comprehend that this was actually happening.

He smiles at her, still rather nervous. “I know we’re young, but I don’t care. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you and I want to marry you.” He says. “My question for you is, Lex, will you marry me?”

She takes a few tentative steps towards him. She crouches down on the ground besides him, holding his face in both of her hands. She looks at him, studies the nervous smile he gives her before she kisses him. 

He kisses her back, wrapping his arms around her, one hand still holding the ring.

After a few moments she pulls away, though rests her forehead against his. “Yes.” She says softly.

“Yes?” He says shakily, amazed that she would ever want to marry him.

She nods, smiling. “Yes, I will marry you.”

His face breaks out into a grin and he kisses her again. He stands up, bringing her with him, only to pick her up and spin around.

She laughs, holding onto him, pressing kisses all over his face.

He puts her back down on the ground, taking hold of her left hand, onto which, he slides the ring. “I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.” She kisses him again, unable to stop smiling.

After several long moments they break away from the kiss, though leave their foreheads resting against each other’s.

“Hannah’s in the car.” Lex says, breaking the silence they had been lingering in.

“She’s asleep, she’ll be fine.” He said, pressing a quick kiss to Lex’s lips. He didn’t want to leave this moment.

“But if she wakes up alone in the car in the middle of nowhere, she’ll freak out.” She says, grabbing hold of his hand and tugging him in the direction of the car. Much as she loved kissing him in middle-of-nowhere, California, her most paramount priority was to make sure that Hannah was okay and safe.

They go back over to the car, exchanging one last kiss before climbing into their respective seats. Lex checks to make sure that her sister was still soundly asleep while Ethan starts up the engine and pulls out onto the road, driving past the California sign. 

They had made it. They were out of Hatchetfield and had driven across the country to California. Lex takes hold of Ethan’s hand, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek before sitting back and watching his smile grow.

He gives her hand a squeeze, daring to glance away from the road at her. He was finally going to be able to start his life with her and it was going to be everything he had dreamed it could be.

They sat in silence as the miles flew by. It was past midnight, but they couldn’t be more awake as they approached their new home. They were going to spend the rest of their lives here. They were going to get married here and grow old together. They were going to live a normal life and take care of Hannah together. This was the dream they had worked towards and now they were going to live it. 

Lex was happier than she had ever thought was possible. All the shit that her mum had done to her didn't seem to matter anymore. What had happened to to her dad didn't matter. That was all in the past, and now she got to be in the future. The world was more beautiful than it had been before. She may not have gotten her wish of being a normal teenager, but she wasn’t going to complain. Her life now was far better than anything normal. It was her life, and it was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, it's finally finished!
> 
> Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, I wanted it to be really good and I also start binging The Office and got kinda distracted. But it's out now so you can't complain. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and that you all have a lovely day/night.


End file.
